Like a rug

My favorite thing about antis is the constant lying. I like it because it reinforces that I'm not an idiot. And the satisfaction that comes with just knowing, let alone demonstrating, that you're better than the competition is pretty much perfection.

My favorite lie? This'n:


This one is new to me, and I suspect it's also new to the antis, as it was printed on the back of a re-purposed sign that reads "Women Regret Abortion". I suspect that once that whole tactic got old and continued to have zero impact, they decided to take a new angle. One equally baseless and absurd. My final suspicion is that this stems from a semi-recent controversy in New Mexico, in which a man posted a billboard chastising his ex-girlfriend for having an abortion and robbing him of fatherhood. The billboard is just weird. Read about it from the antis' delightful POV: Antis make stuff up a lot.

Now, I can see myself being sympathetic to such a man, assuming that he were in a legitimate relationship in which there had been full disclosure from each partner about their parenting ambitions (or lack thereof) and clear respect for each other's wants. Clearly that is not the case here, ergo this guy and any other guy who pleads such a case (I haven't heard of any others) can go shove it. If he were in any kind of real relationship with a woman whose child he wanted to raise, he might have had more tact in expressing his parenting ambitions, perhaps before he reached a point of no return.

Point is, if he had made it clear that he wanted children and she had made it clear that she didn't, then he probably should have moved on. Enough said.

So all this pondering about these poor childless men had me a little confused. I mean, this is the only guy I know of who'd ever gone public about the loss of something he never had to begin with. I wondered, where were all these men? These sad sacks who wanted nothing more than to be daddies, but who were denied that honor by scorpion women who pierced their souls and aspirated their offspring. I started thinking back to my days counseling abortion patients and their loved ones. I'd spoken to hundreds of women who were pregnant but couldn't get her partner to contribute to her abortion fund, or to help her raise the child should she carry to term, or just plain couldn't find her partner! Certainly these were not the men who regret lost fatherhood. They actually seemed really content to act like the whole thing never happened.

I pondered it some more. I pondered and pondered until I decided that a) either the whole premise of "lost fatherhood" was faulty to begin with, or b) it's so crazy that it must be entirely legitimate and that something must be done!

Since I like to help out the little guy, I went with b.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Lost Fatherhood Network for Parenting Needy Children! Here at the LFNPNC, we care about children, but we care way more about the men who don't have them because they just can't manage to force a woman to have a baby. The LFNPNC is an online service that allows barren men to create profiles and be linked up with women searching for father figures. They can then fulfill their fatherhood dreams, be instantly wanted and accepted into the lives of children, without having to deal with those persnickety women who "just aren't ready to be mothers". The LFNPNC's mission is to

• Help men finally feel good about themselves;
• Give men a voice in a matter that is of great relevance to them;
  
• Resolve the childless man crisis that pervades our society.

FINE PRINT: Additional, yet totally secondary benefits include:

• Providing hope to children in struggling homes;
• Supporting single parents in childcare;
• Preventing single parents from having to choose between providing and caregiving;
• Providing a very real solution to poverty in a wealthy nation;
• Making single parents feel valuable in a society that does not support them.

But seriously. I would be down for some serious funding for anti programs that ACTUALLY HELP CHILDREN. Because the truth is, as we all know, antis don't actually give a shit about children. There are bajillions of struggling, born children out there who could really use help from these blubbering windbags, but instead they're out for whatever they can get their hands on. Any dude in this country could be a father if he wanted to. There is no shortage of need. But as things stand, a man in New Mexico who doesn't get his way can just slander a woman publicly and that's cool because he's a man and how dare a woman do something totally legal without his permission? THIS IS BULLSHIT.

Men out there, if you really care for children, then go do something for one. Adopt one. Babysit one. Read to one. Hell, just hold the door for one. Or, if you don't, then just be up-front about it. I have even less respect for these "lost fathers" than for deadbeat dads, because at least they're not liars. If you don't want kids, then just say so. If you do, Google "adoption agency" and you'll get 7,000,000+ results.

All Saint's Day

All Saints Day is a Catholic holy day that celebrates Saints both known and unknown. I am no Catholic but for me this day is about celebrating ancestors and those who have come before us. I have many ancestors to celebrate today. I also celebrate many abortioneers, activists, and generally awesome people who have made it possible for the world to be the beautiful place it can be.

I would like to celebrate both of my grandmother's today. My mother's mother was a devout Catholic and a republican. She raised my mother who grew up to be a radical liberal. She swore I would be my mother's antithesis, the conservative daughter she always hoped for. I am not that conservative woman. When faced with an unintended pregnancy as a young Irish Catholic woman in the 1950's she was sent to a maternity home and essentially made to give her son up for adoption. Her spirit lives on in her children and grandchildren and I celebrate the amazing woman she was. I am because she existed.

My mother's step mother was a liberal Unitarian Universalist. She told my mother about abortion as a teenager by explaining to her that she had an abortion. When I heard this story it only verified how amazing my Grandma was. She allowed her daughter to see that abortion was not some vague thing that happened to bad or dumb people. Abortion is something good women and mothers experience. I'm thankful amazing women like my Grandmother paved the way for women to have reproductive choice.

At my first job in abortionland I had an amazing supervisor who dedicated her life to making abortion accessible to woman in spite of economic circumstances. She trained other young abortioneers like my self to be compassionate, objective, and strong. She passed away a few years ago of a long term illness. Each day I am thankful I met this woman, her passion and fervor is part of what has sustained me in this work. When I started working for her I was young, lost, and damaged myself. She offered me a since of drive and passion that has stayed with me into my adulthood.

Finally, we must always remember the women who fought for reproductive choice in pre Roe V. Wade days. We must remember provider's who have lost their lives because they were willing to risk their lives to save women's lives. We must remember the women who have lost their lives all over the world because safe abortion was not or is not available.

On this day of All Saint's, known and unknown, I raise up my ancestors and the those people who have acted as saints so women can have safe and accessible reproductive health care.

