We love YOU!

That picture's funny, right? Come on. If you work at a clinic, you totally know WHY that's funny!


Oh, there's soooo much shit going on out there right now, isn't there? Are you getting depressed about it all? I sure as fuck am.

What the HELL is going on in this country, huh?

Well, if you're anything like me, you need a laugh. Especially now. Especially because there are so many damned idiotic politicians making stupid assed comments. (And worse, believing them.)

Because we love you and you're our biggest fan, we want you to take a minute and relax. Yes, that's it. Take a deep breath. Take a moment for yourself.

Relaxed?

Good.

Now. Let's have a little laugh.

This is my favorite. Every time I buy Prego, I think of this:

I used this one back in January, but January was a loonnnnnnng time ago. So here it is again.

Funny, right?


Feel better? At least a little?

OK, GOOD!

Try to have a good day, all ye fellow Abortioneers.

We love you. (It's true!!)

Give yourself a BIG pat on your back. You deserve it. You're AWESOME!

Now.
GO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

Sex Selection

Are there ever times you feel a little – uncomfortable – with a woman’s reason for having an abortion? We’re not all Saints of Non-judgment, though some of us may strive to be. (Err…maybe some of us don’t…)

Last week, a recent immigrant from an Asian country (I won’t say which) came to our clinic for an abortion. I was the abortion counselor that day. She was in her second trimester and wanted to know if we could figure out the sex of the fetus. This isn’t a completely strange question, but I don’t get asked that often.

Because she was less than 18 weeks and because we don’t perform diagnostic ultrasounds, I explained we wouldn’t be able to identify the sex. I let her know that usually diagnostic ultrasounds to determine the sex are done between 18-22 weeks and that if she had a physician/midwife, she could schedule an ultrasound with them at that time (as it is standard practice).

She wasn’t willing to wait at least another month to have an abortion. You know the drill: she’d have to travel out of state; the cost would be much higher; she’d have to spend time away from home; someone would have to watch her small daughter while she left the area (and explain why she needed a babysitter); and her husband would have to get a lot of time off work.

We don’t ask patients why they want to have an abortion. Really, it’s none of our business. Still, lots of women offer their reasons when we ask if they’re sure of their decision, if they have support, etc.

The woman from last week calmly offered she didn’t want to have a girl.

Look, I’m about as pro-choice as they come. As long as it is a patient’s own decision to have an abortion, I’m cool with it regardless of the circumstances or gestation. I’ll admit though, it took me a slight second to register what the patient was telling me. My brain hitched.

I nodded at her and she explained herself, though she didn’t owe me any explanation at all.

In her country (like in many), girls do not have as many opportunities as boys and are considered a burden. She and her family plan to go back to their country soon and they wouldn’t be able to afford another girl (it costs a lot of money to have girls marry/dowries).

There’s been some national controversy about this (like, in May); even the pro-choicers didn’t want to really talk about sex selection abortion occurring. The reality is, though: it does. It’s not very common in our country, and I’ve never heard anyone – except someone who is from an Asian country – even mention it, at work. And I’ve been doing abortion work a long time.

The concept seems very foreign to us; but, is it really? Globally, there is underlying sexism that drives the devaluation of women. It happens here, too. Please, how many people have raised their hands saying women in this country don’t deserve to be paid equally to men? (Rolling eyes.)

It was a good reminder for me that we’re here to support women, in whatever it is they want, and trust that they know what they need for themselves, even if we may not understand it. We don’t need to understand. We just need to be there.

Meet Paul Ryan, Or, Sound the Alarm Bell

If you haven’t heard yet, Mitt Romney has selected his running mate: Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan. He is a great choice - if you’re wealthy, white, and male. Otherwise, fuggettahhbouttit.

 Let’s review some key facts about Paul Ryan as they relate to his views on women.

• He co-sponsored a bill, the Sanctity of Human Life Act, which defined a fertilized egg has a human being. If this horrible piece of legislation passed, it would criminalize most forms of birth control, including the pill and in vitro fertilization. 
• He supports banning all abortions for everyone. No exceptions for any woman or situation. Doesn't matter if the mother will die, if the mother is 13 and was raped by her father, if the fetus has terrible anomalies would only live a few painful minutes. He doesn't care.
• He voted for the Protect Life Act, which would allow hospitals to deny abortion care to women who would die otherwise. 
• He voted to ban federal health coverage from including abortion. 
• He supported the Religious Freedom Tax Repeal Act, which would allow employers to question women about what birth control they use and why, and to deny them coverage for birth control if they feel like.
• He voted to provide funding to health care providers who do NOT provide information about abortion.
• He has expressed support for states to prosecute women who have abortions as well as the physicians who provide the abortions. 
• He voted against family planning information in US aid abroad. 
• Like Romney, he wants to defund Planned Parenthood, which as we all know, is an important place for women and men to seek STD testing/treatment, breast, cervical, and testicular cancer screenings, birth control, etc.
• He voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. So basically he doesn’t believe women deserve equal pay for equal work. 
• He authored a budget that would dismantle many government assistance programs, like food stamps, which women and children disproportionately rely on.

