The Sunny Side

When I was in the fifth grade, our class read (and was forced to memorize) The Optimist's Creed. Here it is:

Promise yourself:
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind;
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet;
To make all your friends feel that there is something good in them;
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true;
To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best;
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own;
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future;
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile;
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others;
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble;
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds;
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.



I always thought this was nice and appropriate for a 10-year-old. Get your introspection on and enjoy your last year of life without feeling sorry for yourself all the time. But can you guess my favorite part? I'll make it real obvious for you:

"To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others"

Just throwing it out there for all our picture-perfect anti readers to chew on.

You know what? Maybe some holy being will someday come down to Earth to reveal the truths of the universe to all humans. And maybe that truth will be that, indeed, abortion is a terrible, horrible thing that has angered him or her to the point that s/he could not sit back and watch anymore. And maybe all us Abortioneers are going to fry for eternity.

Perhaps.

BUT.

WHOSE PROBLEM IS THAT?!

Ours. Not yours.

So, you can continue as usual, protesting and mocking us and shouting hellfire and brimstone from your pedestals until your god finally arrives to prove you right, and you can jump up and down pointing fingers with your "TOLD YA!"s and look like complete A-holes in front of your god, such that he banishes you to the depths right along with us for judging and for not loving thy neighbor and doing unto others and the Abortioneers have the last laugh.

Or, you can just go about your day, being the best person you can possibly be, perhaps by helping families without enough resources to adequately care for their children (hint hint), praying for your own salvation and nodding hello to the Abortioneers as you simply pass by because you're too busy minding your own damn business, and when the rapture happens your god will be so impressed by your meekness that you shall inherit the earth and do whatever the hell you want.

Just sayin'.

It's funny. Last week at the clinic a protester started, as they all inevitably do, to speak Spanish to a tan woman. She clearly didn't understand, either because she didn't speak Spanish or because this boorish oaf's Spanish was dreadful beyond recognition. A fellow escort asked him why he was trying to speak Spanish to her. His reply: "What do you care what I do?"

!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*

Libertyville Abortion Demonstration

Antis are stupid: more at 11.


(sadly I cannot embed this video, but please follow the link and watch it!)

In her shoes

Ahhh. A lovely Autumn day. The kind that starts off kind of chilly but nice, because you finally get to wear that cute jacket that's been collecting dust in a bin under your bed. And you bring a pair of gloves just in case but end up not needing them, but aren't you clever for having been prepared?

All the Target-brand gloves in the world could not have prepared me for my first day back on the job as an escort.

I had taken some personal time since Spring and hadn't been escorting since. I felt like crap each time I got that email requesting volunteers and deleted it. So I was pretty excited to get back on the pony and set myself up for ridicule and harassment. I was the first escort to arrive and was met by a regular that we have dubbed "Sign Guy". He must have forgotten my face, because as soon as I headed up the sidewalk to the door he accosted me with his nonsense. Now, I usually do not engage the protesters or even talk to them except to request that they not block the sidewalk or the clinic door. But apparently I had eaten Honey Bunches of Bitch for breakfast because my rebuttal was "Go fuck yourself" followed by "fuck off". It actually worried me that I wasn't more quick-witted than to drop the F bomb twice in five seconds. It was bound to be "one of those days."

And it was!

As more protesters and escorts arrived things felt a little more normal. I was out of the swing of things and managed to miss a couple people on their way in, but I was otherwise OK. At one point we spotted a woman sporting a T-shirt that revealed her support for an aggressively Anti candidate in the upcoming election. Yuck. We kept an eye on her, but she kept her distance for a while, planning her attack. I had planned to ignore her (promise!), but she came to me the exact wrong way that morning:

"You should write a letter to your mother and thank her for not aborting you!"

Nope.

I don't even remember how it happened, but all of a sudden we were nose-to-nose and I was yelling in her face that my mother was dead and how dare she tell me shit about my mother and to go fuck herself, too. Had I been coherent and articulate I might have mentioned that my mother had had something like three abortions, some before me and some after me, and that I thanked her for that. For knowing when enough is enough (four, to be exact) and that she really wanted more kids and loved being pregnant but simply couldn't balance being the breadwinner, a workaholic, and having seven kids. But I didn't say all that because a) why bother, and b) I was sobbing after the last "fuck".

I went into the clinic to cool off, but couldn't really. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I had never before been on the receiving end of protester banter, and I finally learned what it felt like. I felt VIOLATED. I felt ABUSED. And good thing I did, because it was that that reminded me why I was standing out there to begin with. I had to protect women from feeling the way I just did. And I know I can't guarantee that it will work, but damn it all, I have to try. So I went back out there, and the crazy lady was long gone. It hadn't been 90 seconds since her near-death experience and she had already run off. Did I scare her? I dunno. Did the other escorts strongly suggest that she take a hike? Maybe. In any case, I like to think that it was our collective awesomeness that sent her packing.

