My heart needs a break from breaking

Have you been reading the news lately? I have, unfortunately. It feels as though current events have just been an unrelenting stream of examples of the horrors and cruelty that human beings are capable of inflicting on other human beings. Thanks, murderers and abusers and rapists and torturers, but we don't need more examples. We get it. You can stop now.

And in the last several hours I've done only two things: read about the latest awful case of kidnapping and almost-unspeakable abuse, the one in Cleveland, or stewed over it while unsuccessfully attempting to focus on other things.

But I'm here trying to write something because there's a part of me that's sure someone will ask. Or assume. How many hours or days til the half-witted comments hit, ones about how this is all because of the "culture of death" that abortion perpetuates? OR the ones asking why I "care" about this but "don't care" about the trial of Kermit Gosnell, a man who stands accused of killing babies and calling it abortion?

I ask because because it's so, so, so routine; these words have likely been uttered on several prominent anti-abortion blogs today. But I don't want to go find out.

Sometimes, despite being a super-famous internet celebrity (humble joke), and despite bearing the weighty mantle of spokesperson for ALL abortioneers and being asked for comments on ALL bad things that happen to babies or fetuses or embryos (angry joke), a person's got to have some time to themselves to deal with pain.

We often have stuff to say about things that show up in the news, but I'm not interested in being a ripped-from-the-headlines current events commentator. I just wanted to tell my truth, particularly in times when it wasn't represented elsewhere. But you're probably sickened and saddened too, and that's the truth for all of us.

Hypocrisy, Part Deux

So R.E.K. can keep her baby after all.

While pro-lifers are praising the decision and the young woman for their commitment to the lives of the unborn, groups like NARAL are praising them for their commitment to...


...wait for it...





















CHOICE.

Hypocrisy

I like to peruse news blogs when I'm procrastinating from work and other things I need to do. I happened upon this article today in a blog called austinist.

This article is about a teenager who is suing her parents because she says they are trying to force her to have an abortion. She says they are inflicting harassment upon her and will kick her out of the house if she keeps the pregnancy. Now, I am pro-choice. Choice being the key word. I think everyone should have the choice in what happens to their body and absolutely no one should be forced to have an abortion. That being said, the legal premise of this lawsuit confuses me. If she doesn't want an abortion, then she doesn't have one, right? If her parents are harassing her, then she should be taken out of the home. On top of that, she's being represented by a "Pro-Life" group, which makes me suspicious and think that they're taking advantage of this poor teenager who is obviously going through a lot of emotional turmoil right now.

By far my favorite part of this article is this quote.

'The Austin-based Texas Center for Defense of Life filed the lawsuit on the girl's behalf. President Greg Terra stated in a press release that federal law holds "that a teenage girl has the absolute legal right to make her reproductive choices. This includes the choice not to have an abortion, even against the strong coercion of the parents. If the girl lives in Texas and chooses life, then we will stand with her in a court in support of that choice."'

So the Texas Center for Defense of Life believes that she has the absolute legal right to make her reproductive choices? I guess only if it doesn't conflict with what they want.

Last Hope

The state of Mississippi has only one clinic, in Jackson, that only performs abortions until 16 weeks. If you didn't know, now you do. Sad, huh? Last year we had a victory in Mississippi defeating the personhood bill, but a new law, which requires the clinic to have hospital admitting privileges, has the clinic struggling to stay open. If they don't comply, and soon, the Jackson Women's Health Center could close for good. Definitely not smooth sailing in the Magnolia State.

Photographer Maisie Crow, on hearing the news, traveled to Jackson to document the awesome work that JWHC does for the pregnant folks of Mississippi. Have a look, and pray to keep JWHC open!

40 Years Young

Happy birthday to legal abortion!

If abortion was a human it would be considered *over the hill* by traditional celebratory standards. But abortion is not a human and the road to justice is ongoing, if not endless.

In fact, when the Abortioneers started this blog a few years ago, we were wee warriors with fresh hearts and brilliant dreams. Triumphs and defeats ebb and flow and every Abortioneer is still toiling for justice. Albeit, recognizing and executing the work/life balance that must transpire if one if to fight this fight until every last uterus is liberated. In other words, even when we are silent and the posts are lagging, the Abortioneers are Abortioneering.