But really, I should just let him speak for himself:

“I’m as pro-life as a person gets . . . You’re not going to have a truce. Judges are going to come up. Issues come up, they’re unavoidable, and I’m never going to not vote pro-life.”

!!! Okay then. Since there's no "trucing" on women's rights issues, the only thing that we can hope for is that Ryan's extreme views will turn off moderate Republicans, independents, and all women everywhere. (Besides the fact he is completely unsupportive of gays, minorities, students, seniors, the environment, etc.)

Paul Ryan: I do not like him.

First Impressions

Can someone please come up with a "Tripadvisor" for abortion clinics? Who wouldn't want to rate their clinic experience? It would be cool, in an ideal world, if women felt safe enough to "rate" their experience. (Check out Abortion Care Network's Advice on choosing a clinic.)

- Were the staff friendly on the phone and in person?
- Was the doctor warm?
- Was it efficient and informative?
- Was it in a good location?
- Was the clinic clean?
- How was the website?
- What did you like and dislike?

First impressions count. They count when your clients call your clinic or your abortion fund. They are listening for something. Anything. Any detection that the person on the other end of the phone might judge them. She's trying to decide if you're the right place for her.

Abortion is riddled with stigma. People think of back alley abortions and dirty instruments. If your clinic is in a bad neighborhood, needs a paint job, and your staff aren't warm and professional (maybe they answer their phone too quickly and sound apathetic), it just adds to the nasty abortion stigma. On the other hand, if you have a modern, clean facility out-of-reach from hassling protesters, affordable prices, and kind staff, you're rockin' it. Right?

Women don't share their abortion experiences, but it would make a difference, I think, for women to weigh-in and provide online referrals. I use all sorts of websites like Yelp! that help me determine whether I want to go to a certain restaurant or not. Do I want someone's opinion on the abortion clinic they went to? Yes, please.

So You Want to Be an Abortioneer

So, you’re thinking of becoming an Abortioneer. Yay! There is no shortage of Abotioneers, so you’ve come to the right place.
With all jobs, there are pros and cons. Abortioneering is no exception. Here’s a list of some potentially negative things to consider if you want to be an Abortioneer.


1. What should you say when people ask you where you work? I believe there is no right or wrong answer to this question, and that you may likely find yourself varying your answer depending on circumstances. Abortion is highly stigmatized. Depending on your geographic location and your own community, you may or may not feel comfortable stating where you work and what exactly your job entails. Check this out. And another.



2. Abortion is riddled with stigma. This impacts LOTS of things (could be multiple blogs in and of itself), including how people respond/react to abortion, which means it will impact you. Be aware of this. Even people you think are liberal may not be pro-choice; people you consider – or consider themselves – to be conservative may be. This might impact the way you talk about your daily life; for example, while an accountant may be able to talk about her day at work to most anyone in a social situation, you may not feel that you can without potentially being harassed (or even violating HIPAA). Here are some previous blog posts about talking to others about your work. This. And this one. And this. And yet another. (You can see we write about this a lot.)



3. Abortioneering can be isolating at times. (I could write several blogs about this topic alone.) Stigma plays into this, causing many abortioneers to feel somewhat guarded about their work lives. In an unhealthy (but probably not-so-uncommon) situation, some abortioneers may even feel a bit cut off from their communities, families, friends and stay safely within Abortioneering circles. (There are many reasons this could easily occur – but they require another post!) It’s up to you to come up with strategies to keep involved in your community. We all need support. Which brings us to…



4. Support. You'll need it. Consider ways to get the support. Having friends, family, and co-workers you can talk to helps immensely. If key family members and friends are not supportive of your decision to become an Abortioneer, you may be in for a bumpy road. Compile strategies on how to deal with this in healthy ways. Abortioneers are amazing people. You’ll probably be drawn to them. You’ll have common interests, they’ll understand what you’re going through, and you can talk about your day with them. They “get it.” And there’s a beautiful community out there waiting for you, filled with passionate, caring people. Still, try to strike a balance between your abortion world friends and your non-abortion world friends so you keep a foot in your own community (even though, it will be strange to navigate this at first). Here are some posts we're written on support, or calling on the need for it. And here.



5. Work for an organization that encourages its employees to support one another. Sounds obvious, but I would try to suss out if they really do support their employees (in the ways their employees want/need). It might be best to know someone you can talk to who works for the organization to see how their organization supports them. It may be more difficult for some employers to breed a culture of support nowadays. In this economy, many clinics and organizations have had to reduce their staff. That means fewer people working harder and smarter. That also means there is less time during work to seek out support from co-workers. I would argue that it would benefit you to find the ones that do their best under the circumstances. (This could mean: happy hours; occasional lunches; debriefing meetings; whatever.) I have a friend who used to work at a clinic and they would write down all the funny things their co-workers said. At a bi-weekly meeting, they’d start off by reading out all the funnies. This helped lift spirits and encourage a spirit of teamwork.