The Mississippi Personhood Amendment

Next week, Mississippi voters will be voting on Amendment 26. If passed, a fertilized human egg will be considered a legal person, thus making abortion (and some forms of birth control and miscarriage) murder.

The Personhood strategy goes back to 2008, when Colorado citizens attempted twice to enact similar laws, both of which failed miserably. Colorado is much more liberal than Mississippi, though I guess pretty much any state is more liberal than Mississippi.

Should this pass, and it does seem like it will, this promises to be big trouble for women. Not only because it will like fire up the base and states like Florida, Ohio, and South Dakota have similar movements happening, but because it will reframe the debate to "birth control isn't abortion," away from the core message that women have the right to have abortions.

Yikes. Additionally, there is no exception for rape and incest victims. On Amendment 26's website, they have a "What about rape?" section, and it is simply a link to Rebecca Kiessling's website. Her mother was raped. Because Rebecca is alive and glad about it, this is somehow supposed to imply that all women who are raped should be forced to carry the pregnancy to term, go through the excruciating pain of labor, pay for all the medical costs associated with pregnancy and labor, and then have a baby and pay for all childcare costs as well. The fact that Amendment 26 couldn't even bother to create a separate page to address the concerns of rape victims (and incest cases were completely ignored) illustrates how blatantly they disregard women and others in general. Their view is so narrow and slanted that they are incapable of offering compassion or caring for a woman who has gone through a horrible experience. You cannot say that every case of rape is exactly the same and each woman will want/need the same thing. You just can't.

And then there is the whole birth control thing. Under this amendment, using birth control, the IUD, emergency contraception, and having a miscarriage would all be forms of murder. This is very problematic, obviously, because if having an abortion is murder, then women are going to want to be extra sure to not get pregnant. Yet many common ways to avoid getting pregnant would be classified as "abortion" under this amendment. WTF? Amendment 26's birth control page, "How does Amendment 26 impact birth controll (sic) & bioethics" appears to be all about cloning and IVF, with no mention of how OCPs or the IUD would be impacted by this bill. Again, WTF? I can only assume their complete dismissal of this is because they realize there is no way they can really say that birth control won't be illegal under the amendment.

As for the miscarriage issue, all they say is, "The Personhood Amendment would prevent the intentional taking of a life, but it would not adress (sic) miscarriage."

THIS IS THE WORST IDEA EVER, GUYS.

As we have talked about before, the vast majority of abortions occur before 12 weeks. I know it's a little gross, but if you have a person look at the pregnancy tissue of a nine week old pregnancy and then a 5 year old, and then said, okay -- the tissue or the child has to die -- pick one, most people would pick the tissue. That is because the tissue is NOT the same thing as the child. I know some people believe they are, but my point in this example is that when it comes down to it I don't think most people really think they are the exact same thing. Which is why, until this point, personhood bills have failed so badly. Is a woman who has a miscarriage, a totally natural process out of her control, a murderer? No. And is someone who takes birth control pills killing a baby everyday? Is a woman who has an IUD in killing babies too? NO EFFING WAY. Is someone who has IVF killing a baby if the first egg doesn't take? No. If someone was raped by her father and takes the morning after pill the next day murdering a baby? NO. It's not the same thing. So stop acting like it is.

/end rant

Telling Dad About My Abortion...Almost!

Sometimes it’s hard to come out as an abortioneer. We know that. And sometimes it can even be hard coming out to family. I never kept my abortioneering work a secret from my immediate family, but I still haven’t told my dad about my abortion. Okay, you’re probably wondering why I am worried about it or care about telling my parent. I mean, I don’t owe it to him or anything. I was in my 20’s when it happened. It’s not part of my job description as his daughter to let him know many years later, “Hey, dad, remember the time I dated that total asshole? You know, the one you hated? Yeah. Yeah. THAT one. Oh, no! Not THAT one, the OTHER one you hated. Well, errr, - uh – yeah, I had an abortion.” Shock and awe!

The thing is: I keep few secrets from my dad. We’re close. Despite this, he hasn’t ever been super supportive of my work or of abortion. He even calls the clinic “the gut and suck.” I’ve heard equally snide comments over of the years about women who have them, the procedure, you get the point; so, when we went to a poetry slam a couple weeks ago where Lauren Zuniga performed “To the Oklahoma Lawmakers,” I was nervous. (Seriously everyone, if you don’t know who she is, you need to.) I’ve mentioned her before to you all, but if you love her like I do, you can never tire of watching her. So, for some ear, eye, and heart candy, here you go.

Though I believe art can be a platform to share ideas and even transform beliefs – if not just challenge them – I was scared about my dad hearing this poem. I shifted in my seat, scratched my neck, and worried he would make another dismissive remark about abortion (which, of course, I take a little personally). Instead, during our drive home, he told me that “To the Oklahoma Lawmakers” was his favorite poem and performance; when pressed, he said it was because “everything she said was true.” I really couldn’t believe it. In fact, I said: “Who are you and what have you done with my dad?!” For the first time in over ten years of my work as an abortioneer, my dad and I spoke honestly and openly about abortion. For the first time in over ten years, I felt he finally got it. Finally understood the humanity behind abortion. Finally got ME. And for the first time in many years, I felt like I might actually be able to share with him that I had an abortion (without being judged) – not for me, really (not in the sense that I need to share my experience) – but so that he can further understand, put a face to, abortion and let loose of stereotypes. Judgment.

All I know is I am grateful for art. For poetry. For spoken word. I will never be able to stop being grateful to Lauren Zuniga. I feel I owe her. And I hope she reads this. Art can transform you. It can transform relationships. Miraculous? Yes. Proof? Dad doesn’t call the clinic “the gut and suck” anymore. And I think sometime soon, we’ll talk abortion again.

P.S. If you want to watch more of Lauren Zuniga, check her out here on YouTube.