You know what cheered me up a billion percent? A mother walking down the sidewalk with her ~12-year-old daughter slowed down just enough to thank me for what I did. Then the girl, who had Down's Syndrome, waved and thanked me too. I'm not sure if she was just mimicking her mother or if she understood what was going on, but DAMN that felt great.

Nobody thanks the protesters.

The Least Balanced Among Them

Sparky wrote a post about the Rachel Maddow documentary "The Assassination of Dr. Tiller."

I watched it, and thought it was very good. I was expecting to get extremely emotional watching it, but I did not. Seeing Dr. Sella get choked up was very moving, the patient stories, obviously -- but for the most part, I kept it together way better than I was anticipating.

For me, the best point the documentary made was expressed by one of Dr. Tiller's staffers. Essentially, she was saying that anti leaders, like Troy Newman or Randall Terry, are culpable to some degree for the behavior of people like Scott Roeder. She said, and I am paraphrasing here, that they use language of violence, murder, and hatred to incite people. Then, when the least balanced among them acts out as a result of that, they stand back as if they are not accountable and had nothing to do with it. Not unlike how when a football player does something wrong to a player on the opposite team, and then afterwards, when a flag is thrown and he gets caught, he stands there with his hands up as if that somehow proves he didn't do it.




Did I do that?

It is very important for the mainstream media and population in this country to understand this concept. Not just for abortion rights, but a variety of extremely important topics. For example, Fox News saying Obama is a Muslim over and over and over and over and over and over and then acting like it is an interesting news piece / revelation when most of the viewers of Fox News think Obama is Muslim. Similarly, when Bill O'Reilly calls Dr. Tiller "Tiller the Killer" on Fox News 30+ times, it's no wonder then viewers of the program start to view Tiller as not a person but a mass murderer.

The problem lies in where exactly the line of culpability starts and ends. Obviously, it's very complicated and difficult to ascertain. It is mostly shades of gray, and that is why they can get away with it.

I think, generally, the rhetoric of hatred that is so pervasive in this country seriously needs to subside. Hate breeds hate. I have no problem engaging with anti-choicers about the issue and talking about it. Note the word "talking." Talking implies two or more people are participating in a dialogue. I am more than happy to do that. If nothing else, it will help me understand where he or she is coming from better. I have a really hard time doing this, though, when the person is incredibly fired up, saying things that are blatant lies, and seem totally okay with the murder of my colleague. The least balanced among them - those who harass, shame, stalk, humiliate, murder - they are ruining it for everyone.

It would be nice if anti-choice folks were more willing to regulate the behavior of the extreme among them. Their leaders, Randall Terrycoughcough, seem more than happy to embrace their behavior.

Nice save

Ahh, I just love the smell of lunacy early in the morning.

The time is upon us: "40 Days for Life" is well under way across the U.S. and other countries. I took a moment to peruse the website and found some real gems. Here is my favorite, from a collection of what appears to be soundbites from 40 Days participants:

"Learning that the 'free ultrasound' coupon worked, convincing women to get ultrasounds – and saving lives "

I'm so glad that your scheme "worked", and it doesn't sound the least bit conniving or devious. What a farce; tempting women with coupons? How about you offer her some free childcare for that baby she's about to have that she can't support? Which is not to mention that ultrasounds are also provided in ab clinic, but that's a different can of worms.

In the corner of the website there is this ticker:

September 22 – October 31
Day 29 – 346 babies saved

More like 346 women harassed, accused, guilt-tripped. Oh wait, it's more like a billion women. Those 346 are just the ones who actually stopped to listen to you, who either didn't want to have abortions in the first place or who didn't know where to turn for real information and advice and fell victim to your lies and injustice.

In a list of ways for antis to "get involved", the lovely folks at 40 Days recommend the following:

"And please consider fasting. Some people are unable to fast from food for health reasons; that's understandable. Fasting simply involves renouncing an activity that can put a barrier between you and God. It could be television, the internet, chocolate, coffee, etc. You really can do without it. Take the time you usually spend in those activities and give it back to God."

Yes, please starve yourselves. Not only will it do nothing to end abortion, but it will hopefully reduce your anti vigor and I can enjoy a peaceful walk to work. Maybe you can "fast" from being lazy idiots and go help people in need. Clean up one of the filthy, drug-paraphernalia-ridden parks that unplanned children are playing in/being kidnapped and raped in. Or are you too afraid to know how some people really live once they drive away from that clinic? Maybe. All that matters to you is that you have your chance to scream at people during your free Saturdays and head back to cushy homes where you don't have to worry about others' problems. Helping your fellow man, indeed.

Do us all a favor; if you really want to make lots of happy children why don't you start making this world a better place for them. Better homes for our children mean better communities for everybody, including yourselves you anti pricks.

Accidents Will Happen

Oh, Canada!