6. Work/life balance. Abortion is intense. Talking to a 13 year old who was raped and now wants an abortion is intense. Many abortioneers are motivated to make a difference in others’ lives. That commonly means you’ll focus on the women you serve throughout your day. This is an absolutely amazing, special, and rewarding part of Abortioneering. It’s where all the magic happens. It can also take its toll if you don’t take care of yourself. Take your lunch. Take your breaks. When things feel especially intense at work, step outside. Go to the restroom and take deep breaths if you have to. You will most likely need ways to decompress after work as well. Try not to take your work home with you. (Literally and figuratively. This is difficult to do.) When I was single, I would go straight home, get a glass of red wine, grab a great book, and soak in the bath. Now that I have children, I decompress in the car, en route to picking them up from school. I blare music, chat with my friends on the phone, nip into a little shop. Whatever. When I get home, I focus on my family and, late in the evening, I make an effort to do something just for me. Here's a post about that.



7. Security. Ever so sadly and infuriating, the safety of the facility where you work, the safety of your doctors, your co-workers, and yourself is at risk. I hate even having to type that. But it is true. Depending on where you live, the risk might be lower. I know a handful of people who have been followed. It’s not uncommon for anti protesters to take photographs of staff. They might even write down your license plate number. US Marshals recommend clinic workers register their cars to a PO Box or to their place of work, not to their homes. It may be disarming to see the doctor wear a bullet proof vest. Depending on where you work – and honestly, at any abortioneering job they should be talking about this – you might be advised to stay alert at all times, walk out of work in pairs (at least), change your route home on a regular basis. This began to impact me more deeply after I had my children. I didn’t want some psycho following me home to my two kids. Consider your safety. Look around at the facility where you’re working: do they take security seriously? If it’s a clinic, there should probably be, at minimum, security cameras, bullet-proof windows, alarm systems, etc. Here are some posts about safety and security. And here. And a last one.



Hopefully these ideas help a bit. Ask away if you have questions! Good luck in your Abortioneering job search. It really is an amazing sector to work in.

Abortion Funnies

We all need to laugh a lot. It's good for you. Even the Mayo Clinic says that it helps relieve stress not just in the short-term, but also the long-term. Doing frontline abortion work has its inherent stress. So, our gift to you, our fab readers, is some cartoons to make you laugh.

Have a wonderful, happy day!


We're so proud our blogger, Mr. Banana Grabber, got the whole Siri thing stirred up...internationally! I find it a sign of success that as a result, there are the following photoshopped pics where Siri is overcompensating for not finding abortion clinics...



I had this conversation after my abortion...



And another someecard...Anyone who is already a mother might recognize this passing thought!



The way it goes, sometimes....!

Raising Abortion Money Creatively

Recession. Tough economic times. We all hear about it. All the time. It’s daunting and scary. Many have lost jobs. Unemployment rate has increased. It impacts clients, too; it’s harder to come up with money for abortions now. I used to hear that patients were able to borrow money more easily from friends and family than they are able to now. More and more, you hear how people’s support networks are being drained. Women have to be more creative with raising funds…like in the photo at the beginning of this post.

I think having a keg party to raise money for an abortion is one of the most brilliant ideas I’ve ever heard and I’m so going to tell all my patients who need money for their procedure about it! The thing is, though it’s funny, the keg abortion fundraiser probably was a real event. There’s a website called Texts From Last Night where you can submit funny (most likely real) text messages. Those that are especially humorous get posted by area code. You can also search under many keywords, like abortion. Love it!

A shortlist of some of the more creative ideas I’ve heard from patients for raising money are:
1) Yard Sale
2) Bake Sale
3) Church collection
4) Student loans
5) Tax returns
6) Borrowing small amounts of money from multiple people (like $25 from four people = $100)
7) Selling rims from a car
8) Selling stuff off Craigslist
9) Braiding hair/hairstyling (utilizing a talent to earn extra money on the side)
10) Cleaning houses

Sadly, we hear about all the tragic things people have to do, too, like sell food stamps, their wedding/engagement ring, their kids’ toys, etc. Hopefully some of these ideas will help your patients come up with creative ways to save money towards their abortion…

Any other suggestions?

Fear Tactics!!!

Fear Tactics, scare tactics, fear-mongering, etc etc etc. More and more we see fear tactics being used in public health to educate, motivate, guide, and shape fill-in-the blank behavior change. Living in New York City I am quite familiar with the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene's constant assault on innocent subway riders with their love of smokers using talking machines, legless diabetics, HIV-infected individuals who also have anal cancer, soda pop that turns into mounds of fat, and the list goes on and on (but read here for a quick overview).

In the abortioneering world, I have seen many fear-based campaigns regarding sex, and specifically on avoiding teen pregnancy and HIV/STIs. How many of you have seen the ad with the crying baby? Or the billboard that tabulates how much a baby costs in their first year alone? Or the genitalia laden with sores? I think just about every high school or college sex ed course shows those squicky STI slides. What about images/videos of the penis swab testing that used to be standard for male STI testing? Any of this sound appealing?

