Dear America: It's Time to GROW UP

*had to do some digging to find out who Cristy Cardinal is. Cardinal works at HAVEN in Michigan, I think. This quote was picked up by The Nation, August 21st. Article here. Cardinal - we love your quote!*


Misogyny in this country is staring straight at us. Looking us in the eyes and slapping us across the face. It doesn't care there's an audience. It doesn't care that generations of women who have fought for reproductive freedom have just watched. It doesn't care that this 13 year old was raped by her step-father and is now pregnant. The misogyny in our country is THAT blatant. THAT rampant. That disgusting.

When you're slapped so hard, with such force, it's shocking. The magnitude of disregard for women is strong enough that I feel stung every time I read. Every time I turn on the TV. There's always a new slant. A new way to get us on our knees.

But misogyny forgets that we are strong. Misogyny thinks of himself with such ferocity, that it doesn't notice the rumbling in the once quiet audience. Women are starting to speak out.

Maybe they began to feel safer to do so after Obama promised women at the national BlogHer conference that he would not "give ground" on abortion. Maybe quiet women are realizing just how loud the hate is.

Whatever has prompted it, women are using their voices.

I read a beautifully written post here from a woman who had been raped at 17. The blogger shared this private information with her community, and was shaking in her boots doing it.

Another blogger bravely wrote her abortion story here.

I'm in awe of women being prompted to talk about their experiences. And I know our abortioneer community is grateful. Not to mention many other American women.

Women have the right to be outraged. At least one in three of us will have an abortion. That's a lot of us. So, lots of women should be outraged, really.

Women blogging on abortion is a good thing. It's a terrible thing that all the insensitive and flat-out-jaw-droppingly-stupid things politicians have been saying has occurred. For some, it's like being raped all over again.

No matter how you put it, all this hate being spewed is a violation. It crosses the line so far that you can't even SEE that line anymore.

That is jarring. And it's making some of us talk. But they're so scared. So worried about being judged. And they're worried because we live in a society that shuts women up.

This society makes us think we can't use our voice, lest we are shunned and bad and wrong and selfish or a whore or had it coming to us. Or worse: that our bodies can shut off what we had coming to us.

Our society needs to change.

Our society needs to grow the fuck up and starting showing its humanity.

We love YOU!

That picture's funny, right? Come on. If you work at a clinic, you totally know WHY that's funny!


Oh, there's soooo much shit going on out there right now, isn't there? Are you getting depressed about it all? I sure as fuck am.

What the HELL is going on in this country, huh?

Well, if you're anything like me, you need a laugh. Especially now. Especially because there are so many damned idiotic politicians making stupid assed comments. (And worse, believing them.)

Because we love you and you're our biggest fan, we want you to take a minute and relax. Yes, that's it. Take a deep breath. Take a moment for yourself.

Relaxed?

Good.

Now. Let's have a little laugh.

This is my favorite. Every time I buy Prego, I think of this:

I used this one back in January, but January was a loonnnnnnng time ago. So here it is again.

Funny, right?


Feel better? At least a little?

OK, GOOD!

Try to have a good day, all ye fellow Abortioneers.

We love you. (It's true!!)

Give yourself a BIG pat on your back. You deserve it. You're AWESOME!

Now.
GO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

When is enough enough?

I remember back in 2008 when some reporter dared to ask Sarah Palin if she was a feminist. I'm pretty sure she said yes, and came up with some jibber-jabber about how just because she's anti-choice doesn't means she's anti-woman, and how the Republican party can actually become the Party for Women.* I think around the same time, John McCain's heavily made-up daughter made a similar plea for women to look to the Republicans to fulfill all their womanly needs and desires. For a while it had seemed, for better or for worse (and likely for the worse), that Republicans wanted to reach out to women and improve their lives. Yes we (Republi)Can!

Fast forward four years, and I can't believe my freaking ears with all this hateful, anti-woman speak being tossed around. And I find it hard to believe that Todd Akin, Steve King, and others are simply so bad at politics that they can't control their verbal diarrhea. I think these people REALLY BELIEVE the nonsense they're promulgating, and it frightens me. I'm scared to think that if I were raped and went to my local congressman he might tell me one of the following: a) I wasn't "legitimately" or "forcibly" raped; b) I can't have an abortion in the event that I become pregnant; c) but don't worry, because when a woman is raped her body has mechanisms to "shut that whole thing down". Maybe I could at least take my story to King, who has never heard of a person getting pregnant through rape, because he's "open to discussion" about that kind of thing. WHAT'S TO DISCUSS?!?!?!

So, I remain thoroughly unconvinced that the Repubs are a party in any way responsive to the needs of women. When you try to tell someone about one of the most serious issues affecting women since the beginning of time, and they don't believe you, then we're dealing with some serious troublemakers. I can't believe any woman would be a Republican after this. All kinds of women get raped, regardless of political affiliation. I hope the women on the right are doing something about this, because the men sure seem not to give a damn who does what to you. I can't believe they're driving me to this point, but I'm starting to wish these neanderthals would face assault. Maybe not "legitimate rape", but just a good fondle would drive the point home of how horrible it is, even without having to deal with the whole pregnancy thing. 

Oh wait, that doesn't actually happen. NM.  

*Now that I think about it, SP did charge women for their rape kits in Alaska, right? 