I've been enjoying one of my guiltiest pleasures, Degrassi: The Next Generation, via Netflix. Not only do I enjoy the melodrama of teenage life in Toronto, but I was also in search of the missing link: an elusive episode that addresses abortion. This episode (of course!) was not aired in the States, so I was dying to know how it went.

Manny Santos, resident grade 9 hottie, has an affair with sensitive rocker Craig Manning, and becomes pregnant. There was the obligatory misunderstanding during the liaison - he thought she was on the pill, she didn't know she could get pregnant her first time/couldn't identify a condom. Manny's BFF is Emma Nelson, know-it-all and buttinsky supreme. Emma was born when her mother was 15, so of course she is an anti because she knows that teenage pregnancy results in pleasant children like herself. Manny and Craig consider running off to start a little family; Manny is sure that her mom would exile her to the Philippines if she hung around, and Craig wants to repair his own broken home. After more consideration, however, Manny starts leaning towards abortion when she realizes she wants to fulfill all her plans for the future. I don't have a video clip of the throwdown, but it goes like this:



Manny: I can't do this. I thought I could, but having a baby now is just....
Craig: You're not making any sense.
Manny: Someday you're gonna be a great dad, and someday I hope I'll be a mom. But now, now isn't someday yet.
Craig: No. No, you're not. Manny, stop! No, I won't let you!
Manny: Please!
Emma: Craig!
Craig: Emma, you butt out! What she's doing is wrong!
Emma: I agree with you, OK? If she was just some stranger I would be furious with her, but she's my friend. And it's her choice.
Craig: It's my baby!
Emma: In Manny's body; what about her?
Manny: I just...I just...I can't.

INTENSE!

Let's rehash my favorite part: If she was just some stranger I would be furious with her, but she's my friend.

God bless that little moral crusader. Emma is just so bright and insightful. She figured it out all on her own that abortion is OK, provided that you actually know and care about the person going through it. It's just so logical!

What Emma doesn't realize, and never will because she's stubborn and a brat and super annoying, is that Manny is a stranger to someone too. Even if you are supportive, someone out there is thinking that Manny is evil and is stomping on her right to choose. But that's cool, because people should only support their friends' abortions? Being selectively pro-choice is not pro-choice! You are still a jerk, Emma! Placenta Sandwich has also addressed this issue on a post referencing the clinic scene from "If These Walls Could Talk". Jada Pinkett plays a friend escorting a patient to the clinic, but is actually stewing in her juices about having to be there.

Granted, I can't blame Emma for this poor choice of words. She is not a real person. But there are plenty of folks out there who feel similarly. I've talked to dozens of them! Women who think that abortion is wrong except when it's herself or a close friend or relative. I exhort those women to consider that all those people outside the clinic, shouting slurs and harassing you or your loved one, might as well be you. Because guess what: YOU'RE STILL AN ANTI.

I think this clip, from the original Degrassi series, handles the topic much better. Lucy, the awesome one, makes my favorite point ever: "So women are just baby factories?" Ah, feminism! TRIVIA: The spiky-haired one is Emma's mom, who admits that just because she is a teen mom doesn't mean she knows what's best for other women. Hooray!

Hump Day

Dear Readers,

To get you through this Wednesday, I bring to you a collection of my favorite anti-choice propaganda. Unfortunately for us, it seems that anti-choice signs contain fewer typos than teabagger signs, so I'll have to give credit where it's due. Still, the logical fallacies remain.




This one infuriates me most of all. DUH. Nobody who was aborted is here. If I were aborted, how would I know? Would we be here having this conversation? WHAT'S YOUR POINT???!?!?!! Also, it's Uncle Sam. Why? Because women who have abortions are unpatriotic? Stupid.



Reason enough to keep an unwanted pregnancy, yes? Maybe your daddy raped your mommy, or maybe your daddy is conspicuously absent, but baby, you've got his eyes!



Melodrama: the anti's calling card. If you wanted to do this correctly you would say "Dead babies cry to me from the ground." Whether or not you believe that fetuses can cry, blood certainly cannot.



Not a typo per se, but this acronym is poor at best. Could you not have thought up "Not-born" for the "N" space? Man, I should be making these things for you guys.




Distressed sigh. How did Catholics go from being at the forefront of human rights issues (even liberal!) to this? Pro-death? I don't even know what that means.



Oh gee, well now I REALLY want to worship him.




I understand quite well the part about not shooting men in church.



Has anyone ever seen a Jew wielding this sign? I triple-dog-dare any anti to march up to a Holocaust survivor and tell him that abortion is comparable to what he went through. No really, go ahead. And if you don't get punched in the face I will pay out of my pocket to print 100 more of these.

Happy Hump Day, folks!