Jury duty, or the time my bubble burst

I love living in a bubble of things and places and people that make me happy and comfortable and supported. There is a reason I live in a large metropolitan city, a reason why I mostly hang out with fellow feminist progressives, and a reason why I choose to eat in vegan restaurants. I love being surrounded by people who think/act/work/play just like me. We all like this to some degree, right? While I know my time could be well spent (or not?) getting to know some anti's and trying to convert them, it's just much more enjoyable to be surrounded with pro-choicers. I am privileged enough to live in this bubble and have access to a community that is in sync with my views.

Enter jury duty. I had jury duty a few weeks ago and my bubble was shattered. Yes, even in my beloved liberal city I was faced with a slew of individuals who were very different from me. I won't go into details about the trial, but throughout the process I witnessed many examples of misogyny. I left this experience feeling quite sad about this random sample of my city and what it represented.

I know that for things to ever change (abortion rights, lgbt rights, racism, environment, etc) we need to get out of our bubbles...I would love to hear other people's thoughts on this. How do we survive outside of our bubbles? How do we nurture ourselves when it can be so hostile out "there"???

Pie in the Sky

Sometimes, just to feel people out, I ask, "How do you feel about repeat abortions?" Some people will answer, "One is OK, but more than that is just irresponsible," which I may use as a teaching opportunity, or I might just walk away. It depends on my mood. But one person answered, "It's an expensive type of birth control, but if that's a woman's preference, that's fine with me." That counted as a good answer. Abortions aren't cheap, especially when they aren't covered by insurance. Since the economy has gone downhill, I've seen more and more prospective clients decide to continue the pregnancy because they look at 18+ years' worth of expenses for a kid as paying in installments when a few grand for an abortion is out of the question right here, right now. It sounds preposterous, and it is, but the blame doesn't exactly fall squarely on the shoulders of the pregnant woman.

Mostly, I blame the political climate and the plethora of abortion stigma along with the lack of abortion funding, to say little of sex ed. But I had a whole new perspective when I told an abortion client the cost of the IUD she was interested in--the IUD that had minimal side effects, that would prevent pregnancy for up to five years, that had little room for user error, and the same efficacy as a tubal ligation, and yet, it would be completely reversible at any time. In short the IUD that could be the answer to all of her problems. This client had just paid around $500 for her abortion, and the IUD runs around $800. "Wow," she responded, "So, an IUD costs more than abortion, huh? I'll just try going back on the pill."

The ball's in your court now, pharmaceutical companies. We are the 99%, and we need some decent birth control, too.

Post script: I Googled "diamond IUD" because that would be the best image ever for this post. I'm disappointed that it does not exist. YET.

The Newest Anti Craze: Fetal Heartbeat Laws

We all know the antis are constantly trying to push through new laws to restrict abortion, from parental involvement to laws regarding the size and space in and outside clinics. The newest area the antis have set their eyes on is fetal heartbeat. Fetal heartbeat bills, if passed, would actually make it mandatory for women to listen to the heartbeat (if detectable) before getting an abortion. Some of them even go further than that. In Ohio an anti group is trying to propose a law that would make abortion illegal once the heartbeat is detectable.

Can someone explain to me exactly what this would do, other than be terribly upsetting to many women? Do they think women are stupid? Do they think we don't know the fetus has a heartbeat, so we need to sit there and see it and listen to it? Do they think a woman going to have an abortion hasn't already put a lot of thought into what she's doing?

I swear these proposals treat women like ignorant children who need to be protected from themselves. These ultrasound and now fetal heartbeat proposals really irritate me. They aren't about counseling or informing women. They have no medical benefit to them at all. The point of them is to put up barriers and prevent women from seeking LEGAL health care.

These types of proposals really scare me and so do the people proposing them. It really worries me how antis are chipping away at our rights, our right to have control over our own bodies. This election season scares the crap out of me, and it should scare the crap out of you all too.

If I occupy Wall Street will you stop trying to occupy my uterus?

What does Occupy Wall Street have to do with abortion? Nothing! Well, at least that’s what appears on the surface from my two visits down there. My first trip to Wall Street, and more specifically Zuccotti Park where the protesters have camped out, was the first week of the occupation. The crowds were thin and the media hadn’t really picked up on anything yet. My second visit was last Friday, when I visited ostensibly to participate in a Kol Nidre service, which occurs the night before Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. It was on this second and most recent visit where I saw the true force of Occupy Wall Street and what it had evolved into.

In the main area of the park there seems to be a fully operational and functional community of sorts. It has been advertised that protestors can access health services, a haircut, library, volunteer sign-up area, massages, life coaches, and a kitchen. Code Pink was down there with signs! There are signs about demanding universal healthcare. There are tons of women! So many signs! Signs with messages about every issue you could think of…except abortion. So where were the signs about abortion? Did I miss them?

How does abortion fit into this protest? Does it need to? Haven’t I said in the past that I see abortion EVERYWHERE??? So of course abortion has to fit in somewhere, right? Wall Street matters...it has to. Not only is this protest about the current state of our economy, government, and politics, but it is about dissent. So many of us who are involved in left-leaning issues have lacked adequate venues to SCREAM CHANT SWEAR SING DANCE VENT COMMUNE about what we’re feeling. As abortioneers, we often hold our feelings in and let them fester. I see Occupy Wall Street as a form of catharsis (at the least) and a significant potential for social change (at the most).

I also think there is potential for abortion to enter the dialogue at these protests. While they are parading around signs that say: “we are the 99%”, what about making some signs that reference “we are the 33%”, which is the percent of women who will have had an abortion by age 45?

Occupy Wall Street has spread to many cities and I’m curious if anyone has seen some awesome abortion or reproductive rights messages at your protests?

And then there are these condoms...

Side note: As you know “vegan” makes up half of this vegan vagina and I was overjoyed to see signs and messages supporting animal rights AND lots of vegan food being donated to those who have camped out. In fact, the protestors are ASKING for vegan/vegetarian food to be delivered!!!