Plus, we’re curious about you. What are you doing today, 40 years past the monumental Supreme Court decision, to celebrate legal abortion and/or to fight the good fight? Please share…

We’d also like to share this contribution to the ever-growing source of knowledge that is the internet: 

For Roe’s 40th, Physicians for Reproductive Choice and Health (PRCH), has released the video Voices of Choice online, in full, for the first time: http://www.prch.org/physicians-voices-voices-choice.

The 25-minute documentary, produced in 2003, provides firsthand accounts of the suffering before abortion was legalized, from doctors and advocates who helped as many women as they could obtain safe care before Roe v. Wade. Among those featured: Byllye Avery, Dr. Curtis Boyd, Dr. Eugene Glick (1929-2010), Dr. Mildred Hanson, and Reverend Howard Moody (1921-2012).

Voices of Choice also offers a look at where we were ten years ago, in 2003, through the eyes of Dr. George Tiller (1941-2009) and others.

Go forward and be merry (in spite of everything)…

*FACEPALM*

I really can't describe the way I feel about this without using cutesy internet jargon. I just wanna be like....

LINEMOUTH! :-|

Drycleaner puts "Choose Life" message on their...coathangers?

Making Headlines

Remember when this guy

And the award for Best Shit-Eating Grin goes to....

said this thing: There is no such thing as a medically necessary abortion, LOL.

He was laughed out of Abortionland. Perhaps more importantly, he was laughed out of the 8th district of the state of Illinois. Tammy Duckworth, FTW!

And not a moment too soon. Consider Ireland, where you can't get an abortion to save your life (LITERALLY). This story is blowing up all over, about a woman who was denied a life-saving abortion while suffering a miscarriage and septicemia. Because Ireland is a life-loving country, they made her wait until the fetus died naturally, by which time her infection had wreaked havoc on her body and, soon after, killed her.

I don't really have much to say. I am completely heartbroken and ENRAGED over this, but the only thing we can do is keep whack-jobs like Walsh and Akin and King out of office. We did a fairly good job last week, and hopefully we can continue to set a global example. Not that I think the US is exemplary in securing the right to choose, but I gotta say: thank goodness I'm not in Ireland.

Whee! Now Let's Get On With It.

via

Y'all, I am SO RELIEVED. My nerves thank you. Stupid Akin and Mourdock lost their stupid races, and so did stupid Romney. We get to keep expanded health insurance coverage (no pre-existing condition exclusions for me or Desembarazarme!) and copay-free contraception (my neighbor is looking into IUDs as we speak!), we sent many of the frightening rape apologists home, and we don't have to fear uber-conservatives being appointed to the Supreme Court in the next four years (the Arizona 18-week ban is rising through the appeals process right now, eek!).

Note I'm breathing a sigh of relief, not whooping for joy. To me this election represents a pause in the current onslaught -- a shutting-down (ha) of the presumption that anti-choice and anti-justice ideas have momentum -- but not progress in itself. Last night's votes did bring unexpected joy: we got to see several states protect marriage equality (Maine Maryland Minnesota Washington), one state elect the first openly-gay US senator ever (Tammy Baldwin in Wisconsin), and one state elect an all-woman Congressional delegation for the first time ever (New Hampshire). But when it comes to the overall status of reproductive justice, I'm still feeling tentative.

We haven't accomplished progress in one night, but maybe now we can forget about those clowns and their circus and get back to work. I don't want to get TOO excited (GOP-controlled House of Representatives) but maybe Obama really will push for some serious advances now, like progressives have hoped all along, feeling so frustrated. Maybe we'll find a way to expand health insurance to ALL people, maybe EC will be available over-the-counter for everyone (and regular oral contraceptive pills too, please!), maybe provider "conscience" will be taken seriously and will also protect those who conscientiously DO provide, and maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe we can combine all our strength and push someone to do something about the Hyde Amendment (update: hey look, Abortion Gang explains!).