Obscenities

At the clinic where I escort, there is just the sweetest little anti you ever did see. Curly hair, freckles, a tender voice. She might be picking posies with a basket on her arm, save for the literature in her left hand and the rosary in her right. She greets all sidewalkers, anti and escort alike, with a honey hello, and bows her head in prayer.

She makes me crazy.

Harmless though she and all the other well-wishing antis may seem, I rarely if ever return their pleasantries. The nod of recognition is more than sufficient. It manages to say "Oh, there you are" and "Back the shit off" with a modicum of effort. Two birds, one stone.

I've been noticing some of the veteran escorts getting mighty friendly with the antis, in a slap-on-the-back, aren't-we-the-odd-couple kind of way. The only explanation I can find is that immersion therapy has rendered them indifferent, if not receptive, to the conversation that occurs on the sidelines. I'll admit that dull moments arise in that four-hour span, and it might be a larf to reminisce over the past 15 years of enmity ("Remember that time you published my picture in your Christian magazine as the 'Gatekeeper to Hell'? Classic!"). I, however, could never go down that road. I will never forget Strawberry Shortcake's true purpose.

One Autumn morning, she was manning her post on the sidewalk, having made the trip across town bright and early and eager to save lives. She approached the biggest man I'd ever seen to offer him a rosary and some "information" about how he can be a hero. Either he had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or he was annoyed by her failure to realize that he wasn't having an abortion that day, but he was not amused.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

Ouch.

Still, my initial shock was soon replaced by concealed giggles. Now, I would not have screamed that at that girl, mostly because I would never talk to her in the first place. But boy, am I glad he did. Isn't it what we're all feeling, but we just won't say? Isn't it something they need to hear now and then, if not every minute of every day? So I say to all antis, kind and mean-spirited alike:

Kindly fuck yourselves. You are just awful.

Love always,
Anti-Anti

Plug for a fellow blogger: more on fathers

Sparky's had an unexpected travel-related contretemps these past couple of days, but that doesn't mean the pro-choice summer reading stops! I urge you to visit Every Saturday Morning, the blog of a team of clinic escorts in Kentucky, where today Dan has written on the intersection of fatherhood and escorting, and about a confrontation with

disapproving men willing to abandon their daughters during their moment of deepest emotional distress, embarrassment, and fear, and leave them to walk through this gauntlet of hatred with a complete stranger, a man who will be in her life for only a few minutes, but is willing and able to be her surrogate father.

The post is both heartfelt and heart-rending. Dan, thank you for writing about your struggle that day, and thank you for being a pro-choice dad and a compassionate escort. And happy Fathers' Day to you!

Cool Abortiony Vids

As a volunteer at the Global Health Council Conference, I had the opportunity to peruse the booths of other global health orgs and reproductive health ones. Always a fan of Ipas (see our previous posts referencing Ipas), I stopped by their booth and grabbed some literature, plus the obligatory "I <3 Reproductive Rights" swag. Then I went stopped by their YouTube channel, and I strongly recommend you do the same, if for no other reason than the following -- take 30 seconds and watch*:

Think About It


I assume this was filmed in Brazil, which is great because it sheds light on the situation in a heavily- Catholic and anti country.

Did you finish? Good. Let's discuss.

I've always had this theory that people who are not intellectual/politically involved/generally thoughtful just regurgitate things that they are taught. I've spoken with lots of folks who, when asked to explain their views on certain subject, respond "just because". It's simple recitation. You can tell that the person has never truly considered what he/she believes, or why, but just believes so because they were taught so by mom, dad, Father Flynn, or whomever else. That's what I love about this spot; everyone has an automatic reaction to they way they feel about abortion, simply because it's against Catholic doctrine. But when asked to consider the morality of the issue, they're stumped!

Granted, this spot was probably edited to emphasize the point, but I can't imagine that this attitude is rare in Brazil or other Latin American countries. It's crazy! Especially considering the Brazilian government's commitment to health and relatively good health indicators. And the way they've managed the HIV epidemic is laudable. It's sad how religion trumps health/human rights. Those minor details.

ANYWAY. Please check out the channel for other videos and promotions. A treasure trove at your fingertips!

*(Clip also available in Spanish!)

OUTRAGE OF THE CENTURY

Antis, even you can admit that this is out of line.

Teacher Fired for Premarital Sex.

Surely I don't need to be writing this post at all. Right?

"It's time to stop treating us as two equal sides in a reasonable debate. Let's get it clear -- they are the perpetrators and we are the victims. Any discussion of how to de-escalate the situation should take place within the anti- abortion community. "We do not have anything to bring to the table," said Convisser. "We are not willing to say it's O.K. to shoot every sixth doctor or woman."

Recently I attended a conference all about abortion. It was pretty awesome. I met providers of abortion care, advocates for abortion access, researchers of abortion medical protocols -- and even some fellow abortion bloggers!