Sex Selection

Are there ever times you feel a little – uncomfortable – with a woman’s reason for having an abortion? We’re not all Saints of Non-judgment, though some of us may strive to be. (Err…maybe some of us don’t…)

Last week, a recent immigrant from an Asian country (I won’t say which) came to our clinic for an abortion. I was the abortion counselor that day. She was in her second trimester and wanted to know if we could figure out the sex of the fetus. This isn’t a completely strange question, but I don’t get asked that often.

Because she was less than 18 weeks and because we don’t perform diagnostic ultrasounds, I explained we wouldn’t be able to identify the sex. I let her know that usually diagnostic ultrasounds to determine the sex are done between 18-22 weeks and that if she had a physician/midwife, she could schedule an ultrasound with them at that time (as it is standard practice).

She wasn’t willing to wait at least another month to have an abortion. You know the drill: she’d have to travel out of state; the cost would be much higher; she’d have to spend time away from home; someone would have to watch her small daughter while she left the area (and explain why she needed a babysitter); and her husband would have to get a lot of time off work.

We don’t ask patients why they want to have an abortion. Really, it’s none of our business. Still, lots of women offer their reasons when we ask if they’re sure of their decision, if they have support, etc.

The woman from last week calmly offered she didn’t want to have a girl.

Look, I’m about as pro-choice as they come. As long as it is a patient’s own decision to have an abortion, I’m cool with it regardless of the circumstances or gestation. I’ll admit though, it took me a slight second to register what the patient was telling me. My brain hitched.

I nodded at her and she explained herself, though she didn’t owe me any explanation at all.

In her country (like in many), girls do not have as many opportunities as boys and are considered a burden. She and her family plan to go back to their country soon and they wouldn’t be able to afford another girl (it costs a lot of money to have girls marry/dowries).

There’s been some national controversy about this (like, in May); even the pro-choicers didn’t want to really talk about sex selection abortion occurring. The reality is, though: it does. It’s not very common in our country, and I’ve never heard anyone – except someone who is from an Asian country – even mention it, at work. And I’ve been doing abortion work a long time.

The concept seems very foreign to us; but, is it really? Globally, there is underlying sexism that drives the devaluation of women. It happens here, too. Please, how many people have raised their hands saying women in this country don’t deserve to be paid equally to men? (Rolling eyes.)

It was a good reminder for me that we’re here to support women, in whatever it is they want, and trust that they know what they need for themselves, even if we may not understand it. We don’t need to understand. We just need to be there.

Meet Paul Ryan, Or, Sound the Alarm Bell

If you haven’t heard yet, Mitt Romney has selected his running mate: Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan. He is a great choice - if you’re wealthy, white, and male. Otherwise, fuggettahhbouttit.

 Let’s review some key facts about Paul Ryan as they relate to his views on women.

• He co-sponsored a bill, the Sanctity of Human Life Act, which defined a fertilized egg has a human being. If this horrible piece of legislation passed, it would criminalize most forms of birth control, including the pill and in vitro fertilization. 
• He supports banning all abortions for everyone. No exceptions for any woman or situation. Doesn't matter if the mother will die, if the mother is 13 and was raped by her father, if the fetus has terrible anomalies would only live a few painful minutes. He doesn't care.
• He voted for the Protect Life Act, which would allow hospitals to deny abortion care to women who would die otherwise. 
• He voted to ban federal health coverage from including abortion. 
• He supported the Religious Freedom Tax Repeal Act, which would allow employers to question women about what birth control they use and why, and to deny them coverage for birth control if they feel like.
• He voted to provide funding to health care providers who do NOT provide information about abortion.
• He has expressed support for states to prosecute women who have abortions as well as the physicians who provide the abortions. 
• He voted against family planning information in US aid abroad. 
• Like Romney, he wants to defund Planned Parenthood, which as we all know, is an important place for women and men to seek STD testing/treatment, breast, cervical, and testicular cancer screenings, birth control, etc.
• He voted against the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. So basically he doesn’t believe women deserve equal pay for equal work. 
• He authored a budget that would dismantle many government assistance programs, like food stamps, which women and children disproportionately rely on.

But really, I should just let him speak for himself:

“I’m as pro-life as a person gets . . . You’re not going to have a truce. Judges are going to come up. Issues come up, they’re unavoidable, and I’m never going to not vote pro-life.”

!!! Okay then. Since there's no "trucing" on women's rights issues, the only thing that we can hope for is that Ryan's extreme views will turn off moderate Republicans, independents, and all women everywhere. (Besides the fact he is completely unsupportive of gays, minorities, students, seniors, the environment, etc.)

Paul Ryan: I do not like him.

First Impressions

Can someone please come up with a "Tripadvisor" for abortion clinics? Who wouldn't want to rate their clinic experience? It would be cool, in an ideal world, if women felt safe enough to "rate" their experience. (Check out Abortion Care Network's Advice on choosing a clinic.)

- Were the staff friendly on the phone and in person?
- Was the doctor warm?
- Was it efficient and informative?
- Was it in a good location?
- Was the clinic clean?
- How was the website?
- What did you like and dislike?

First impressions count. They count when your clients call your clinic or your abortion fund. They are listening for something. Anything. Any detection that the person on the other end of the phone might judge them. She's trying to decide if you're the right place for her.

Abortion is riddled with stigma. People think of back alley abortions and dirty instruments. If your clinic is in a bad neighborhood, needs a paint job, and your staff aren't warm and professional (maybe they answer their phone too quickly and sound apathetic), it just adds to the nasty abortion stigma. On the other hand, if you have a modern, clean facility out-of-reach from hassling protesters, affordable prices, and kind staff, you're rockin' it. Right?