It's time, right?

Now...does anyone want to email Barack?

Otherwise I'm just gonna copy/paste this blog post that I just spitballed, and you'll have the embarrassment of being represented by an email written with way too many parenthetical expressions and words in all-caps. The clock is ticking!

xoxoxoxoxoxo,
Placenta Sandwich

Plea from My Nerves on Election Day

Please vote, y'all. This brown woman's knuckles are turning white from the tension.

I don't even know if anyone DOESN'T vote because everyone on my facebook feed is already showing off their poll sticker and I'm feeling like a lazy ass for not having gotten to my station yet. (I'm heading there now!) But just in case anyone reading this was like "well, I dunno, maybe I won't bother this year because it's raining and the line is three hours long and I'm sure my district won't be swung one way or another by my vote," I'm writing this to implore you, do it anyway.

I was going to say, do it for me, but really won't you do it for us all?

Vote for the candidates and amendments and propositions and initiatives least likely to wreak havoc upon us -- upon our reproductive rights, of course, but not just that: also our access to health services, our ability to afford survival, our attempts to keep our families together and well-fed and well-educated and safe, and the respect we need from society to make our own choices in peace.

2011 and 2012 have been rough on this front; the years leading up to an election usually are. It would be easy to dismiss our politicians' hundreds of anti-choice bills of 2011 as transparent distractions from their daunting mandate to fix the economy...except for the actual damage these policies would do (or have started doing) to individuals, families and society. So we have had to play defense, and it sucks. How many times did we find ourselves "celebrating" with the chorus, "Hooray, we made a horrible bill slightly less horrible before it became law."

We're as tired of living on the defensive as you are. And the day after the election (or whenever the vote-counting dust settles) we'll be back, up and at 'em and energized to push forward for something positive.

Until then, please go to the polls and cast your vote to minimize today's potential damage.

BOO!

I enjoy Halloween. The kiddies, candy, the costumes (especially the punny and ironic ones). I like pumpkins, crisp Autumn leaves, and the occasional scare. I usually get a good laugh and reciprocate when the instigator least expects it.

But some things are too scary for me. When the first Paranormal Activity came out, on Halloween, I saw it and didn't sleep for days. Scares are fun when they're innocent, but when they mess with your mind it's simply not enjoyable. So I'm really not excited about the scares resulting from threats to abortion access. Read this story from HuffPo, about a woman in Idaho arrested for attempting a DIY abortion, and try not to react like this:

"Run girl, run!"

I'm getting really freaked out because this year's Halloween precedes the election that could make or break abortion access. We only have a week left!

Ugh, this movie kept me awake for at least a week. 

I say this to say 1) enjoy a safe and happy Halloween with childlike abandon, and 2) get out and vote for abortion access Nov 6, or earlier if your state allows. What if you get hit by lightening on Nov 6, or Hurricane Rizzo comes along?  Get it done!

Guest Post: An Abortion Love Story, Chapter II

Welcome back to Rebecca, a fellow abortioneer who’s agreed to spin us a MOTA (mates of the abortioneers) romance for the ages. You can go back here to read about how they first had "the A-word talk." When you're done with that, read on below for Chapter II, which in my head I've unofficially but fondly titled "My Husband Sleeps With One Eye Open."
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At first, C didn't really "get" the security factor at work. You know: the protesters. He's European and from a secular country; and he'd lived overseas for years. He wasn't aware abortion was such a contentious issue in the USA because it wasn't in his country. (I also think that because he’s a guy, he probably didn’t pay much attention.)

He was surprised to see all the protesters we'd get sometimes and how they'd harass clients. We were lucky at our clinic -- we didn't have TONS of protesters like many others did -- but he was still shocked to see them.

When we had more than the usual number of crazies out, I didn't like leaving my car at work. The protesters were taking pictures of our license plates; my car was registered to my home address. (I know, I know. Not smart!) I didn’t exactly feel like getting followed. I lived alone in a smallish city and my car was fairly easy to identify.