Speakers included lawyers who prepare court cases defending the right to abortion from encroachment by state legislators; counselors whose experience assisting abortion patients stretches back to before Roe v. Wade; and the women of the Chicago Abortion Fund representing their efforts at grassroots advocacy for patients by patients, which was incredibly cool.

You know who else was there? Security guards, lots of them, and police officers with explosives-sniffing dogs. Not because they were called in to investigate something, just, you know, every day of the conference as a routine precaution. There was a panel staffed by First-Amendment lawyers, criminal prosecutors, and law enforcement experts. It was all about how to respond to violence and harassment against abortion clinic staff and patients, and what threats are and aren't actionable. You could tell some of the abortioneers in attendance were relieved by the rare chance to talk about what they were enduring and to be around others who understood.

Curious what sorts of activities have been documented? Or what threats aren't actionable (or whether it depends on a particular judge's mood on a particular day)? You might be surprised. You'd definitely be disgusted. No matter what your political stripe, I'm pretty sure you think of yourself as a decent person who wouldn't stalk people, threaten harm to their families, kill their pets and destroy their homes and workplaces in order to get what you wanted. You might even go so far as to say, "Hey, that sounds like, um...terrorism?"

Or would you?

Does your movement accept someone who firebombs women's clinics? How about someone who bursts into them with a shotgun and murders whoever he sees first? Someone who conceals explosives underneath an overturned flower pot, maiming a nurse and killing the security guard who stops to straighten it?
Someone who burns down a doctor's house and barn, killing horses and a dog and a cat? Someone who shoots a hero in the fucking face in his fucking church?

How about the people who visit clinic builders' neighbors with photoshopped fetus posters or greet nurses by name at the door of their own homes? The people who park outside my friend's apartment building night after night, or the ones who followed my patient as she drove home from her appointment? The ones who line the sidewalks outside of clinics and jeer, insult, shove, and elbow pregnant women and their partners and their mothers and the people helping them get inside the clinic? Who say creepy but just-vague-enough shit to clinic counselors as they walk in to work, on the phone at work, in the mail at work?

Not the same, you say? They're only expressing their concern and compassion for the innocent? Protected free speech? I wonder what you'll say when yet another one of those "sidewalk counselors" is added to the list of those arrested for harming born, life-living women and men.

I hate that I have to choose between talking about this so that everyone will know, or reassuring my parents and siblings and partner and best friend that I'm fine, my clinic is fine, we have police-caliber security staff and bulletproof glass and a relatively quiet neighborhood populated with relatively friendly businesses. But those ARE the options, because quitting this work is not an option.

I'm fine, my clinic is fine. I just need to: take a different route to work each day, live in a walk-up, never be a homeowner, not shop online, marry a police officer, not have kids or pets, never be famous, not write about my school or my neighborhood or anything about my family, not tell people I meet about this wonderful blog for fear they might connect the dots. You want to talk about common ground? I'm doing lots to meet you there. What are you doing to prevent my murder?

Oh, Colorado.

Great news for people who might get pregnant in Colorado -- Anti-abortion groups there say they have gotten enough signatures for a proposal to make abortion illegal in Colorado. They are hoping to get this measure onto the ballot this fall.

If you don't remember, back in 2008, Colorado put a personhood amendment onto the ballot, which defined personhood occuring at "the moment of fertilization," thereby criminalizing any and all abortions. This amendment was defeated by a large margin, with 73% voting against it.

You would think antis would get the hint after that, but apparently not. The new amendment defines personhood as "every human being from the beginning of the biological development of that human being." Um.... what? Is it just me, or did they swap out the word "fertilization" for more vague terminology? A human is a human when it starts developing biologically??? What does that even mean?? Video killed the radio star??? Things that make you go hmmm.

Hilariously, a volunteer going around gathering signatures said, "This was harder. I don't know why, but people were more callous this time and didn't want to listen." I wonder why they didn't want to listen?? Could it maybe be because YOU ALREADY DID THIS TWO YEARS AGO?? AND THE VAST MAJORITY SAID NO THANKS? AND NOW YOU ARE AT THEIR DOORSTEP AGAIN?

The VP of Colorado Right to Life, Leslie Hanks, said "It's time to let the babies reclaim their liberty." Um, well, the use of the term "baby" is a bit deceptive, since it makes it sound like people are rounding up 2 year olds and putting them in front of a firing squad, but also, I am wondering what about the woman who is carrying the pregnancy? What about her? Neither the 2008 or current amendment appear to have exceptions for rape, abuse, incest, or the woman's life. So... to honor the "babies" liberty, we will be taking away women's liberty and LIVES in the process. What about the woman whose husband is physically violent toward her and won't let her use birth control? What about the woman who is mentally disabled and pregnant (Yes, that happens)? I mean, I could go on for days here with these examples.

It just baffles me how groups can be so passionate about saving "babies" and then so flippant about the women involved. She is simply a vehicle for the pregnancy to get to term and her life/ plans/ goals/ dreams/ wishes/ etc are expendable. Once her baby is born, I hope it is not a girl who lives in Colorado and one day gets pregnant.