Women don't share their abortion experiences, but it would make a difference, I think, for women to weigh-in and provide online referrals. I use all sorts of websites like Yelp! that help me determine whether I want to go to a certain restaurant or not. Do I want someone's opinion on the abortion clinic they went to? Yes, please.

Bad Freaking News, with helpful annotations

AZ Abortion Law to Take Effect After Judge's Ruling
Mon, Jul 30 2012, Reuters

Arizona's law banning abortions after 20 weeks will go forward, says U.S. District Judge James Teilborg.

The law is a change from the current system in Arizona. Under the previous law, abortions were permitted up until viability which occurs around 24 weeks. Starting Thursday, abortions after 20 weeks will not be allowed unless there is a medical emergency.

Judge Teilborg was asked to stop enforcement of a new Arizona law passed by the legislature. He declined to do so by ruling that the law is acceptable under the Constitution.

Arizona is not the first state to ban abortions around 20 weeks but it's still a tricky decision, legally speaking, for a state to ban abortions before viability. The Judge acknowledged that the Supreme Court has blocked states from implementing outright bans on abortion before viability as an unfair burden [but he says that] the Arizona law is acceptable in part because it doesn't impose much of a burden on a pregnant woman.

His reasoning is that there is relatively little time between 20 weeks and the 22-24 weeks when viability occurs,[1][2] according to Arizona Daily Star.

Part of the burden on women in pre-viability abortions is that they may not know of fetal abnormalities before that time. The evidence presented to Judge Teilborg indicated that there are few conditions that would be diagnosed after 20 weeks that could not have been diagnosed earlier.[3] As a result, banning abortions after 20 weeks would not significantly increase the burden on the woman.[4]

He did note that if a unique circumstance arose where fetal abnormality was diagnosed after the first 20 weeks, it would be appropriate to challenge Arizona's abortion law.[5][6] But until that actually happens, the typical situation will dictate the constitutionality of the law.

To uphold a restriction on abortion, the state must also show a legitimate reason for the new restriction. Teilborg was convinced that the state's respect for life[7] and concern for preventing fetal pain[8] was a sufficient concern to justify the law, reports Arizona Daily Star.

Arizona's new abortion law is not the first of its kind, although it may be the first law banning abortions after 20 weeks to be challenged in federal court, reports Reuters. The plaintiffs had not filed an appeal as of Monday.

Footnotes, placenta sandwich 08/01/12:

[1] More like 24-26 weeks; it would be ludicrous to use 22 weeks as a general theoretical threshold for viability, even in a high-tech, high-cost US hospital context.


[2] (Also, how is 4 weeks just a "little time" to be cutting off? Is it really? What did he base this on? Has he experienced a crisis pregnancy before? I'm honestly curious what makes a person decide this rather than something else. Because for every person talking about banning later abortions who calls 4 weeks "relatively little time" [as in, "I don't really understand your life, but a couple weeks' less time is not a big deal, just get to the clinic earlier"], there's another person talking about banning later abortions who calls 4 weeks "plenty of time" to find out you're pregnant, decide what you're going to do, and seek out the necessary care [as in, "I don't really understand reproductive biology, but you're already 8 weeks pregnant, what took you 8 whole weeks to get an abortion?"]. Somehow, they're both wrong.)


[3] I don't know what evidence this refers to, as there is plenty of time past 20 weeks for plenty of fetal development to go wrong, and it does.


[4] Few conditions are undetectable before 20 weeks, and "as a result" it wouldn't be burdensome to ban abortion after 20 weeks? Wow, so many people are erased in that one little phrase. Including women who are seeking later abortions for reasons other than fetal anomaly.


[5] Sad but true. Assuming this ruling isn't overturned, the last hope for people needing abortion care in Arizona is for an already-pregnant person to be adversely affected by this ban and have the means to bring their specific case to court. Of course, as in Roe v. Wade, the individual adversely affected will be well past their pregnancy by the time of the court's decision -- which sometimes results in a judge saying that the claimant is no longer affected and thus no longer has standing! Isn't this the original meaning of "Catch 22"?


[6] But also, why is it that the only person hypothesized to have standing as an adversely-affected party is a woman whose pregnancy was diagnosed with a fetal anomaly after 20 weeks? What about those who face other kinds of situations and obstacles in obtaining their abortion care before 20 weeks (see footnote [3])?


[7] Not WOMEN'S lives, silly!


[8] We don't know when a fetus is capable of experiencing pain, but it's definitely not at 20 weeks. In fact, it's not anytime before 27 weeks and it may be even later. This is the general consensus of embryologists, neonatologists, neurologists and other people knowledgeable about the development of the nervous system.

Got the hots for choice

There had been some talk among Abortioneers in the past about dating and relationships, and how an anti-choice position would be a dealbreaker among potential mates. This then led to the imagining of a pro-choice dating service, where pro-choice folks can meet each other and fall hopelessly in love (or just hook up, whatever), without having to have the awkward conversation about "what you do" which may then lead to another awkward conversation, at the end of which you get dumped and stuck with the bill.

The horror!

Fear not, lovers of dudes, because I've found some prospectives who just might get your juices flowing!  I'd also like to hear some love from our dude readers out there, who aren't afraid to say "Yo, what's up with all these injustices toward women and reproductive freedom?"

