Army of One

In the wake of all this anti-woman sentiment that’s been blowing around the last few years, the public has started to take notice of the plight of enlisted women in the armed forces. Entrenched in a nearly all-male environment, women have been victims of discrimination and violence since they were first allowed to serve during WWII. Women have not been allowed to fight in combat with men; they do not receive coverage for abortion under military health plans, nor can they receive abortion services in military health facilities. Most egregiously, they are frequent targets of sexual  violence by officers and fellow enlistees. I take that back; the worst part of all is that complaints of sexual violence are rarely taken seriously, assuming a complaint is made in the first place. Most cases go unreported, for fear of retaliation or punishment. 

That’s right. In the US Armed Forces, you can be punished for being raped. It sounds like something that might happen somewhere far away, like the woman from Morocco who killed herself after being forced to marry her rapist. But nope. This is happening right here at home. It would surprise me, but little does these days. 

I first learned about this phenomenon a few years ago watching The Coathanger Project, in which a former soldier told her story of being dishonorably discharged for having sex and then attempting an abortion. More recently, I watched The Invisible War, a documentary about women enlistees (and some men) who were raped, even drugged and beaten, and received no help from those in charge. They were slut-shamed, victim-blamed, or plain told to suck it up. When a group of victims brought a lawsuit against the military for mistreatment of them and their cases, it was dismissed on the grounds that sexual assault is an occupational hazard of being enlisted. 

Gag me with a spoon. 

If you haven’t seen the film, DO. I can’t remember the last time  I was so angry, so if you’re interested in draining yourself emotionally it’ll do the trick. One issue that wasn’t addressed in the film was the what happened to those who became pregnant as a result of rape (which can happen!). As we know, you can’t get an abortion with military funds or in military facilities, so I’m sure those people have quite interesting (and horrific) stories to tell. But I suppose that would become a six hour movie. 

You know, I’ve gotten lots of flack in my life for not loving my country as I should. For threatening to move to Canada if Bush was elected. For not buying that the military has anything to do with protecting my freedom. For hating American flag  and “Support our Troops” bumper stickers. For questioning why our defense budget is out of this world but we can't feed the poor. For not identifying as a patriot, because being a patriot these days apparently means toting a gun, driving a big car, and popping off firecrackers in a South Carolina rest stop in a "USMC" t-shirt. But the reason I don't love my country as I should is because, call me crazy, I believe in an America where women are treated as equals. Where they can fight alongside their brothers without fear of incest. Where they can love their country so much that they'll die for it without feeling unsafe around the people who supposedly keep us safe. Support our troops? Not as long as they're raping our other troops.

 Look, I have lots of thoughts on this, but sadly I don't really know what I can do except stand together with victims and support reform in the military. I think some minor changes are happening (better moves than these god-awful posters, and these, and these), but I'm pessimistic that nothing will change on a large scale until misogynistic looneys are six feet under. I guess I just want to raise awareness, and give readers the opportunity to learn and pass on their learnings to others. Talk about it, make sure that people understand why this is such a problem. And pray not only for our troops, but for the sad, angry place this country has become in hopes of REAL security and freedom. 

What isn't about abortion?

Abortioneers. Tell me if you haven't met someone -- a young girl, an older woman, a mother of four, the grandmother of the patient, a survivor on the run -- whose hands you wanted to grasp as you told her, basically, this:

The Laughing Heart

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.


Charles Bukowski

Precious Girls

"I sit in my room. I know too who I'm pregnant for. But I can't change that. Abortion is a sin. I hate bitches who kill they babies. They should kill them, see how they like it! I talk to baby. Boy be nice. Girl might be retarded, like me? But I not retarded.

I bet chu one thing, I bet chu my baby can read. Bet a mutherfucker that! Betcha he ain' gonna have no dumb muver.

I look down my stomach. I'm some big now. I'm only seven months but I know I look nine. I mean I am big. Scale just stop at 200 but I know if it a different scale like hospital scale it just keep going. I'm going to doctor tomorrow. Miz Rain fall out, I mean she fall out! when she find out I ain' been to doctor. PRENATAL! PRENATAL! The whole damn class is screamin' preeeenatal! Whas that! You gotta this, they say, and you gotta that- I don't gotta though. I don't tell them I had first baby on kitchen floor. Muver kicking me, pains whipping me. Who gonna believe some shit like that?"
PUSH by Sapphhire p. 63


PUSH is a fictional novel by Sapphire that was recently made into a movie called Precious, named for the main character. This is a story of a girl who makes her way in the world after a lifetime of abuse of many forms. She gives birth to a child who is the result of rape by her father at age twelve. Her story unfolds as a testament to the role of literacy and knowledge as an instrument of self love and the ability to make personal decisions. Precious' story entails aspects of racism, classism, sizism, sexism, literacy, health care, access, and abuse.

Early on in the story Precious is kicked out of her high school because she is pregnant, she is told she is too old to be in junior high school and asked to leave. She is given information on an alternative Each One, Teach One program by the same teacher some time after being kicked out of school. She is pregnant for the second time by her father at the age of sixteen.

I would venture to say that most people who are strongly against abortion might even be willing to agree that abortion is acceptable in Precious' circumstance. However, Precious makes it clear that for her abortion is not an option, despite her circumstances. If I spoke to Precious I might ask her to seek more extensive counseling but I would tell her not to get an abortion if she doesn't want one. The children Precious gave birth to gave her a sense of purpose and helped her develop a sense of self-love.

The quote above strings together many different issues. Precious knows she is pregnant by her father and she asserts her negative opinion of abortion. She then wrestles with her feelings of self-degradation: if she has a girl it might be retarded like her. Next she hits on the importance of literacy: her baby will be able to read and will not have a dumb mother. Her next thoughts jump to her own body image: "I'm some big now....I mean I am big." In this story it is clear that she has internalized that being big is ugly and gross. Finally she mentions that she has never had prenatal care for either of her pregnancies, and links all of this back to the abuse with her description of the birth of her first child on her mother's kitchen floor.

This trail of thought is so poignant because it is clear that for Precious her access to health care and information is tied to her abuse. All of this is a part of her internalized self-hate. She is fat, black, ugly, and retarded. It is literacy and information that helps Precious escape her abusers and begin to learn her own self value. Her choices are limited and so each decision she makes is limited by access to information and resources. She doesn't think she needs to get prenatal care because she doesn't have the information to know how to take care of herself.

People who should have helped Precious place blame on her. Precious' mother blames her for the abuse from her father and for both pregnancies. The teacher who initially kicks her out of school blames her for being pregnant and assumes Precious has a nasty attitude. All people and systems that should have helped Precious blame her for her predicament, until she meets Miz Rain in the Each One Teach One program. Typically people who are victims of classism, racism, sexism and miseducation are blamed for their circumstance, they are treated as individuals with an individual problem, rather than a product of an abusive, dysfunctional social system.

I may not have spoken to the Precious girls who hate abortion. However, I have spoken to the Perfect, Lovely, Bonita, Faithful, Princess girls, children who have been raped and terrorized by people who are supposed to love them. Precious' story is fictional but it is not fantasy, there are girls all over the world who have stories that parallel this one. Literacy and information are directly linked to access and the ability to make decisions for oneself.

PUSH is a story of survival. It is a story of a girl who survives abuse, hatred, sizism, sexism, racism, classism, lack of health care, and miseducation. Precious believes abortion is a sin. Maybe if she had more information she would feel differently. Regardless, her choice to be a mother should be respected without judgment, just like another precious girl's choice to have an abortion should be respected.