Will "web 2.0" change abortion, too?

Yesterday Bob R tipped us off to the story of a Florida woman named Angie who's been live-tweeting her medication-abortion process for several days now.  That's right: 140-character updates about her nausea, cramping, bleeding, clotting ("some women also experience dizziness headache fever and diarrhea") for all the world to read on twitter. The process is winding down now, but it was interesting while it lasted. 

Cool!

Unfortunately, her tweeting, which started out as a way to let her friends know how she was doing and describe to others what the process was like, has also attracted negative attention in spades. Angie's gotten insults and death threats. Some responses are weird, creepy or violent ("I'd like to pull on her ear til it rips from her head"?). I really appreciate what she's doing for all of us despite the creepsters. I also respect that she agreed to an interview with an extremely anti-abortion dude who asked absurdly leading questions and didn't fall apart laughing; her answers were thorough, compelling and supportive of all other women's need for reproductive choice. (To give credit where credit's due: the extremely anti-abortion dude was also extremely polite.) 

Then, not 24 hours after we read about Angie, I came across another woman doing the same thing: live-tweeting her medication abortion. She's just begun it. I also saw some more creepy twitter people messaging her every other minute trying to change her mind: "puke [the pills] up. please puke them up. i'll adopt your child. please save your child." I am not making this up. So the notion of Web 2.0 has been on my mind: it's revolutionizing everything else, so why not abortion? 

On this site we already have a permanent link-list of blogs started by women in the midst of an unwanted pregnancy, blogs dedicated to what happened once they decided to have an abortion. Presumably/possibly, these women have their own blogs in "real life" where they write about their jobs, how their day went, and maybe they even use their real names or post pictures; this blog and that blog will be registered to different email addresses, and never the twain shall meet. And that's understandable. I already can't thank them enough  for sharing their experiences with fellow travelers in a way that providers cannot. They're not responsible for changing the world in one blog. 

But what happens when someone who has a personal website and a personal twitter feed updates us about her abortion like it's no big thing? To me this is looking like the next step. The internet (version "1.0" or whatever) at first enabled us to have more information at our fingertips than ever before -- but only the authoritative or the moneyed could provide that information. Blogging has allowed some of us to share day-by-day accounts of a procedure we formerly only discussed in our living rooms. Now tweeting: by-the-hour, by-the-minute details -- a scale where little things like "cramping got worse for a while but I curled up on my side and that seems to help" are worth mentioning. And where some of us may feel that we can incorporate this little thing into our account of daily life -- our primary account, that is -- not segregated or anonymous, just normal, like it really is. 

____

Update: turns out Salon just wrote about this, too, and includes a Youtube video of Angie explaining the situation (found via abortion clinic days, one of my very favorite sites). 

"Every child is valuable, and children aren't a punishment"

Sorry you haven't gotten your regular Monday-morning post. Work and/or school are swallowing a couple of us whole, but come back and chill with us tomorrow!

In the meantime, we don't want to leave you totally bereft. Check out the words of a man who's pious enough to give us his honest take on the worth of disabled kids and what Christians "suggest" for sinners:

Legislator Says Disabled Kids May Be God's Punishment
By Kelsey Radcliffe
Sunday, February 21, 2010

RICHMOND, VA – State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas says disabled children are God’s punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.

"The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children," said Marshall, a Republican. "In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There's a special punishment Christians would suggest."

and check this out:

"Looking at it from a cultural, historical perspective, this organization should be called 'Planned Barrenhood'" [Marshall said].

[Dean Nelson, executive director of the Network of Politically Active Christians] suggested that the organization be called "Klan Parenthood".

Oooh, zinga-zing-zing! They got you good, Planned Parenthood! Maybe next time you won't choose such a DUMB RYHMABLE NAME. (I actually think it's a fantastic name and a fantastic goal. Poor PP.)

Oh, on that note, can I tell you how many of my clients through the years have mistakenly called it Plant Parenthood, Planet Parenthood [a place where you don't want to go!], Parent Planethood, Paired Planning? A lot! It sort of rolls off the tongue and people don't always remember the specific words, I think.

There's so many other funny name mix-ups I've heard for clinics and funds -- one by the acronym of EMA which a client kept referring to as "she" and I eventually realized she meant "Emma." Abortioneers and friends! Any similar misnomers you're able to share?

What's Your Sign?

I have seen A LOT of stupid anti-choice signs, posters, comics, etc over the years. Here are some of my favorites:


So... you were designed by God? Cool. I heard God designed a lot of stuff. Trees. Grass. Animals. Bagels. Apparently World War II? Isn't everything in the world a part of "God's Design"? If it's so bad to kill stuff God designed, why do you eat meat? And kill doctors?