Thanks, dudes! (Oh yeah, and RG)

So You Want to Be an Abortioneer

So, you’re thinking of becoming an Abortioneer. Yay! There is no shortage of Abotioneers, so you’ve come to the right place.
With all jobs, there are pros and cons. Abortioneering is no exception. Here’s a list of some potentially negative things to consider if you want to be an Abortioneer.


1. What should you say when people ask you where you work? I believe there is no right or wrong answer to this question, and that you may likely find yourself varying your answer depending on circumstances. Abortion is highly stigmatized. Depending on your geographic location and your own community, you may or may not feel comfortable stating where you work and what exactly your job entails. Check this out. And another.



2. Abortion is riddled with stigma. This impacts LOTS of things (could be multiple blogs in and of itself), including how people respond/react to abortion, which means it will impact you. Be aware of this. Even people you think are liberal may not be pro-choice; people you consider – or consider themselves – to be conservative may be. This might impact the way you talk about your daily life; for example, while an accountant may be able to talk about her day at work to most anyone in a social situation, you may not feel that you can without potentially being harassed (or even violating HIPAA). Here are some previous blog posts about talking to others about your work. This. And this one. And this. And yet another. (You can see we write about this a lot.)



3. Abortioneering can be isolating at times. (I could write several blogs about this topic alone.) Stigma plays into this, causing many abortioneers to feel somewhat guarded about their work lives. In an unhealthy (but probably not-so-uncommon) situation, some abortioneers may even feel a bit cut off from their communities, families, friends and stay safely within Abortioneering circles. (There are many reasons this could easily occur – but they require another post!) It’s up to you to come up with strategies to keep involved in your community. We all need support. Which brings us to…



4. Support. You'll need it. Consider ways to get the support. Having friends, family, and co-workers you can talk to helps immensely. If key family members and friends are not supportive of your decision to become an Abortioneer, you may be in for a bumpy road. Compile strategies on how to deal with this in healthy ways. Abortioneers are amazing people. You’ll probably be drawn to them. You’ll have common interests, they’ll understand what you’re going through, and you can talk about your day with them. They “get it.” And there’s a beautiful community out there waiting for you, filled with passionate, caring people. Still, try to strike a balance between your abortion world friends and your non-abortion world friends so you keep a foot in your own community (even though, it will be strange to navigate this at first). Here are some posts we're written on support, or calling on the need for it. And here.



5. Work for an organization that encourages its employees to support one another. Sounds obvious, but I would try to suss out if they really do support their employees (in the ways their employees want/need). It might be best to know someone you can talk to who works for the organization to see how their organization supports them. It may be more difficult for some employers to breed a culture of support nowadays. In this economy, many clinics and organizations have had to reduce their staff. That means fewer people working harder and smarter. That also means there is less time during work to seek out support from co-workers. I would argue that it would benefit you to find the ones that do their best under the circumstances. (This could mean: happy hours; occasional lunches; debriefing meetings; whatever.) I have a friend who used to work at a clinic and they would write down all the funny things their co-workers said. At a bi-weekly meeting, they’d start off by reading out all the funnies. This helped lift spirits and encourage a spirit of teamwork.



6. Work/life balance. Abortion is intense. Talking to a 13 year old who was raped and now wants an abortion is intense. Many abortioneers are motivated to make a difference in others’ lives. That commonly means you’ll focus on the women you serve throughout your day. This is an absolutely amazing, special, and rewarding part of Abortioneering. It’s where all the magic happens. It can also take its toll if you don’t take care of yourself. Take your lunch. Take your breaks. When things feel especially intense at work, step outside. Go to the restroom and take deep breaths if you have to. You will most likely need ways to decompress after work as well. Try not to take your work home with you. (Literally and figuratively. This is difficult to do.) When I was single, I would go straight home, get a glass of red wine, grab a great book, and soak in the bath. Now that I have children, I decompress in the car, en route to picking them up from school. I blare music, chat with my friends on the phone, nip into a little shop. Whatever. When I get home, I focus on my family and, late in the evening, I make an effort to do something just for me. Here's a post about that.



7. Security. Ever so sadly and infuriating, the safety of the facility where you work, the safety of your doctors, your co-workers, and yourself is at risk. I hate even having to type that. But it is true. Depending on where you live, the risk might be lower. I know a handful of people who have been followed. It’s not uncommon for anti protesters to take photographs of staff. They might even write down your license plate number. US Marshals recommend clinic workers register their cars to a PO Box or to their place of work, not to their homes. It may be disarming to see the doctor wear a bullet proof vest. Depending on where you work – and honestly, at any abortioneering job they should be talking about this – you might be advised to stay alert at all times, walk out of work in pairs (at least), change your route home on a regular basis. This began to impact me more deeply after I had my children. I didn’t want some psycho following me home to my two kids. Consider your safety. Look around at the facility where you’re working: do they take security seriously? If it’s a clinic, there should probably be, at minimum, security cameras, bullet-proof windows, alarm systems, etc. Here are some posts about safety and security. And here. And a last one.



Hopefully these ideas help a bit. Ask away if you have questions! Good luck in your Abortioneering job search. It really is an amazing sector to work in.

The Great Macy's Fourth of July Abortion Sale: Get 'em while you can! (offer valid only in Mississippi until 7/11/2012)

This is actually a breadline, not a bank run or a premodern Black Friday. But when I thought about it, the breadline matched the vibe of the clinic waiting room better than those. People are there -- with their spouse, mom, kid, infant -- because they really need to be. 