Sometimes I would rather write about butterflies, rainbows, and unicorns:

I resonate with About A Girl's post from Sunday. I often choose not to be the constant defender of abortion. I live my life, I choose to work in a field that I know has chosen me. I often do have conversations about abortion that offer folks perspective they may not have considered. At the same time, I refuse to take the whole world on in regards to abortion. Sometimes I just can't debate what is not debatable for me.

I have an uncle I have not spoken to since the day I told him where I work. A cousin of mine married a republic who is conservative on many fronts. One day he says to me, "so what did you major in during college?" I told him, "Soicology with a minor in Psych." His response was, "so you really aren't using your degree then?" Of coarse I very quickly told him that there was lots of sociology and psychology involved in my daily work duties. I chose not to tell him I also make more money then him because I have my degree.

I know that so often as abortioneers being the most devout abortionista means defending abortion every day. Personally I choose to defend abortion by helping make sure they are available to women in my community. I cannot take on the whole world on.

I understand that most of us who work professionally are passionate about our work. The work, life, politics, etc balance is tricky and very unique to each individual. I know I am fighting for choice each time I am in the procedure room or each time I assist a woman in accessing abortion care. Each person has to find a way to make their own footprint in the world!

Abortion Girl: To the Rescue!!

To delete or not to delete: that is the question. Ever wondered if you should delete someone as your friend on Facebook? Maybe because their political stance is so opposite to yours, you could wave to each other from the different poles (but wouldn’t want to)? Maybe because they’re totally anti?

Right, so there’s this girl who I accepted a friend request from on Facebook. We must’ve gone to high school together, but I honestly don’t remember her (which I feel guilty about). Recently, she posted one of those “repost if you feel the same way” stupid things, but it was all “Dear Mommy, don’t have an abortion.” Immediately, I wondered if I should delete her. By not deleting her, am I being a hypocrite? Not a real Abortioneer? Obviously, I could’ve stood up to her – and for all women who have abortions because surely, some of her other FB friends have had abortions (like me!) – and make a comment on it. I didn’t. Bad, bad Abortioneer, About a Girl. I felt guilty about that, too.

Since then, she’s posted things like, “I will not be forced to learn a foreign language to accommodate illegals in my country.” Yuck, right? Not cool. Clearly, she has dehumanized two groups of people – those who are undocumented in our country and women seeking abortions – and still, I haven’t said a word. Why?

Well, do you ever just wish you didn’t have to stand up for abortion all the time? I get sick of it. I get tired of putting my neck out there just to get it chopped off. By being an Abortioneer, did we also agree to wear the “I protect the freedom of choice” badge on our arm 24/7 for all to see? Are we all really meant to be fucking superheroes all the time? The “Defenders of Choice” On Their Way to Save the Day!!!!” (Maybe sporting a hot pink cape with a great big huge A on it. Abortion Girl to the rescue!!!) I’m tired of being Abortion Girl and I am tired of having to stand up all the time. (And don’t get me started on how pissed off it makes me that we even have to!) I’d like Facebook to be a place where we can all just get along and I can say hi to all my little friends and stalk pictures of their super cute kids. No harm in that right?

Well, I’ve now just posted a response to her anti statement. We’ll see if she replies. That will dictate if I delete her or not. She might even beat me to it. I guess, though, it kinda is our job to be the Abortion Girl.

CHOICE begins at conception

A stereotype for many reasons.

TV commercials tell us that we should be thrilled when presented with a (blood) diamond from a dude down on one knee. Billboards instruct us to expect all of our problems will be solved after a Botox injection or two. Magazines remind us that we should be melancholy when we gain 5 pounds after a delicious, heretofore enjoyable Thanksgiving meal. In fact, in that publication vein, I wrote my senior thesis on the prescriptive nature of women's magazines, but it doesn't end there--Society as it relates to women is prescriptive. They will ask how we feel about everything, but then tell us how we should feel.

And although it doesn't involve Photoshop and fancy editorializing, the world is all about how we should feel about a pregnancy. How I would love to say that this is limited to the antis, loitering outside of clinics, harassing women about how evil they are for being so selfish for not wanting to be pregnant at this point in time. They do, of course, shoulder most of the blame, and they are certainly responsible for creating guilt instead of acknowledging it. After all, we Abortioneers typically steer away from talking in absolutes, understanding the wide spectrum of emotions following an abortion. But what about when we retrace our steps, walking back to the moment of a positive pregnancy test?

There have been so many times that I perform a pregnancy test at work for a young woman, anxious and alone at the clinic. When I see the second red line appear, my gut reaction is, "I have to tell her bad news." So I deliver the news with a straight, professional, nonjudgmental face, and that face is so often met with an exclamation of, "Oh my god, I'm so happy!" And for every time that scenario replays itself, there is a put-together professional woman in the clinic for a pregnancy test with her husband or partner. I subconsciously prepare myself to celebrate with them after I give the results, only to have her burst into tears, gasping, "This is horrible."

What made me more aware of this phenomenon of assumptions and directives is one of my best friend's recent pregnancy. I make it a point not to tell others' stories here because they are not mine to tell, but the point of this account is that her story is not mine (or anyone else's) to direct, either. Her pregnancy was incredibly planned, and I knew it was in the works. When she disclosed her expectant status, I screamed and hugged her, and she told me, "I'm scared. I'm not sure I'm 100% happy." And I hugged her again and made a bad joke about how she has until the third trimester to change her mind (she smiled), and I told her I understand, because I do. I understand that women and complex and brilliant and have every right to own their bodies and all of their feelings surrounding them.

My dear friend told me that even her other staunchly pro-choice friends have looked at her befuddled, saying, "Why aren't you happier?" As though choice is a straight line, a fluid action, a yes or no. I'm not prefect in my reactions, either, but in her honor, and in her baby's honor (or in her fetus' honor, if she chooses to call it that), I want to remind the world that women's choices aren't limited to the abortion clinic, and our respect for them does not end at our expectations.