AH! Yes, Mary. Full of life. The lady who magically became pregnant without having sex. She is definitely a good example of a normal woman's circumstance. I will definitely not have an abortion if I get pregnant without having sex.


EVERY baby is a blessing? What about the 12 year old who is pregnant with her father's child? That strikes me as unfortunate.


Ok, this is actually pretty good. Hahaha.


Well, people who supported slavery also supported the disenfranchisement of women. And anyone else who wasn't a white dude. Also just because I was born doesn't really mean I should therefore decide if other women get to carry unwanted pregnancies to term?


Um. Well first off all, nobody has elective third trimester abortions. NOBODY. And women aren't flippantly going around having abortions. It's a deeply emotional, difficult decision. So yeah....

endangered species?

I woke up this morning to hear a new attack on women’s reproductive freedom…billboards have gone up around Georgia stating that black babies are an endangered species.

Yikes! What a disgusting ad…the antis are really desperate, aren’t they?

On MSNBC this morning, the pro-billboard woman was stating that black women are targeted for abortion and that abortion is affecting their fertility rate. Ugh-idiots! Seriously, this is the most ridiculous thing I have heard a in a long time. First of all, women make a choice to come in to the clinic to seek abortion services. We are not out on the streets soliciting women for abortions. Second, let us not forget that women who have abortions are usually mothers already-having already contributed to that fertility rate.

Unfortunately, for the Right to Life Georgia group, there is no data to support their outrageous claims. The CDC reports that Black women have higher than the national fertility rate (births per 1000 women in reproductive age) and it has gone up over the years.

The amazing executive director of Sister Song was quoted in the NY times saying “The reason we have so many Planned Parenthoods in the black community is because leaders in the black community in the ’20s and ’30s went to Margaret Sanger and asked for them,” Ms. Ross said. “Controlling our fertility was part of our uplift out of poverty strategy, and it still works.”

Hey anti-choicers, way to shame black women for the choices they make. By putting a message out there that black babies are “endangered species” you are sending a message to black woman that by having an abortion they are, in essence, committing a grave crime against their "species." You are sick. We are women, not baby-making factories.

Perhaps we can flip this message. Like Sister Song said, controlling one’s fertility-either through contraception access or abortion-is a way to lift women out of poverty. By putting this message out there, targeting black women, you want to keep the cycle of poverty going by decreasing their access and shaming black women, their families, and their communities.

Wow, antis, you must be so proud.


Picture from NY Times

Dumb

I had always wondered about this, but never really had an appropriate context in which to pose the question. Here goes:

If Catholics are, in the most high-profile way, categorically opposed to abortion, then do other religious antis, including other Christian denominations ever feel isolated or poorly represented in the anti movement?

I think about this frequently. Maybe it's just because Catholics are the first group of people that come to mind when I think "anti". I suppose on the flip side another individual might think of Evangelicals, or simply Repubs. This may also have to do with my past personal experience with some Catholic meanies. I have, however, encountered objective evidence of the monopolization of anti-choice activities by Catholics and its subsequent turn-offing of others. I disclaim that this is a singular incident, and not necessarily generalizable (but probably so!).

As my new pro-choice passion is escorting, I've begun overhearing bits and pieces of anti rhetoric on the sidewalks in front of a local clinic. While I typically ignore the drivel, I couldn't help but pay some attention (albeit little) to a conversation that one of the regulars was having with a city worker. Allow me to set the scene: we escorts are informing patients and passers-by that the loonies on the sidewalks are just there to preach and that it is not necessary to take their handouts, listen to their speeches, or even be polite to them, particularly if they start getting too close for comfort. A woman in a city employee uniform comes around the corner to empty the trash. She is not getting an abortion today.

Anti: Good morning ma'am, yadda yadda.
Me: Just FYI, you don't have to feel obligated to take the information or listen, feel free to ignore if it bothers you.
Woman: Well I can't when I'm on the job, but it doesn't hurt to listen.
Anti (smugly): Well, it's just that these people out here don't realize that Jesus loves them, [insert bible-babble here].
Me: *rolls eyes*

At this point I can't really butt in, I just let them have their conversation and keep my eyes out for other patients. I'm curious to see where this is going though, so I slip in and out.

Woman: Well, you know hearing the word of God never hurt anybody, [other words that indicate that she and the anti have found some common ground].
Anti (peppy): Exactly! Please join us at church some time *hands flyer*. It's a Catholic church on the following intersection: xxxxx & xxxxx
Woman: Oh, it's a Catholic church?
Anti: Something something.
Woman: Something something, but we all worship the same God, something else.
Anti: *tries to recover*
Woman: Something about a unified Christian effort, not necessarily with respect to abortion but generally speaking.
Anti: *flounders*
Woman: *walks away*

What happened?! YOU HAD HER AT "HELLO"!