So...

Remember my last post, where I was kinda sick and tired of legislators playing doctor (and not in the sexy way) (but also, is playing doctor actually sexy to anyone?), and I was writing about the last abortion clinic in Mississippi being legislated out of existence, and about Rep. Bubba Carpenter, and how he was talking in what I imagine is a too-bad-so-sad wah-wah voice about how the other side talks way too much about "some poor pitiful women" who might risk their health and lives trying to end their pregnancies by any means available, and I think I might have blacked out shortly after that as an internal defense mechanism?

Yeah, I know: oof. But let's talk about Mississippi some more!

So the bill passed and was signed by the governor and its stipulations include that abortion providers must have hospital admitting privileges -- something Bubba Carpenter noted was notoriously difficult for anyone to obtain, not just abortion providers -- and that means that this last clinic in Mississippi, which has not been able to secure admitting privileges, will have to close. But then, since as Bubba Carpenter noted this law is not trying that hard to be constitutional, a judge stayed the new law until a court hearing planned for July 11 -- giving the clinic a reprieve of, uh, about a week.

And here's something that interests me as an abortioneer.

But it has also created a rush of women from across Mississippi wanting to have abortions. The clinic's three doctors normally perform about 40 abortions a week, but received more than 100 calls in one day last week from women trying to schedule appointments. Two of the doctors live out of state and will fly in to perform abortions this week, said Diane Derzis, the clinic owner.

"What women are hearing is, You may not be able to have an abortion soon," she said. "If you're pregnant and you don’t want to be, you’re thinking, 'By God, I've got to get in there fast.'"

Seems kind of weird, doesn't it? Like a run on the banks, as my arm candy quipped. You'd think that the need for abortion care is pretty much static over the course of a year, since pregnancy can occur in any season and any abortion clinic is the potential provider for at least several million people of reproductive capacity. But demand for services really does seem to have a certain flux to it. While I can't remember hearing of a run on the clinics (though I guess it's not hard to understand), I have noticed other ups and downs and maybe patterns.

I've mentioned before that I had many clients who were able to finally secure their abortion care when their tax refund came back -- and even some who specifically filed early in order to make sure they raised enough money before they reached 12 weeks when the fee would start progressively increasing. Those patients were very resourceful and very on top of it. And I sympathized with their certainty that they made little enough to be owed a refund -- my full-time job qualified me for both a tax refund and assistance from an emergency abortion fund should I ever need it.

But demand also seems to drop on holidays, especially big ones. It's hard to seek an appointment while hosting extended family, driving to grandma's, juggling your parents' or grown children's multiple Thanksgivings after a divorce, entertaining your school-aged kids at home, or arguing with your teenager about sharing the family car over winter break. You don't have as much privacy, time, or energy for taking care of yourself. Shit's hectic.

Then, weeks after a holiday, demand bounces back to levels even higher than before. Phones ring off the hook at the emergency abortion fund, they ring all day although you have multiple phone lines and someone answering every line. Same thing happening at the clinic, which is also jam-packed with people -- you have to bring more chairs into the waiting room -- and clients want to know what is the point of making an appointment if you still have to wait all damn day. (The answer is you struggle with turning people away from care, and wish there was such a thing as walk-in care, but in your state there's a law requiring advance appointments so pregnant people can take time to "cool off" and think hard about their impulsive and flighty decisions. As Sarah Silverman says, maybe they're not as hungry as they think they are.)

I say "weeks" after a holiday but we'd often remark that it seemed to be about four to six weeks after a holiday. Kind of joking, because that's how long it takes from fertilization (four) or last normal menstrual period (six) to the earliest point in pregnancy that most clinics are able to offer abortion care. Kind of not joking, because it really happened. At least three years I noticed that after a December-January lull, we'd have the most insane February and March. That's the time of year that I first became an abortioneer, actually. At first I thought that was just how it was -- that we'd have 100 appointments per day forever. (On the plus side, a lot of those were double-bookings or ambivalent patients who ended up going to another clinic for prenatal or abortion care. We didn't actually check that many patients in per day.)

I could surmise that stereotypically hectic and overburdened times (Thanksgiving/Christmas) or stereotypically romantic times (New Year's/Valentine's) or stereotypically hedonistic times (spring break, New Year's again) lead to unintended pregnancy. And surely the delaying of one's own needs during family-heavy holidays would explain part of the resurgence of appointment requests afterward. But I don't really know and I don't think there's any way to find out on a large scale. It'd be interesting, though, to ask individual women to recount the story of what prompted them to seek abortion care when they did, and why. If only such questions weren't so politically loaded, so likely to suggest there's a right and a wrong answer, maybe we'd hear a lot of honest and interesting stories.

Some days I can't bear to look

I know I haven't been around much. Frankly, keeping up with the insane and nonstop political assaults on abortion and related care has been nearly too much to bear. You'd think I'd be writing nonstop, because SO MANY FEELINGS, but at times the feelings kinda drain my emotional energy. I know some of my co-bloggers have been feeling that same drain, lately, in various ways -- and I bet fellow abortioneers in the field have, too.

So it seems almost futile to single out one law and one group of politicians. But if any law has earned that, I guess it'd be the latest restriction out of the magnolia state. Mississippi, come on down!

Maybe you've heard? The lawmakers who passed Mississippi's House Bill 1390, while claiming to be motivated by a desire to protect women from dangerous abortion providers, are also cheering the fact that the bill will have the effect of shutting down the only existing legal abortion provider in the state.