35 Years of Suppression Should Not Go Unnoticed

Last Friday marked the 35th anniversary of the Hyde Amendment. You all probably know what it is, but for any that do not, the Hyde Amendment is a provision started by Former Congressman Henry Hyde that is added as an attachment to appropriations bills. This provision prohibits any federal funds from funding abortion services with exceptions for rape, incest, or danger to the life of the mother/pregnant person. In 1976 Henry Hyde proposed this amendment and Congress approved it in response to Roe v. Wade, and it has been reauthorized every year since.

There are many people that believe there is a war on the poor, and they are doing something about it. And you know what, I'm starting to think they might be on to something.

There is a problem with how how our political system treats the poor, uninsured, disenfranchised people in this country. We need to start a revolution. We need to make a plan to not let crotchety, conservative, windbags (and I'm looking at you Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin) rule our lives and the lives of all women. Let's show them that 35 years of the Hyde Amendment hasn't defeated us or weakened our resolve. Let's keep fighting until every woman has the option of exercising her freedom of choice.

All stigma great and small

Gender Across Borders just hosted a fantastic series on stigma, including - shocker - abortion stigma. Stigma against providers as well as patients, perceived as well as anticipated, internalized as well as externally enforced. I'll probably be talking more about these things in the coming weeks.

But the thing I really want to talk about ASAP is this one: Pivotal Positions: Transforming Abortion Provider Stigma. Jennifer Colletti accurately depicts stigma against providers as the complex and diversely-manifested problem that it really is. It's not felt the same way or from the same sources in all places, and I think that's important to remember.

It's not hard for us, for abortioneers I mean, to rage against the full-blown anti-choice model of stigma: literally demonizing us and alleging Satanic rituals, stalking our children, calling providers murderers and those who provide any related care accomplices (or "killer-helpers," in the words of one persistent but not very inventive fellow). When we encounter people who do this, their failure to accept our personhood and the value of our lives (while insisting that those of the embryos are inalienable, I'll add) says to us that they don't care about how life might be lived by people other than themselves, meaning they're either oblivious and narcissistic or cruel and dictatorial. So we can easily write them off.

What's harder, though, is to talk about how our parents sidestep friends' questions about what their progeny are doing these days, or how high school reunions are at even greater risk of being depressing/distressing/disastrous than for everyone else, or how we worry about our kids learning what we do not because we aren't proud but because their classmates' parents might shame or punish them.

We go to schools that don't want to talk too much about abortion because some nebulous outside audience may object; we attend reproductive health lectures by professors who feel comfortable accommodating the opinion that it's OK to be anti-reproductive health; we don't get hired because someone thought we'd bring unnecessary attention to an organization that doesn't even really care about abortion either way, maybe they even support what we do, but just wants to get its own work done without pointless interference. You will never see an abortioneer nominated to the Department of Health and Human Services.

These things don't feel like stigmatizing incidents so much as the material that our lives' scenery is made out of. It's in the water, it's in the air. It feels like there's not as much to say about them, or else you're being melodramatic, compared to how fucked up it is to get shot down dead. But it's still stigma and it still harms our health and happiness.

We need the abortioneers around us to support us through crap like this; and we need non-abortioneers around us to get it. Make it your mission to let your on-the-fencey non-abortioneer acquaintances know what you deal with just for going to work.

Got harassment???

Have you heard about Voice of Choice? Check out this landlord-turned-reproductive rights-hero Todd Stave who is sick and tired of being harassed by anti-abortion STALKERS...he speaks on the Rachel Maddow show here

This all started when Todd, who is the landlord of the building that houses Dr. Carhart's abortion clinic, refused to back down to pressure from antis. So, naturally the antis did the next logical thing and protested at Todd's children's school (yeah I know, mind is exploding)...read about it here

Oh, and did I mention he is a second generation abortioneer? Yup, his pops was an abortion provider! Apple did not fall far from the abortion tree...

Todd is urging everyone to check out Voice of Choice...all you have to do is click here!!!

They are looking for people to volunteer, donate, and most importantly SHARE stories about being the victim of anti-abortion harassment.

Here is a blurb from their website:


Finally, a voice of reason.

For too long, the abortion discussion has been dominated by angry, nasty protests fueled by individuals and organizations that thrive on sensationalism and extremism. Now it is our turn.

"Voice of Choice" was established as a calm, measured response to anti-abortion activists who engage in misguided, raging protest tactics that are often ill-informed and only serve to victimize women, pro-choice professionals, law-abiding businesses and unaligned bystanders.

We use email, telephone and social media in peaceful, person-to-person counter-protests, against groups that target abortion facilities, providers and patients, as well as their families and communities. We don’t question anyone’s right to express opinions and ideals; we challenge their bullying tactics and their contempt.

"Until I come to you"

Motherhood by Georgia Douglas Johnson

Don't knock on my door, little child,
I cannot let you in;
You know not what a world this is
Of cruelty and sin.
Wait in the still eternity
Until I come to you.
The world is cruel, cruel, child,
I cannot let you through.

Don't knock at my heart, little one,
I cannot bear the pain
Of turning deaf ears to your call,
Time and time again.
You do not know the monster men
Inhabiting the earth.
Be still, be still, my precious child,
I cannot give you birth.

From The Crisis (October 1922)

Georgia Douglas Johnson was a black poet and writer who was among the first female poets to gain recognition during the Harlem Renaissance. She was often criticized for not addressing race in her poetry however, much of her writing spoke to issues unique to women's experience.

Motherhood spoke to me in so many ways. Its about choosing motherhood and wanting to bring children into a world that is safe and kind. Based on history we know that the world was less than a safe or kind place for a black woman in the 1920s.

Women who have abortions are mothers. We are mothers of 1 or 7. We are future mothers. We are aunties who raise other people's children but never birth our own. We are women who want to come to motherhood by choice and when we know we can create a world that is as safe and kind as possible to our children. And sometimes we aren't mothers.

Pregnant Abortioneers: We Still Love Babies

One of my co-workers is pregnant and in her third trimester. She happens to do ultrasounds and assist the doctor during abortions. I notice that sometimes, the women stare at her belly, then quickly glance at her face. It’s as though they’re confused and searching for an answer to, “You work here? But you’re pregnant. Are you judging me?”