If nothing else, this is just another example of how sharply divided and generally ineffective this kind of anti action is. Lesson 1: Women who want abortions will get them, and blocking their way on the sidewalks only makes them resent you and not want to be your friends. Lesson 2: Bloody crucifixes, tapestries of the Virgin Mary hung from lampposts, and the "Salve Regina" do not appeal to all folks, even the antis. Even if you can get someone to agree with you on the whole anti thing, why would you scare them off with a "No Protestants Allowed" policy? I notice one regular anti who is clearly not Catholic, and tends to segregate himself from the rest of the bunch. Not that he's unwelcome in their group per se, but let's be honest. He's uncomfortable. Do the antis realize how much that fails? How stupid their tactics are? How simple measures could be monumentally more effective in bringing down abortion?

Let's hope they don't wise up too soon. I rather enjoy choice.

Scare Tactics

One of the worst aspects about being an Abortioneer is the scare tactics.

I'm not talking like Freddy Krueger.


Mummies.


Chainsaw-wielding cannibals.


I'm talking about the frightening shit that goes on in our lives, every day of the year.

Umm... Where do I start?

The harrassment? Hanging outside my place of work with pictures of stillborn babies that WEREN'T EVEN ABORTED (whole 'nother blogpost), spewing hatred at everyone with a vagina who walks by? Screaming at women that God hates them and Jesus will send them to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks? Screaming at me when I am just showing up for work? Getting my license plate information and then showing up at my house? Protesting outside my house in my neighborhood on a Sunday afternoon? Following me home from work because I have a bag that says "PRO CHOICE"? Huh?

What about the shame? Trying to make me feel ashamed for doing my work? Making it hard for me to even bring up the nature of my job because someone might get offended? Worrying that having this on my resume will hurt my graduate school application, or my future job security?

What about the lies? Abortion causes breast cancer? Abortion causes suicide? Abortion fills women with regret? If you go into this abortion clinic we will throw your dead baby in the trash? We will make you push your baby out into a toilet and then leave it there for hours on end? That we will force you to have an abortion? That the abortion will be incredibly painful? That I am a murderer? .......... Wait, what?

And then... then there's the really scary stuff.

The destruction of clinic property.
The death threats to abortioneers.
The death threats to abortioneers' spouses. Their children.
The bomb threats.
Actual bombs and firebombing and arson.
The attempted murders of escorts. Of receptionists. Of nurses. Of doctors.
The actual murders. Of escorts. Of receptionists. Of doctors.
The murders of living, breathing people. IN CHURCH. IN THEIR OWN HOMES.

News flash: Y'all can say and do whatever you want, but when you act out violently, when you reduce something you believe in so much to an act of terrorism,* it brings Abortioneers together. We become more united and more resolute. When you care enough about something to literally risk dying everyday you show up to work, it sorta puts things in perspective, you know? And then there's the people who are middle of the road. Watching the murder coverage on CNN. They see you as a bunch of crazies who go around killing people. "Pro Life" murderers.

I guess my point is that none of us will tolerate your scare tactics. And in the long run they aren't doing anything but creating more negative energy in the world.


*Terrorism (n): the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of My Heart Palpitations

So, I recently got a boyfriend. Squee!

My boyfriend, like most boyfriends, has a mom. Unlike most moms, she used to be a nun. I mean straight up walking-around-in-a-habit nun. Unsurprisingly, she is very pro-life. Very. Pro-life. Anti-Choice as I like to call 'em.

I am slated to meet this lady next weekend. Yes. Awkward. So so awkward. I have already played out how this will go 10,000 times in my head.

Scenario 1:
Boyfriend: Mom, this is Mr. Banana Grabber.
Mr. Banana Grabber: Hi! It's really nice to meet you!
Nun Mom: So, where do you work, Mr. Banana Grabber?
Mr. Banana Grabber: Um... I work at a non-profit that focuses on women's issues.
Nun Mom: Oh?? What's the name of it?
Mr. Banana Grabber: Um...
Nun Mom: *silent judgement*

Scenario 2:
Boyfriend: Mom, this is Mr. Banana Grabber.
Mr. Banana Grabber: Hi! It's really nice to meet you!
Nun Mom: So, where do you work, Mr. Banana Grabber?
Mr. Banana Grabber: Um... I help low-income women get abortions.

Nun Mom:


















Scenario 3:
Boyfriend: Mom, this is Mr. Banana Grabber.
Mr. Banana Grabber: Hi! It's really nice to meet you!
Nun Mom: So, where do you work, Mr. Banana Grabber?
Mr. Banana Grabber: Um... I'm a cashier.
Nun Mom: *silent judgement*

So I am pretty stressed about this. I mean, I refuse to lie about my job or make something up. That isn't an option. It's strange though because I am definitely feeling the need to play the whole thing down. But the fact I am even considering doing that makes me feel all sorts of weird. Am I a bad Abortioneer for wanting to do that? I am not sure how to best handle it. What do you guys think?