Sen. Kenny Wayne Jones (D-Canton) asked Sen. Dean Kirby (R-Pearl), who chairs the Senate Public Health Committee*, whether ending abortions in the state would force women to resort to dangerous, back-alley abortions.

"That's what we're trying to stop here, the coat-hanger abortions," Kirby replied, in reference to the abortions provided at the clinic in Jackson. "The purpose of this bill is to stop back-room abortions."

*I would also like to call your attention to the fact that Sen. Dean Kirby chairs the Senate Public Health Committee. Presumably, that is a Senate committee on public health. But maybe it's...a Senate committee against public health? I guess the title isn't super specific.

Oh, speaking of the Legislative Brotherhood Against Public Health, see also the breathtakingly cavalier Rep. Bubba Carpenter announcing afterward:

"We have literally stopped abortion in the state of Mississippi. Three blocks from the Capitol sits the only abortion clinic in the state of Mississippi. A bill was drafted. It said, if you would perform an abortion in the state of Mississippi, you must be a certified OB/GYN and you must have admitting privileges to a hospital. Anybody here in the medical field knows how hard it is to get admitting privileges to a hospital.

"It's going to be challenged, of course, in the Supreme Court and all -- but literally, we stopped abortion in the state of Mississippi, legally, without having to-- Roe vs. Wade. So we've done that. I was proud of it. The governor signed it into law. And of course, there you have the other side. They're like, 'Well, the poor pitiful women that can't afford to go out of state are just going to start doing them at home with a coat hanger.' That's what we've heard over and over and over.

But hey, you have to have moral values."

Wow. Was that a sneer I just heard? And then...a shrug?

He has a point, right? Sure there might be some poor pitiful women who can't afford to go out of state for their medical care and end up injured or dead using coat hangers and home remedies -- but aren't we pro-choice people (the other side) just talking about those women to score political points? I mean, why else would you bother talking about them? We say it over and over and over because we don't have better talking points, I guess. But hey! Those deaths are so trivial we can mock them and the people who talk about them.

(Later, Rep. Carpenter also shrugged off his coat hanger 'quote' as "just some language that some of the African-Americans used.")

(You thought I made up that last bit, didn't you? But no. He really did. I mean, it sounds like he's saying that therefore those accounts amount to nothing worth examining? But hey! That's okay, because African-American women (and other black women, and other women of color) definitely don't have even more experience with unsafe abortion than white women.)

Gosh, wonder why I feel so tired?

U.iS.crAy

 

This. 

Incidentally, Paul's namesake, Ayn Rand, is pro-choice. For all the wrong reasons of course, but I'm not one to split hairs.  

On the brink of our nation's birthday, I'm really hoping our elected officials can stop and recognize what's really important: not being douchebags.

(Image courtesy of Planned Parenthood w00t!)

Wanna see something weird?

http://www.theatlanticcities.com/politics/2012/06/geography-abortion/1711/

Hey look, a bunch of heat maps of abortion stats in the US! The above shows abortion rates in each state. Right off the bat, I can tell that states with the highest abortion rates are some of those where Medicaid covers the cost of the procedure. Yay, Medicaid!

Now here's one that got to me. In our last post we commemorated Dr. George Tiller, who was murdered in 2009 in Wichita, Kansas. Well, check out this map:

Kansas used to have one of the highest rates of out-of-state abortions in this country, second only to DC (48.4% and 54.3%, respectively). This data is from 2008, before Dr. Tiller's clinic was permanently closed. Dr. Tiller had a serious nationwide impact on women's reproductive rights. People traveled far and wide, and at great expense, to receive his care. And now what? I'd be curious to see another heat map in five years about rates of life-suckiness as a result of his loss.

In case it hasn't been said enough, we miss you Dr. Tiller!
 

An anniversary of a loss

Somehow it's already May 31 again. It's my sibling's twentieth birthday, and it's the third anniversary of Dr. George Tiller's murder by a "pro-life" gunman. It'd be hard to forget this day.

More than one of my colleagues have told me that brilliant blue-sky almost-summer days still remind them of the afternoon we learned Dr. Tiller was gone. It was a Sunday, the Sunday after Memorial Day, and every Memorial Day since then I've thought about Dr. Tiller, who was an Air Force pilot, but who lost his life decades later for being a doctor. "Our veterans died so you could have those freedoms." Except, for once, it's true.

It'd be hard to forget this day, but it's also difficult to remember it. Remembering sets me to wondering how many more years we'll remember to honor Dr. Tiller, and also whether anyone outside abortionland remembers anymore, or cares.

Remember? Remember how our president gave speeches shortly thereafter about finding "common ground" on abortion? Don't you wonder where, exactly, that common ground is? Is it on "Let's come to a compromise on how many healthcare providers you assassinate per year"? In the wake of a Southern string of 3 targeted burglaries at clinics and 3 women's health buildings set aflame (some of which don't even provide abortion care), wouldn't you really like to know what common ground looks like? "Let's agree that no one likes fires in the summer; you could at least save arson for the winter months"?

Where's a libertarian declaring "Those who would trade liberty for security..." when you could actually use one?

Dr. Tiller didn't fuck around like that. They massed outside his office, and he had a huge sign printed: "Women need abortions, and I'm going to provide them." No mincing, no equivocating, and no compromising his patients' care. He went to work every day to protect women's freedoms. Someone shot him in both arms, and he went back to work the next day. He had a gate at the clinic and wore a bulletproof vest -- but his murderer shot him in the head, at church. As you know, freedom ain't free, and that's why we as a society support our abortion providers LOL naw jk that would be crazy.