Ok, so then lets say you either ignored those messages or were not scared by them...and you wind up with an unwanted pregnancy. Where do I even begin to list all the scare things we are told about abortion? Breast cancer anyone? Perforated uterus? Lifelong infertility? Depression? Suicide? Our family/friends/lovers/clergy will be disgusted with us? Have you heard these?

So, the million dollar question is, do these fear-based campaigns work? Well, the research is mixed, and it generally depends on the health issue and the duration and saturation of ads. In the field of sexual and reproductive it ultimately does not matter, because until there is universal access to family planning and safe sex, all the scare tactics in the world do not matter. Same goes for abortion. And then there are the large numbers of people who are raped, so once again a fear tactic about an itchy crotch won't change things.

What fear tactics have you heard of or seen (or used yourself to persuade others)???

Susan G. Komen Idiots

Seriously, this Susan G. Komen stuff is offensive and crazy. So many of us have dealt with breast cancer first hand. My grandmother died from breast cancer. Even had a double mastectomy, but that ugly cancer spread to her lungs. A friend from high school, in her 20's, died from breast cancer. I'm sure most of you can relate.

Why the fuck Susan G. Komen would ever try to defund any organization that helps detect breast cancer, is beyond me. Beyond all of us. And we all know there is no correlation between breast cancer risk and abortion. Even the CDC and WHO...oh, and the National Cancer Institute have said so. RH Reality Check's Editor-in-Chief, Jodi Jacobson, wrote a great piece here. What's uber scary about this, is that she points out that they've hired individuals who are blatantly anti-abortion and politicize abortion themselves. Like their new VP who was quoted writing on her campaign blog (oh, and she was endorsed by fucking Sarah fucking Palin), "I will be a pro-life governor who will work tirelessly to promote a culture of life in Georgia.... I believe that each and every unborn child has inherent dignity, that every abortion is a tragedy, and that government has a role, along with the faith community, in encouraging women to choose life in even the most difficult of circumstances.... since I am pro-life, I do not support the mission of Planned Parenthood." Her name is Karen Handel and is the former pro-life gubernatorial candidate for Georgia. Seriously? Read more here.

I'm so frustrated by all this fucked-up bullshit, that I can hardly write straight about it. There will be better articles than mine. And Vegan Vagina wrote a very good one yesterday. I used to feel good when I'd buy products that went to support the Susan G. Komen foundation. Fuck that shit now. I will refuse to support them in any way.

Screw 'em.

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Happy Friday, dear readers! We all need a bit of cheer sometimes, so thought we'd try to brighten up your almost weekend by sharing some of our favorite abortion funnies. A huge thanks to someecards which just rocks. So, for starters, we think those of you who get stuck in traffic will enjoy this one!


Sadly, this one seems to sum up our government at the moment!


OMG! Honetly, an Abortioneer must've come up with this one...


An Abortioneer might've made this ecard, too. Might actually be a great blog post sometime!


Because that would happen...(sarcasm)


Feel a bit unsure about whether to post this one or not since I don't agree that there are people who "should" have abortions; however, I love the point that this makes...(15 year olds are able to get on the pill, but can't get Plan B OTC? Puuhhhhlleeeaaaz.)


Ha!
(my favorite funny of the day!)

Hope these made you laugh! This isn't an exhaustive list for us...and feel free to share some of your own favs, too!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rape.

I just can’t understand that there are people out there who don’t support abortion even when rape is the cause of pregnancy. I don’t want to understand these people and I don’t believe I could even be civil to one of them. I really don’t. (And if you knew me, you’d know I’m civil to most everyone.)

This week, my co-workers and I advocated for a young girl – 13 years old – who was pregnant and had been raped by her father. Last week, I was helping an elderly woman schedule an appointment for her 12 year old granddaughter who had been raped by a cousin. A couple weeks before that, I was trying to help a woman that lived 300 miles away to get to our clinic for an abortion after being raped by a guy 1,000 miles away. All of these girls had to travel to our site. All of them needed help coming up with the money to pay for it. Each of them was in their second trimester. One of them had been denied Plan B at a Catholic hospital after her rape, so she thought she didn’t need it and believed she wouldn’t become pregnant. Under lots of stress, she didn’t think twice about not having her period for awhile. The 12 year old had only just started her menses, so she didn’t even know/understand/think to tell anyone she wasn’t bleeding.

How anyone – ANYONE – could deny these young women an abortion is absolutely beyond me. As clinic employees and abortion advocates, it’s our responsibility to do everything in our power to be there for them, to give them resources, to help make their abortion experience empowering in some way. Our doctor who will help give rape victims a bit of control during their abortion; he will ask the women to hold one of his fingers and if at one point (before aspiration), they want him to stop so they can breathe/take a break, then they just have to pull on that finger. This works. It gives the clients a voice without using their voice. Some control in a position – literally – that could bring back horrific memories.