I wish the women who were worried if our pregnant colleague was judging them, could have seen all of us when Veronica brought in her newborn. Everyone stopped working for a bit to swoon over this precious little bundle. It was a cacophony of estrogen swirling around, making music out of all our “ooohs” and all of our “ahhhhs.” Thing is, Veronica chose to continue her pregnancy, so we sang with delight. When a woman chooses to abort, we hum. We hold her hand while she may moan and we hum with warmth, compassion, and love.

I think it’s beautiful to see a pregnant woman working at the clinic. It’s the full circle. Nothing more perfectly shows how at different stages/places in our lives, we make different choices. We are women. Women who have had abortions, miscarriages, still births, babies…we’re women who have been infertile. We are amazing and we carry all those experiences within us. Sometimes, one woman has experienced all of what I just listed. Mothers have abortions. Single women have babies.

And, just on a side note: hopefully women see our pregnant staff and realize one more myth about abortion and abortioneers is squashed. We are not baby haters. Most of us adore babies and children. Some of us have even worked in child education. Many of us are mothers. We love babies. And we also honor your choice.

HATE MAKES DUMB

Is it just me, or is 40 Days for Life like every day.

Lately, we’ve had no protestors, which is dandy. This community doesn’t tolerate them but every so often they sneak up to the corners with their grotesque posters, baby dolls, crosses, and high water khakis. Last week, we had rare but always disturbing protest activity. At the end of the day, they followed my colleagues to their cars. There was damage to bumpers backing out. My colleagues were shaken.

Dummies. It was Thursday. They were protesting annual exams, infection checks, STD testing and treatment, and birth control consultations. They were protesting the woman who just moved here because she lost her job/insurance and will be living with her brother but contracted a bacterial infection along the way. They were protesting the seventy-five year old man desiring routine testing because he was entering a new relationship. They were protesting cancer screenings, bump checks, treatment for variable degrees of genital discomfort and dysfunction. They were protesting women attempting to prevent pregnancy with contraceptives.

They are dumb.

I keep thinking one day everyone will go to sleep and have the same dream, the one about abortion being necessary. The next day everything will just fall into place.

The Care and Keeping of Your Abortioneer

So, if you have stumbled upon or have been directed t0 this blog, you might have the honor of being a friend or loved one of an Abortioneer. Congratulations! Abortioneers are fascinating and dynamic people, and they can also be quite complex, and I hope that the following guide will help you to appreciate and understand your very own Abortioneer. This is, of course, intended to be a general guide, as every Abortioneer and Abortioneer's experience is unique. Now, let's get started.

As a friend/loved one of an Abortioneer, try not to joke like an anti-choicer. In some of my cruder moments, I've been known to say sarcastically, "Well, I'm off to make my living as a baby killer!" My best friend, a non-Abortioneer, is allowed to say things of that nature. However, if I have just met you and we are not BFF, it really isn't necessary to pretend you're a close-minded clown just to prove your pro-choice cred because all it really accomplishes is making me think that you're a close-minded clown trying quite feebly to prove your pro-choice cred, which is questionable, at the moment. For the time being, stick with, "Oh, you work in abortion? I completely support that. Please, tell me more."

Of course, you are more than welcome to ask questions about my job. I would much rather clarify something than have you under the (very wrong) impression that an abortion is performed through the nostril. You also can and should ask more probing questions like, "Wow, an 11-year-old who was raped...what was that like for you? Do you need to process that? I'm happy to listen."

And when it's a job where I provide compassionate and empowering care to a child who was raped and is 23 weeks pregnant, please understand that it's not just a job. I do this work because it's a calling and a passion, and it's not for everyone, and it's not easy, so it's prudent to keep in mind where I'm coming from.

On the flip side, occasionally, it's just a job. 90% of the time, I feel fortunate to do the work I do, but that doesn't make me immune to the usual workplace frustrations. That doesn't mean I'm going to turn in my letter of resignation tomorrow, but recognize that I deal with a lot of the same things that you do in corporate America. (OK, not a lot of the same things. But some.)

So, whether it's just a job or not, please honor my need to self-care, anger, or bragging. It's in the job description of an Abortioneer to deal with people in crisis, no matter how small. Even on the most tranquil day at the clinic, we're still providing customer service, and that gets stressful and/or exhausting. Thus, I might need to come home and watch a marathon of Weeds instead of vacuum the floors, and as long as the floors don't look like the ones on Hoarders, it's OK for me to zone out once in a while. (Others of us cope by vacuuming instead of vegging out. Whatever works.) I also might just need to rant and rave about injustice or frustrations, and you're not obligated to fix anything; just listen. And yes, sometimes, I have to toot my own horn about how awesomely I advocated for that client, and you're welcome to join in praising me.

And I do genuinely like talking about my job. You've probably noticed. But please be aware that there is a time and place top talk about my job and before going off on your own rant about anti-choicers, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, consider that I might not want to talk about such a loaded topic at the drop of a hat. It's a good idea simply to ask if I'd like to hear about your thoughts at the moment. I might rather just talk about what's for dinner.

In a similar vein, while I do value most of your opinions, I don't value your revolutionary thought that "if she didn't want to get pregnant, she should have just used birth control." There is no need to state the obvious, and especially, no need to state the judgmental. And please, don't play devil's advocate. A friend of mine once tried to tell me that the anti-choicers "mean well," and then I stopped listening...to most things she ever said.

Of course, even though I'm speaking for the Abortioneers as a whole, I also want to acknowledge and want you to acknowledge that there is not just one type of Abortioneer. Some of us are Christians, some of us are atheists; some of us are hippies, and some of us are socialites; and all of us are Abortioneers. And all of us are fortunate enough to have built lives full of people who adore and support us and our work, so thank you, friend.