My little coat hanger

I wear a little coat hanger pendant because I support abortion rights. The coat hanger represents a dark time in history during which pregnant people who did not want to be pregnant - and I mean really, REALLY did not want to be pregnant - resorted to painful and dangerous means to terminate their pregnancies. These included: drinking strange herbal concoctions, introducing chemicals into the vagina, intentionally falling down stairs or receiving punches to the stomach, and penetrating the uterus with coat hangers. I'm not sure that the coat hanger was the preferred method of self-induced abortion or if it was even that common, but it was gruesome. I mean, can you even imagine? Your cervix gets the heebie-jeebies from a mere cotton swab! So when we invoke the coat hanger, it's intended to a) scare the crap out of you so you don't forget what it's like when abortion is inaccessible, and b) remember the suffering and the sacrifice of those people who died for the opportunity to control their fertility. If I were one for blasphemy, I'd say it's the pro-choice equivalent of a crucifix.

I generally don't wield symbols. I have no tattoos, few bumper stickers, and even fewer politically motivated T-shirts. However, those that I do rock are all pro-choice. It's what I believe in. It's my religion. It's not one of the Big Three, but we've got a very strong following (1 in 3 women, in fact). Often, when others see my little coat hanger pendant, we have a private conversation. I guess it's akin to what members of other secret societies have when they discover one another:

"What's with the coat hanger?" [barely perceptible eyebrow raise]
"It's a pro-choice symbol." [nod of affirmation]
"Aaaaahhhhhhh...." [slight up-turning of the lip]

There's the odd blissful ignoramus:

"What a cute little coat hanger! Is that because you like fashion?"

I cringe a little, and imagine that 40 years ago someone's couture ended up on the floor because its hanger had a greater purpose. (I instantly forgive the offense though, recalling my own stupidity in telling a girl one sunny Ash Wednesday that she had a little schmutz). I can't blame them. It's a nice place to be at. I used to be ignorant once, and I lived a pretty happy life. But now that I'm here and can never turn back, I pay homage and I wear my little coat hanger. And I hope to receive many more winks and head nods and acknowledgments that our secret society is not, in fact, so secret after all. 

Pregnancy Poetics

Whether you believe in science, poetics, magic, or fetuses, this podcast will fascinate. Highlighting what every Abortioneer already knows: every day is mother's day.

From an abortioneer and mother, on Mother's Day

At last count, 61% of women accessing abortion care in the US have given birth one or more times. (It's unclear whether the proportion has shifted lately due to the ongoing suckage of the economy, and if so, in what direction.)

Nancy Stanwood, an OB/GYN who sees women through all kinds of pregnancies (whether those are healthy or high-risk, whether they will end with abortion or miscarriage or stillbirth or live birth), has written a post for Mother Jones that describes the mothering decisions her patients have made in seeking abortion care. Here's a taste:

I became a mother seven months ago. By giving birth, I feel I made a solemn promise. I will be responsible for the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of this beautiful little creature for the next 18 years and beyond. I will put her needs first, I will always think about her welfare, I will make sacrifices for her.

This is the promise we celebrate on Mother's Day. Many women keep this promise by having abortions.

Right on. I hope you'll go read the whole thing, as it's not too long and plenty powerful: In the Shadow of Mother's Day.

Guest post: TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUNDS! Or How We Missed the Real Story in Virginia

If you work in any field related to abortion, you probably remember that our so-called "win" in the battle over Virginia's ultrasound bill was actually somewhat horrifying. But Amy Littlefield's telling of that story is among the best I've seen, so and she's graciously shared it with us here. You can also catch the original at her beautiful new site for the Provider Project.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUNDS! Or How We Missed the Real Story in Virginia


To demonstrate why we need stories from abortion care workers in the struggle for reproductive justice, I want to share a little story about an recent legislative attack you may remember...

A couple months ago, some legislators in Virginia decided to pass a law mandating ultrasounds for women seeking abortions. Their thinking seemed to center on a few monkey-brained assumptions:

1. Women seeking abortions may not realize they’re pregnant until they have an ultrasound.

2. After viewing a blurry, black-and-white blob, women will become so overcome with motherly emotions that their financial/logistical/emotional/spiritual reasons for seeking abortion will disappear.

3. Women can’t make decisions for themselves. Legislators should make decisions for them.

4. People who know nothing about medicine are qualified to dictate medical policy.

The legislators might have benefited from speaking to someone in abortion care who had a basic grasp of what happens between providers and patients. If they did, they might have realized:

1. Most women seeking abortion realize they are pregnant.

2. Ultrasounds are routinely provided as part of abortion care.

3. The level of detail required of the ultrasound image would mandate a TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUND for many women in early pregnancy.

Then something glorious happened. People who had a basic grasp of medical knowledge noticed that the law would require a specific medical procedure that involved putting.something.potentially.unecessary.into.my.vagina. The rage of the feminist community was unleashed upon Virginia. More than a thousand people protested outside the State Capitol and some were arrested. The word “vagina” was EVERYWHERE.

“Transvaginal,” said the TV anchors.

“Vaginal probe,” agreed the newspapers.

“Holy crap!” said those of us unaccustomed to seeing the word “vagina” in such places.