I don’t agree with – but can be respectful of – individuals who don’t agree with abortion for most circumstances; but I just cannot – and will never – be able to get behind someone who believes that even if raped, that abortion is wrong. Sometimes, I just wish that those individuals could meet one of these girls. Or just talk to them. And though everyone says it: if it was one of their children/grandchildren, I would hope to god they’d be supportive of her having an abortion after a rape, if that is what she chose (because I do know that not everyone who becomes pregnant as a result of rape chooses abortion).

Anyway, I just want to say to those who don’t agree with abortion even under this circumstance, need to totally go fuck off. That is all.

Apple iPhone Siri Update

This past Sunday, I blogged about the Apple iPhone's Siri, and her noticeable lack of knowledge regarding abortion, contraception, and reproductive health in general.

I was thrilled to get a ton of feedback, via our wonderful readers and other sites picking up the story.

First things first:
The rumors are true -- Siri does not have any useful information about abortion/contraception/etc. Reader Amadi was amazingly helpful and provided screen shots of all the relevant questions we wanted to ask Siri. I highly recommend you check out her piece, which is fantastic. The images below are from her post.


Amadi notes there is a clinic less than three miles from where she was sitting when she asked Siri this question. Siri did not define abortion and did not offer to search the web, either.

Even searching by specific clinic names (and then with their street names) turned up nothing, while searching for a specific hardware store brought results, even though she searched using an incorrect specific name (!).

Birth control, EC, and rape queries were all similarly useless:




So, it seems clear we are on to something here. Now, there are two questions:

A. Was this on purpose? and
B. What do we do about it?

A. I don't know if this was on purpose or not. It is true that Siri is new technology and it's bound to have technical glitches. It is also true that Apple purchased this technology from another company. Norman Winarsky, one of the founders of Siri, was questioned on this topic, and he thinks "...what’s happening here is that Apple has made deals with Web services that provide local business information, and Apple probably hasn’t paid much attention to all the results that come up.”

I am inclined to agree with him, mostly.

However, part of me is also a little too sketched out by this. It seems really, really, really bizarre that inquires about other drugs (ie, Viagra), pull up relevant results while EC and other forms of BC don't. It seems weird Siri doesn't know what rape is, or where an abortion clinic is located in your area. How many coincidences until things start to seem like a purposeful pattern?

The bottom line, though, is that whether this was on purpose or not, we'll never know. I imagine if Apple gets wind of this they will say it was an accident. This part doesn't matter so much as Part B.

Part B is where you come in.

We have created a petition we would like you to sign:
http://www.change.org/petitions/siri-why-wont-you-help-me-find-family-planning-services

Send this to your friends and family. Tweet it, Facebook it, digg it, Pinterest it, and post it on whatever other newfangled sites that are now verbable.

The more people we get on board, the more likely Apple is to take notice and fix this!

What's the Deal with Siri?

Do any of our readers have the new iPhone 4? If so, I'm curious if you could do us a favor, and ask Siri

-I am pregnant and do not want to be. Where can I go to get an abortion?
-I had unprotected sex. Where can I go for emergency contraception?
-I need birth control. Where can I go for birth control?
-What is an abortion?

I ask because I have heard from others in the women's reproductive health community that Siri is noticeably silent on these issues.

Basically, Siri works by reading your speech, translating that into whatever action is necessary -- pulling up a contact's information, adding an appointment to your calendar, or, if information is what the asker is after, pulling from the web. Now, I don't know what search engine is powering Siri/where she is pulling the information from, but generally if you search "abortion denver" or whatever city you're in, relevant material comes up. (A whole bunch of anti-choice information comes up too, but that's a whole 'nother blog post).

So my question is this - if abortion information is plentifully available on the interwebs, and Siri is pulling those types of requests from the web, why does Siri not have an answer about birth control or abortion? If you ask Siri where to bury a dead body, she seems to be full of ideas:



How cute and clever!!! :/

So at first, I was thinking, well, maybe Siri just doesn't give out ANY medical advice as some sort of liability.

But here it seems like she is willing to point out the hospital:


And refer to other medical places based on a keyword:



Siri also has lots of other interesting pieces of advice:




At minimum, this is incredibly fishy. I'm hoping more people catch on to this soon. What is going on here??? I can't help but feel that something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

10-year-old gives birth in Mexico

In Puebla, Mexico, located an hour and a half east of Mexico City, a ten-year-old girl gave birth via cesarean section on October 22nd. She was 31 weeks along, and suffering from seizures, which is why she ended up in the hospital.

Both the girl and the baby are okay, but the baby is still in the hospital.

The first question, of course, is how did this 10 year old become pregnant? The authorities are looking into the matter to determine if she was raped. In Mexico (with the exception of Mexico City), it is illegal for a woman to have an abortion, unless she can prove she was sexually assaulted. If she can’t prove this, she may be fined or placed in jail. It is worth noting that there have been several cases of women being sentenced to up to 30 years in prison for this. That doesn’t exactly set a strong precedent for coming forward if someone has been raped and wants to get an abortion. Even more troubling, some research I did online suggested that Mexican law does not define incest as rape, but as consensual sex between family members (!!!).