Early on in our relationship, the clinic was experiencing one of those big protester days, so I asked C picked me up from work so my car wasn't left in our car park all day. As we approached my vehicle, he dropped the car keys. I noticed he took a fraction of a second longer picking up the keys than I thought he would, and that made me a little twitchy. I wasn't sure why.

Later, when I was ranting about protesters, C told me he was concerned about my safety. And then he admitted he had dropped the car keys purposefully .

Why? With his diverse background, including a military history and working in war-torn countries, he had learned certain skills.  It was a trick they used in some of the places he'd been: they'd drop the keys, bend down to get them, and steal a glance under the car to see if there was a bomb.

A car bomb? I was a bit shocked. My first thought was, "That’s not necessary! Nothing like that would happen here!" Yet it was instinctual for him to check.

He explained how surreal it was for him to be so immediately, intimately, acutely impacted by my work: all because of protesters. Part of me was like, "Yeah, well, welcome to our world."

His reaction had been jarring, though. I usually didn't tell family/friends about protester activity or security threats. I didn't want to worry them. Really, I didn't want to deal with their worries on top of mine. They would've told me to quit. This was the first time I saw how security issues at the clinic directly affected someone I cared for. I wonder whether all abortioneers experience that, and how.

Throughout the years, C was vocal about his security concerns. Because of his experience, he didn't think my clinic always took those risks seriously enough. He’d often say he'd do things differently, or thought things like a better alarm system would be a smart move.

He criticized the clinic when they stopped having guards on clinic days, especially when protester activity increased. We lived in the Pacific Northwest where it's pretty normal to carry handguns. The clinic guards regularly pulled guns and knives off guys.

It was hard for me to listen without feeling defensive and thinking he wasn't critical, really, underneath it all, about abortion, about my job, about work that I loved.

I now understand that wasn't the case: he was just genuinely worried sometimes. Which is a shame. It's a shame we have to work in conditions, in the United States, where our family worries about us because of some crazies. Have you had similar experiences?

EXTRA, EXTRA!

Abortion Rates Plummet with Free Birth Control 

Guest Post: An Abortion Love Story

Please give a warm bloggy welcome to Rebecca, a fellow abortioneer who’s agreed to spin us a MOTA (mates of the abortioneers) romance for the ages. Consider this Chapter I of the story of Rebecca and her husband C. I can't wait to read more. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I can’t remember how I first told him I worked at an abortion clinic. We met online, which was sort-of new territory 10 years ago. I had this rule that I wouldn’t meet anyone in person unless they were pro-choice. We’d talk online and on the phone, I’d gauge how liberal they were, ask lots of leading questions, then pop the big one: “are you pro-choice?”

Even if a guy told me he was pro-choice, I’d still wonder how pro-choice he was. Wonder if he was pro-choice enough to handle me working at a clinic. So I’m sure C and I had an initial discussion about abortion, but I doubt I immediately told him I worked at the clinic.

Isn't it strange that I don't remember the first time I mentioned my abortion work to my husband? I must've told him very soon after meeting him, though, because he came home with me the first day we met...and I had clinic the following day! Ha.

Here’s something interesting. I just asked C if he remembered when I “outed” myself to him about working in a clinic. He doesn’t. He thinks that tells a lot about his feelings/thoughts about abortion: it wasn’t a big deal to him, he just admired the work.

He also wants me to point out that he wasn’t exactly a typical guy (that’s for sure!). He’s not American, and he had been doing overseas development work in emergency situations. So he was aware of the consequences of unsafe abortion in developing countries. Providing safe abortion, from his perspective, was a no-brainer. He remembers we did discuss my interest in women’s global rights and health, so that all tied in to the big abortion reveal convo…Which wasn’t a big deal after all.

So, C was traveling around the USA when we met. He had been on the Afghan/Pakistan border during 9/11 and got a little burned out from doing aid work. He wanted to be in a country with smooth pavement, clean water, and good food. Within a week of arriving in the States, he was hanging out at my house.