Many decried the bill as state-sponsored rape. Here, the feminist community may also have benefited from the wisdom of abortion care workers, who might have noted that transvaginal ultrasounds are in fact a routine medical practice that clinics often use to accurately diagnose gestational age.

Some in the world of abortion care worried that patients might come to see all transvaginal ultrasounds as rape. Others hoped patients would understand it was the legislative force -- not the actual probe itself -- that was a violation of will. For the most part, these voices were drowned out by sound bites.

The outcry forced Governor Bob McDonnell and the Republican legislators to back down, instead passing a watered-down version of the bill that required an abdominal ultrasound and the offer of a TRANSVAGINAL one.

But the debate ignored another key provision of the Virginia law -- one that many in abortion care believed would far more dramatically impact the lives of women seeking abortions. The bill required a waiting period between the ultrasound appointment and the abortion -- you know, so women could get a good hard look at that fuzzy, black-and-white picture. Women who lived within 100 miles of the clinic would need to wait 24 hours. Those who lived more than 100 miles away would need to wait two hours.



I spoke to Rosemary Codding, Director of Patient Services at Falls Church Healthcare Center in Virginia. She suggested it was the waiting period that worried her most, not the transvaginal ultrasound requirement. For many patients it meant two days of childcare, two days off from work. Some women would need to wait a week between the ultrasound and the abortion because of their schedules, meaning the clinic’s diagnostic ultrasound -- you know, the one with an actual medical purpose -- would need to be repeated. Insurance companies bill patients every time they walk in the door, so it would mean two co-pays at least -- or even more for women without insurance.

“If you’re 99 miles away, you’re looking at a 200-mile drive,” she told me.

But the workers at this clinic in Virginia hardly had time to worry about this law, she went on. Because Virginia had passed a series of onerous TRAP laws, part of a nationwide effort by anti-choicers aimed at stopping abortion by imposing ridiculous requirements on things like the size of a clinic’s janitor’s closet. I’m serious about that. That’s not a joke. The janitor’s closet is actually part of this law.

“We have a very nice janitor’s closet that is really well-organized,” sighed Codding.

The law requires things like eight-foot-wide hallways and a cavernous size for surgical rooms, she said. Already, thousands of dollars had been spent determining whether the clinic could come into compliance with the law -- or whether they would need to close.

The ultrasound mandate was an outrage, yes, but it was only one of many threats faced by providers in Virginia. And unlike the issue of TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUNDS, the TRAP law received little coverage by the mainstream media.

And that is why I believe we need to listen to the stories of abortioneers. As we face unprecedented attacks on women’s access to abortion, we need to be informed about what a TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUND actually is and when it is necessary. We need to know the impact laws will have on the ground -- not just in theory, but in practice. When we listen, we may come to understand the situation is far more complicated -- and far more urgent -- than we may have imagined.

Lets go to the movies (and have an abortion...or not have an abortion)

Busy day here in abortion land so I am re-posting from a fellow kick a$$ vegan feminist blogger who goes by the name of Opinioness of the World. I subscribe to her posts and you should too! Check out her review of Abortion in cinema: HERE

Hey! Don't I Recognize You? Oh! You're One of Our Protesters!

In my last blog post, I discussed how I outted myself as an abortioneer to a friend. I also mentioned that one of my hints to her that I do abortion work was that I had asked her to find out if guests at a recent dinner party we both attended could be uber pro-life…

…That dinner party was loads of fun, but there was an older couple who looked an awful lot like infrequent Catholic protesters at our clinic. During the dinner, I just couldn’t figure out if they were protesters or not. I searched for hints on whether they were politically conservative. No one mentioned politics. I heard a whisper of “Planned Parenthood” once, but didn’t catch what was said and this only heightened my paranoia. I kept wondering if they thought I, too, looked familiar and whether they would out me to the host of the party (whom I hadn’t told about my abortion clinic work). Conflicted, the only things I could surmise were that they were educated, well travelled, soft spoken, unassuming, and very, very, very nice. I kept playing out in my head a scenario where I would see them the following week outside the building, not knowing whether to quickly duck into the clinic, hoping they wouldn’t see me, or wave and say, “Hey! Hi! How are you? What a great dinner party that was last week, huh? It was lovely to meet you.” In this scenario, I could actually imagine this couple shaking my hand and have a friendly little chat about the dinner, how things are getting on, etc. Part of me wondered: is it possible to be friendly and admire to some extent people who would actually protest at the clinic? Could I really be enjoying these people, liking them, and wanting to continue to hear their stories…even if they protested my clinic?

It was a mind fuck, let me tell you. It would be a better story if my friend confirmed to me that they were, yes, in fact quite conservative and frequently attended pro-life gatherings. The story doesn’t end that way: I was told they were super liberal and would never protest a clinic. I apologize if my story is now a bit anti-climatic, but still, I think it’s a good story. I think it tells a few things (aside from that I have a warped brain): we want to reach out and connect with others; we want to find common ground (even though I don’t think there’s common ground on abortion); there’s this desire to see past differences, beyond values, even, if there are many other things you agree on (maybe that’s the common ground thing); and mostly, I think it shows how by doing the work we do, we can get very worried and concerned about how others in our community view us/see us. It can cause us to be guarded. Not completely open. And we might lose out on relationships with others as a result. I was not as candid with this couple as I could’ve been - or even wanted to be – because I wasn’t sure who they were!

Do you guys have experiences where you feel not quite as open to others, especially strangers, in social situations, because of your work?