This case is a perfect of example of why such laws are problematic. We don’t have the full story yet, so we don’t know what exactly happened, but at minimum it seems very unusual for a ten-year-old to be pregnant. Besides the obvious that she is a CHILD and therefore does not have the ability to even consent to sexual intercourse. Why should she have to “prove” she was raped if she wants to get an abortion for a high-risk pregnancy? Her uterus is most likely not yet fully developed yet, and cannot carry a pregnancy to term without significant dangers to her health.

And without access to legal abortion, young girls and women are likely to turn to unlicensed, dangerous people who lie about their backgrounds and perform abortions on women unfortunate enough to cross their paths. Though the whole “back-alley” abortion thing seems kind of cliché at this point, it unfortunately is a stereotype for a reason: these things happen.

I am glad the girl and her child turned out okay, but I wish that our world respected women and girls more, such that this poor girl wouldn’t have had to go through all this. I wonder if she can even have children in the future. :(

The Mississippi Personhood Amendment

Next week, Mississippi voters will be voting on Amendment 26. If passed, a fertilized human egg will be considered a legal person, thus making abortion (and some forms of birth control and miscarriage) murder.

The Personhood strategy goes back to 2008, when Colorado citizens attempted twice to enact similar laws, both of which failed miserably. Colorado is much more liberal than Mississippi, though I guess pretty much any state is more liberal than Mississippi.

Should this pass, and it does seem like it will, this promises to be big trouble for women. Not only because it will like fire up the base and states like Florida, Ohio, and South Dakota have similar movements happening, but because it will reframe the debate to "birth control isn't abortion," away from the core message that women have the right to have abortions.

Yikes. Additionally, there is no exception for rape and incest victims. On Amendment 26's website, they have a "What about rape?" section, and it is simply a link to Rebecca Kiessling's website. Her mother was raped. Because Rebecca is alive and glad about it, this is somehow supposed to imply that all women who are raped should be forced to carry the pregnancy to term, go through the excruciating pain of labor, pay for all the medical costs associated with pregnancy and labor, and then have a baby and pay for all childcare costs as well. The fact that Amendment 26 couldn't even bother to create a separate page to address the concerns of rape victims (and incest cases were completely ignored) illustrates how blatantly they disregard women and others in general. Their view is so narrow and slanted that they are incapable of offering compassion or caring for a woman who has gone through a horrible experience. You cannot say that every case of rape is exactly the same and each woman will want/need the same thing. You just can't.

And then there is the whole birth control thing. Under this amendment, using birth control, the IUD, emergency contraception, and having a miscarriage would all be forms of murder. This is very problematic, obviously, because if having an abortion is murder, then women are going to want to be extra sure to not get pregnant. Yet many common ways to avoid getting pregnant would be classified as "abortion" under this amendment. WTF? Amendment 26's birth control page, "How does Amendment 26 impact birth controll (sic) & bioethics" appears to be all about cloning and IVF, with no mention of how OCPs or the IUD would be impacted by this bill. Again, WTF? I can only assume their complete dismissal of this is because they realize there is no way they can really say that birth control won't be illegal under the amendment.

As for the miscarriage issue, all they say is, "The Personhood Amendment would prevent the intentional taking of a life, but it would not adress (sic) miscarriage."

THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER, GUYS.

As we have talked about before, the vast majority of abortions occur before 12 weeks. I know it's a little gross, but if you have a person look at the pregnancy tissue of a nine week old pregnancy and then a 5 year old, and then said, okay -- the tissue or the child has to die -- pick one, most people would pick the tissue. That is because the tissue is NOT the same thing as the child. I know some people believe they are, but my point in this example is that when it comes down to it I don't think most people really think they are the exact same thing. Which is why, until this point, personhood bills have failed so badly. Is a woman who has a miscarriage, a totally natural process out of her control, a murderer? No. And is someone who takes birth control pills killing a baby everyday? Is a woman who has an IUD in killing babies too? NO EFFING WAY. Is someone who has IVF killing a baby if the first egg doesn't take? No. If someone was raped by her father and takes the morning after pill the next day murdering a baby? NO. It's not the same thing. So stop acting like it is.

/end rant

Telling Dad About My Abortion...Almost!

Sometimes it’s hard to come out as an abortioneer. We know that. And sometimes it can even be hard coming out to family. I never kept my abortioneering work a secret from my immediate family, but I still haven’t told my dad about my abortion. Okay, you’re probably wondering why I am worried about it or care about telling my parent. I mean, I don’t owe it to him or anything. I was in my 20’s when it happened. It’s not part of my job description as his daughter to let him know many years later, “Hey, dad, remember the time I dated that total asshole? You know, the one you hated? Yeah. Yeah. THAT one. Oh, no! Not THAT one, the OTHER one you hated. Well, errr, - uh – yeah, I had an abortion.” Shock and awe!