One evening, I came home from a long day at clinic, feeling exhausted. It was one of those days where you felt emotionally drained afterwards. Well, more than usual. We were having protester issues, to complicate matters. I couldn’t wait to open my apartment door, get a huge mug of tea, and fill up the bathtub. This was my ritual: soak in the bath for ages, read a book, then make phone calls from the tub and talk. I lived alone and it's how I relaxed after work, decompressed from work. How I tried to leave work at work.

So that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t stop to hang out, say hello, or have a chat with C. Just went straight into the bathroom to run the bath. C didn’t know me well enough to realize this was my usual routine. And I didn’t realize it needed explaining!

You can see where this is going.

C was left wondering if he had upset me, had overstayed his welcome – if I was sick of him being around. It made him very uncomfortable and he asked if I wanted him to leave!

That wasn’t the case at all, of course. But I realized I had to communicate about my needs, about how I had to take care of myself, especially after a really stressful clinic day. Obviously this work can be very stressful at times. I had to learn to become aware of my ways of taking care of myself and how they might impact my partner. That was new for me, and a first step in the gradual intertwining of our lives.

Army of One

In the wake of all this anti-woman sentiment that’s been blowing around the last few years, the public has started to take notice of the plight of enlisted women in the armed forces. Entrenched in a nearly all-male environment, women have been victims of discrimination and violence since they were first allowed to serve during WWII. Women have not been allowed to fight in combat with men; they do not receive coverage for abortion under military health plans, nor can they receive abortion services in military health facilities. Most egregiously, they are frequent targets of sexual  violence by officers and fellow enlistees. I take that back; the worst part of all is that complaints of sexual violence are rarely taken seriously, assuming a complaint is made in the first place. Most cases go unreported, for fear of retaliation or punishment. 

That’s right. In the US Armed Forces, you can be punished for being raped. It sounds like something that might happen somewhere far away, like the woman from Morocco who killed herself after being forced to marry her rapist. But nope. This is happening right here at home. It would surprise me, but little does these days. 

I first learned about this phenomenon a few years ago watching The Coathanger Project, in which a former soldier told her story of being dishonorably discharged for having sex and then attempting an abortion. More recently, I watched The Invisible War, a documentary about women enlistees (and some men) who were raped, even drugged and beaten, and received no help from those in charge. They were slut-shamed, victim-blamed, or plain told to suck it up. When a group of victims brought a lawsuit against the military for mistreatment of them and their cases, it was dismissed on the grounds that sexual assault is an occupational hazard of being enlisted. 

Gag me with a spoon. 

If you haven’t seen the film, DO. I can’t remember the last time  I was so angry, so if you’re interested in draining yourself emotionally it’ll do the trick. One issue that wasn’t addressed in the film was the what happened to those who became pregnant as a result of rape (which can happen!). As we know, you can’t get an abortion with military funds or in military facilities, so I’m sure those people have quite interesting (and horrific) stories to tell. But I suppose that would become a six hour movie. 

You know, I’ve gotten lots of flack in my life for not loving my country as I should. For threatening to move to Canada if Bush was elected. For not buying that the military has anything to do with protecting my freedom. For hating American flag  and “Support our Troops” bumper stickers. For questioning why our defense budget is out of this world but we can't feed the poor. For not identifying as a patriot, because being a patriot these days apparently means toting a gun, driving a big car, and popping off firecrackers in a South Carolina rest stop in a "USMC" t-shirt. But the reason I don't love my country as I should is because, call me crazy, I believe in an America where women are treated as equals. Where they can fight alongside their brothers without fear of incest. Where they can love their country so much that they'll die for it without feeling unsafe around the people who supposedly keep us safe. Support our troops? Not as long as they're raping our other troops.

 Look, I have lots of thoughts on this, but sadly I don't really know what I can do except stand together with victims and support reform in the military. I think some minor changes are happening (better moves than these god-awful posters, and these, and these), but I'm pessimistic that nothing will change on a large scale until misogynistic looneys are six feet under. I guess I just want to raise awareness, and give readers the opportunity to learn and pass on their learnings to others. Talk about it, make sure that people understand why this is such a problem. And pray not only for our troops, but for the sad, angry place this country has become in hopes of REAL security and freedom.