'Tis the Season for Misinformation

How exactly can people with no true knowledge on a subject get away with telling the public lies about it? This happens all the times with antis and abortion. They just love to say things that aren't true to scare people. But that's not what I'm talking about in this case.

I'm talking about Michele Bachmann's claim that she spoke to a woman who said the HPV vaccine gave her daughter mental retardation. What?! First of all, the claim that vaccines cause horrendous side effects like autism was found to be fraudulent. Second, I've seen no legitimate source show proof that the vaccine could cause mental retardation. In fact, the CDC has information on vaccine safety on their website and lists info on the HPV vaccine.

Luckily Bachmann's claim has been ridiculed by pretty much everyone, including conservatives like Rush Limbaugh! Her claims are ridiculous and clearly not founded in scientific fact, but most importantly they are dangerous. The HPV vaccine helps prevent cervical cancer. To suggest to someone they shouldn't get a vaccine because they could have a serious side effect (that you have no proof of) is criminal. Vaccines are one of the most important advances we've made in public health. They don't cause mental retardation, they don't cause autism, they save lives.

Dr. Tiller's Late Abortion Patients

Last night, I went to make a cup of tea. All the cups I normally use were in the sink (whoops), so I reached to the back of the shelf where I keep my "special" mugs, and I pulled a mug for Women's Health Care Services, Dr. Tiller's now defunct clinic.

There has been renewed interest in his clinic and the doctors he worked with. More specifically, Dr. Ann Kristin Neuhaus, who provided the legally required second opinion for Dr. Tiller's late abortion cases from 1999-2006. 11 cases are under review, because someone filed a complaint to the State Board of Healing Arts.

I read about it in this article. One of the patients in question, a 15 year old from Illinois, bothered me in particular because the author of the article makes it seem like she got an abortion because she didn't like basketball anymore, and that's it. The cases described in the article are missing a lot of details in general, ie, was the 15 year old pregnant because her 22 year old boyfriend impregnated her? Did she spend 20 weeks trying to get an abortion and was unable to raise funds and ended up at Dr. Tiller's clinic? If there is anything my experience in the field has taught me, it's that the reasons and psychology of a woman seeking an abortion is very complex. Just like people in general. We aren't one-dimensional images that can be fully understood in a few sentences. People reading these articles can easily jump to the conclusion Dr. Tiller was doing abortions on young women for totally ridiculous reasons. He didn't do that.

Dr. Tiller didn't take abortion lightly and did not give abortions to people who were flippant about it. He just didn't. I am thinking because of HIPAA laws the article couldn't reveal more, and as Dr. Neuhaus stated herself, she was worried anti-choice people would get ahold of these documents. Clearly her fears were correct. Obviously, if Dr. Neuhaus was cutting corners and not properly documenting these cases, then that is wrong. I could only find articles about this from the anti-choice perspective, so it's hard to fully determine what was going on her.

It just saddens me that anti-choicers are still obsessing over this clinic which is now closed. Dr. Tiller has been dead for 2.5 years. RIP.

Abortion - Mixed Feelings: We Aren't All Nicely Wrapped Packages

We know that women have abortions for many reasons. And we know some women feel a myriad of emotions about having abortions. Sometimes, they don’t; but I’m going to talk about complexity today. Sometimes the “abortion feelings” are wrapped so tightly, are so entwined with the “everything that’s going on in my life” feelings, that they aren’t separate at all. Yet, they kind of are. It’s like the ying and yang. It’s usually the “everything that’s going on in my life” that turns a woman toward abortion. Life/Abortion. One not quite existing without the other. If things were different…different decisions might be made. (Always the conundrum of life, really.)

I’m not telling you anything new; but sometimes, abortioneers like to make the abortion decision - and the feelings about the decision – nicely wrapped into a fine package of “I’m going to be okay. Everything’s fine. I am woman. Hear me roar.” But it isn’t always so simple. It’s not always wrapped up so nice and sweet, delivered into the palms of clinic workers with a smile on the face and a “here you go. You don’t have to worry about me! I’m your text book feminist having an abortion.” Sometimes, the decision is dead easy…but attached to a heavy heart. Sometimes, it’s sad. Sometimes, it’s terrifying and feels wrong. Wrong, because your life wasn’t supposed to be like this. You weren’t supposed to be one of those girls. You didn’t grow up saying, “One, day, I want to have an abortion.” But life can take twisty turns down dusty roads. Shit happens. He happened. It happened: whatever “it” is. The “it” is not the same for everyone. And trust me, we get it.

Sometimes, just sometimes, the experience – or multitude of experiences – that brought her to stand in front of us, asking for an abortion, can’t even be dealt with at the time. Just getting the abortion completed (money in hand, ride at her side, pads in the car, kids taken care of) might be all that can be handled with right then and there. Don’t fuck with her about her relationship or question if she’s sure she doesn’t want to try a new birth control method (because, this one failed. Right?). If she sighs deep, looks like she hasn’t slept, seems distant: just fucking hold her hand. Show her kindness. Let her breathe. Let her deal with the other shit when she can.

We (women/people) can’t always handle life all at once. We can’t always be expected to be strong. We can’t always be expected to carry the heavy, heavy weight bearing on us. So we take out strips of our life from our pockets and face what we can. Piece by piece if we have to. Year by year, if needed. Maybe he hurt you in ways you never told anyone. And though I don’t think women have to heal from an abortion, it might sometimes seem like it, because we may have to heal from all the hurt that surrounded “it” happening to us. And it’s not that it’s confusing: we shouldn’t have to separate, really, the possible pain/sadness/hurt/regret (that things weren’t different) about the abortion from what our life was like at the time of the abortion. To let go, to grieve what you’ve lost in your life – that “what could’ve been” – is okay. It’s equally okay to have mixed feelings about an abortion during a mixed up part of life and still feel solid and certain that abortion is the best decision, while feeling so…unraveled.

We’re women. We’re complicated. And we don’t fit in neat little boxes, wrapped up nicely, with smiles on our faces. All of the time.