The thing is: I keep few secrets from my dad. We’re close. Despite this, he hasn’t ever been super supportive of my work or of abortion. He even calls the clinic “the gut and suck.” I’ve heard equally snide comments over of the years about women who have them, the procedure, you get the point; so, when we went to a poetry slam a couple weeks ago where Lauren Zuniga performed “To the Oklahoma Lawmakers,” I was nervous. (Seriously everyone, if you don’t know who she is, you need to.) I’ve mentioned her before to you all, but if you love her like I do, you can never tire of watching her. So, for some ear, eye, and heart candy, here you go.

Though I believe art can be a platform to share ideas and even transform beliefs – if not just challenge them – I was scared about my dad hearing this poem. I shifted in my seat, scratched my neck, and worried he would make another dismissive remark about abortion (which, of course, I take a little personally). Instead, during our drive home, he told me that “To the Oklahoma Lawmakers” was his favorite poem and performance; when pressed, he said it was because “everything she said was true.” I really couldn’t believe it. In fact, I said: “Who are you and what have you done with my dad?!” For the first time in over ten years of my work as an abortioneer, my dad and I spoke honestly and openly about abortion. For the first time in over ten years, I felt he finally got it. Finally understood the humanity behind abortion. Finally got ME. And for the first time in many years, I felt like I might actually be able to share with him that I had an abortion (without being judged) – not for me, really (not in the sense that I need to share my experience) – but so that he can further understand, put a face to, abortion and let loose of stereotypes. Judgment.

All I know is I am grateful for art. For poetry. For spoken word. I will never be able to stop being grateful to Lauren Zuniga. I feel I owe her. And I hope she reads this. Art can transform you. It can transform relationships. Miraculous? Yes. Proof? Dad doesn’t call the clinic “the gut and suck” anymore. And I think sometime soon, we’ll talk abortion again.

P.S. If you want to watch more of Lauren Zuniga, check her out here on YouTube.

Dr. Tiller's Late Abortion Patients

Last night, I went to make a cup of tea. All the cups I normally use were in the sink (whoops), so I reached to the back of the shelf where I keep my "special" mugs, and I pulled a mug for Women's Health Care Services, Dr. Tiller's now defunct clinic.

There has been renewed interest in his clinic and the doctors he worked with. More specifically, Dr. Ann Kristin Neuhaus, who provided the legally required second opinion for Dr. Tiller's late abortion cases from 1999-2006. 11 cases are under review, because someone filed a complaint to the State Board of Healing Arts.

I read about it in this article. One of the patients in question, a 15 year old from Illinois, bothered me in particular because the author of the article makes it seem like she got an abortion because she didn't like basketball anymore, and that's it. The cases described in the article are missing a lot of details in general, ie, was the 15 year old pregnant because her 22 year old boyfriend impregnated her? Did she spend 20 weeks trying to get an abortion and was unable to raise funds and ended up at Dr. Tiller's clinic? If there is anything my experience in the field has taught me, it's that the reasons and psychology of a woman seeking an abortion is very complex. Just like people in general. We aren't one-dimensional images that can be fully understood in a few sentences. People reading these articles can easily jump to the conclusion Dr. Tiller was doing abortions on young women for totally ridiculous reasons. He didn't do that.

Dr. Tiller didn't take abortion lightly and did not give abortions to people who were flippant about it. He just didn't. I am thinking because of HIPAA laws the article couldn't reveal more, and as Dr. Neuhaus stated herself, she was worried anti-choice people would get ahold of these documents. Clearly her fears were correct. Obviously, if Dr. Neuhaus was cutting corners and not properly documenting these cases, then that is wrong. I could only find articles about this from the anti-choice perspective, so it's hard to fully determine what was going on her.

It just saddens me that anti-choicers are still obsessing over this clinic which is now closed. Dr. Tiller has been dead for 2.5 years. RIP.

Abortion - Mixed Feelings: We Aren't All Nicely Wrapped Packages

We know that women have abortions for many reasons. And we know some women feel a myriad of emotions about having abortions. Sometimes, they don’t; but I’m going to talk about complexity today. Sometimes the “abortion feelings” are wrapped so tightly, are so entwined with the “everything that’s going on in my life” feelings, that they aren’t separate at all. Yet, they kind of are. It’s like the ying and yang. It’s usually the “everything that’s going on in my life” that turns a woman toward abortion. Life/Abortion. One not quite existing without the other. If things were different…different decisions might be made. (Always the conundrum of life, really.)

I’m not telling you anything new; but sometimes, abortioneers like to make the abortion decision - and the feelings about the decision – nicely wrapped into a fine package of “I’m going to be okay. Everything’s fine. I am woman. Hear me roar.” But it isn’t always so simple. It’s not always wrapped up so nice and sweet, delivered into the palms of clinic workers with a smile on the face and a “here you go. You don’t have to worry about me! I’m your text book feminist having an abortion.” Sometimes, the decision is dead easy…but attached to a heavy heart. Sometimes, it’s sad. Sometimes, it’s terrifying and feels wrong. Wrong, because your life wasn’t supposed to be like this. You weren’t supposed to be one of those girls. You didn’t grow up saying, “One, day, I want to have an abortion.” But life can take twisty turns down dusty roads. Shit happens. He happened. It happened: whatever “it” is. The “it” is not the same for everyone. And trust me, we get it.

