Monday, September 26, 2011

Pregnant Abortioneers: We Still Love Babies

One of my co-workers is pregnant and in her third trimester. She happens to do ultrasounds and assist the doctor during abortions. I notice that sometimes, the women stare at her belly, then quickly glance at her face. It’s as though they’re confused and searching for an answer to, “You work here? But you’re pregnant. Are you judging me?”

I wish the women who were worried if our pregnant colleague was judging them, could have seen all of us when Veronica brought in her newborn. Everyone stopped working for a bit to swoon over this precious little bundle. It was a cacophony of estrogen swirling around, making music out of all our “ooohs” and all of our “ahhhhs.” Thing is, Veronica chose to continue her pregnancy, so we sang with delight. When a woman chooses to abort, we hum. We hold her hand while she may moan and we hum with warmth, compassion, and love.

I think it’s beautiful to see a pregnant woman working at the clinic. It’s the full circle. Nothing more perfectly shows how at different stages/places in our lives, we make different choices. We are women. Women who have had abortions, miscarriages, still births, babies…we’re women who have been infertile. We are amazing and we carry all those experiences within us. Sometimes, one woman has experienced all of what I just listed. Mothers have abortions. Single women have babies.

And, just on a side note: hopefully women see our pregnant staff and realize one more myth about abortion and abortioneers is squashed. We are not baby haters. Most of us adore babies and children. Some of us have even worked in child education. Many of us are mothers. We love babies. And we also honor your choice.


  1. While I was happily 7 1/2 months pregnant I assisted one of my best friends in facilitating her abortion.

    I shepherded her past the protestors and we both had to ignored the besieged screams of 'Don't kill your baby!' (I think they were screaming me but at the time it didn't matter.)

    They seemed to be appalled that although I was 7 1/2 months pregnant I was walking into a Planned Parenthood!

    Several protestors dropped to their knees in prayer when they saw I came back out still very pregnant.

    After I made sure she was fine and settled into the car, I went and spoke to the priest that was there protesting. At first they tried to give me baby clothes and diapers for 'sparing' my pregnancy until I explained my pregnancy was wanted and there had never been a plan to terminate it.

    I peaceably told them that they had distressed my friend a great deal and that their sidewalk vigils shouldn't include screaming at the patients because they would never know why they were there and that they shouldn't make assumptions about the women who were going into the PP.

    The conversation petered out after that but I think I made my point.

    The dichotomy of abortion versus motherhood is trite and misleading, it's also inaccurate and insensitive.

    Having an abortion doesn't mean we hate babies or that we do not want to be mothers (some of us, at some point anyway). Planning your family isn't about hate, it's about love; it's about the choices women make to properly plan her family.

    That's for posting this and letting me share.

  2. Dear Oubli,
    Thank you for taking the time to write your comment, for sharing with us. I think it's wonderful that you were able to defend your friend who had an abortion. It's a shame that you did in fact felt a need to, but unfortunately, it does seem to be the reality.

    I love your statement "the dichotomy of abortion versus motherhood is trite and misleading, it's also inaccurate and insensitive." Couldn't have said it better. And oh, so true. I'm glad you understand that and I'm sure that your friend was grateful to you on that day.


This is not a debate forum -- there are hundreds of other sites for that. This is a safe space for abortion care providers and one that respects the full spectrum of reproductive choices; comments that are not in that spirit will either wind up in the spam filter or languish in the moderation queue.