Sometimes, just sometimes, the experience – or multitude of experiences – that brought her to stand in front of us, asking for an abortion, can’t even be dealt with at the time. Just getting the abortion completed (money in hand, ride at her side, pads in the car, kids taken care of) might be all that can be handled with right then and there. Don’t fuck with her about her relationship or question if she’s sure she doesn’t want to try a new birth control method (because, this one failed. Right?). If she sighs deep, looks like she hasn’t slept, seems distant: just fucking hold her hand. Show her kindness. Let her breathe. Let her deal with the other shit when she can.

We (women/people) can’t always handle life all at once. We can’t always be expected to be strong. We can’t always be expected to carry the heavy, heavy weight bearing on us. So we take out strips of our life from our pockets and face what we can. Piece by piece if we have to. Year by year, if needed. Maybe he hurt you in ways you never told anyone. And though I don’t think women have to heal from an abortion, it might sometimes seem like it, because we may have to heal from all the hurt that surrounded “it” happening to us. And it’s not that it’s confusing: we shouldn’t have to separate, really, the possible pain/sadness/hurt/regret (that things weren’t different) about the abortion from what our life was like at the time of the abortion. To let go, to grieve what you’ve lost in your life – that “what could’ve been” – is okay. It’s equally okay to have mixed feelings about an abortion during a mixed up part of life and still feel solid and certain that abortion is the best decision, while feeling so…unraveled.

We’re women. We’re complicated. And we don’t fit in neat little boxes, wrapped up nicely, with smiles on our faces. All of the time.

What isn't about abortion?

Abortioneers. Tell me if you haven't met someone -- a young girl, an older woman, a mother of four, the grandmother of the patient, a survivor on the run -- whose hands you wanted to grasp as you told her, basically, this:

The Laughing Heart

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.


Charles Bukowski

Seriously, the GOP frightens me.

A Few Things:
1. Could this video be anymore reminiscent of George W. Bush? Seriously creepy.
2. Liberals often criticize GOP leaders like Bush, Palin, Bachmann, and Perry for being, well, not very smart. I think this video is an excellent example of this. Republicans counter that Liberals are just snobby intellectuals who think people who don't talk in "educated" ways are therefore stupid. Therein lies the problem and I think the crux of differences dividing the parties. Just because I think Rick Perry is a fucking idiot and this video is an excellent example of his fucked up ideas, does not mean I think everyone from Texas is stupid. I think Rick Perry is stupid because he has a moral stance (sex before marriage is wrong/bad/sinful and abstinence is the only way) that he maintains in the face of overwhelming evidence that abstinence only education does not work and does not do any favors for the teens of Texas or anywhere else in the United States. When pushed on this, and I give props to the interviewer for refusing to let Perry off the hook, Rick Perry bumbles and offers no legitimate reasons why abstinence-only education works besides "abstinence works."
This is what Liberals find so annoying - just saying you personally believe it works in the face of facts that suggests otherwise does nothing to persuade me that you have a credible opinion. Conservatives, who tend to have more opinions based on morals, I think find this appealing because he is "sticking to guns" that sex is bad and abstinence is the best.
3. This practical/moral divide is even more apparent in the abortion debate. The pro-choice sides argues that women should have control of their reproductive rights and be able to choose when and if they have children because it's a complex issue and sweeping laws banning it don't make sense in many cases. Rape, incest, maternal indications, say the father is abusive, or the family lives under the federal poverty line, or the mother gets sick often, or the mother already has 3 kids.............etc. Anti-abortion people say abortion is murder no matter what and therefore all abortions are bad. (Except for, of course, when they get pregnant. Every clinic I've ever interacted with has stories of protesters who come in for procedures).
4. Both the contraceptives and abortion issues also highlight, at least to me, that Republicans don't care about women. Their beliefs on this matter have no gray area, no wiggle room. If you are a teenager and had sex (BTW I wonder how old Rick Perry was when he lost his virginity?), there is no message of "Maybe we should talk about sexuality," or even, "Let's talk." It's you are bad you did a bad thing and if you are pregnant then you better keep it! Because that bad thing you did results in a magical holy pregnancy and if you want an abortion then that is EVEN WORSE because that's murder. Obviously, not everyone who identifies as Conservative holds these beliefs and I'm not trying to suggest that every Republican thinks that way. However, there is something to be said for the idea of fact-based opinions and moral based opinions, IMHO (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)
5. THIS IS TERRIFYING NEWS FOR THE ELECTION. Since, historically, the economy is the greatest predictor of who will get elected, it seems likely (at this point) a Republican is most likely going to get elected. The prospect of having to deal with another of these idiots in the Oval Office is really sad/frustrating/UGHHHH