Hello from the Haven Coalition

I have written in a few posts about the organization I volunteer with as a patient host, the Haven Coalition. I realized that in all my time writing as an abortioneer here I have probably not written enough about this awesome network of patient hosts. I did write a patient hosting FAQ here, but I thought I would share some excellent media stories about our organization and our history. We are always looking for new volunteer hosts (contact info here) and also willing to talk to people in other cities about getting their own volunteer hosting network started.

So, if you have some free time I highly suggest checking out these great pieces written about our org:

In Salon: here

In NYMag: here

and Brooklyn Rail: here

...and finally, here is a link to join our Facebook page: here

Happy Reading! I would also love to hear about any other DIY or grassroots efforts in your town that provide support to women.

Dreamland

Maybe this happens to every abortioneer. I know a few other abortioneers have shared their dreams about pregnancy and abortion. I had a dream I was 20 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I had no idea I was pregnant until for some random reason I got an ultrasound and I was told I was in the second trimester of a pregnancy.

I was astounded. I'm gay and I have not slept with a man in over 5 years. In my dream I could not comprehend how I ended up pregnant without sleeping with a man. It seemed obvious my very masculine female bodied partner was who impregnated me. It was some form of immaculate conception except in my dream it seemed less immaculate.

I considered abortion, my partner was like, "this is amazing, its my baby of coarse you aren't going to get rid of it." There I was knowing I did not plan this pregnancy and I have always been very clear that any pregnancy will be very planned especially given that accidents are so highly unlikely given my sexuality. In my dream I started searching for a pregnancy test, just like the ones we use at work. I finally found one and only when I saw the positive second line did I believe the ultrasound.

I felt really ambivalent about keeping the pregnancy because I did not plan it and it did not feel like it was the right time. However, I also felt really unsure about having and abortion. Ultimately I very ambivalently decided I would keep the pregnancy. Then I got lost in an unfamiliar city, alone, still trying to figure out how the hell I got pregnant.

I woke up thinking about pregnancy, parenthood, abortion, and babies. I feel really blessed that planning pregnancy is pretty much a must because I'm gay. I fear that when I'm ready it might be hard, or my ovaries will have expired. However, I feel really blessed that I will not face an accident that results in an unplanned pregnancy. In my dream every one around me was like, "this is amazing!" and all I could think was that I did not plan to get pregnant right now!

When faced with something so unintended I felt really unsure of what to do. I know one thing, it was really important to know I had the ability to choose how to handle the very unexpected circumstance.

What isn't about abortion?

Abortioneers. Tell me if you haven't met someone -- a young girl, an older woman, a mother of four, the grandmother of the patient, a survivor on the run -- whose hands you wanted to grasp as you told her, basically, this:

The Laughing Heart

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.


Charles Bukowski

A Novelistic Abortion

I would never become a mother, but that would not be the same as never bearing children. I would bear children, but I would never be a mother to them. I would bear them in abundance; they would emerge from my head, from my armpits, from between my legs; I would bear children, they would hang from me like fruit from a vine, but I would destroy them with the carelessness of a god. I would bear children in the morning, I would bathe them in the morning with a water that came from myself, and I would eat them at night, swallowing them whole, all at once. They would live and then they would not live. In their day of life, I would walk them to the edge of a precipice. I would not push them over; I would not have to; the sweet voices of unusual pleasures would call to them from its bottom; they would not rest until they became one with these sounds. I would cover their bodies with diseases, embellish skins with thinly crusted sores, the sores sometimes oozing a thick pus for which they would thirst, a thirst that could never be quenched. I would condemn them to live in an empty space frozen in the same posture in which they had been born. I would throw them from a great height; every bone in their body would be broken and the bones would never be properly set, healing in the way they were broken, healing never at all. I would decorate them when they were only corpses and set each corpse in a polished wooden box. It is in this way that I did not become a mother; it is in this way that I bore my children.

Excerpt from Autobiography of My Mother by Jamaica Kincaid

Judging a book by its cover calling the kettle black

Several years ago, in my pre-Abortioneer life, I was working at a PR firm, rocking blazers and long, sleek, painstakingly straightened hair. And fancy-me mentioned to my cubicle-mate in passing, that I was a fiercly pro-choice feminist. "You are?!" she replied incredulously. "You...don't really look like one. I'm really happy that you are, but I just didn't expect it," as though that were a compliment. I bought a "This is what a feminist looks like" shirt shortly after. In the years since my career change, I've taken to looking a little more crunchy, but I'm still aware of how I'm treated a little bit differently (in the abortion community and out) when my hair is flat ironed or when I have mascara on.

I was at a fundraiser a few months ago, hair done and heels on, and I started chatting up a woman who I knew was pro-choice because, well, she wouldn't have been at the event if she weren't. Although she wasn't dressed much differently than I was, I immediately read her as someone who was the pretty face of choice--someone who was non-threatening to the antis and who was charming to the moneyed pro-choicers. However, once we got past pleasantries, the first words out of her mouth were, "I love events like this, but I wish everyone would stop goddamn dancing around the word 'abortion.' I've f*****g had it with people who pretend there's something wrong with it, and I'm not afraid to say it." So, yes, I was wrong.

I also recently met a woman who wanted to volunteer at my clinic, and she was polished, put-together, and poised. She projected an aura that said, "I know what's up, and also, I WILL help you out." My brain, however, translated it as, "We could never be friends." It wasn't just me, either--an established volunteer walked by, caught a glimpse of the new woman, and rolled her eyes. But I kept talking with the prospective volunteer, and whether or not we would be BFF was irrelevant--she was one of the most articulate, observant, passionate Abortioneers I've ever met. She acknowledged her privilege and recounted her experiences, and openly discussed where she fell short as well as where her passion lay.

Despite the fact that I've been on both sides of the feminist discrimination fence, I'm still surprised at how tricky it is for all of us to navigate. I'm certainly not proud of it, either, but I'd rather call it as I see it, even if I'm not excepted. And I won't even get into how mind blowing it is to some people when they meet a pro-choice male feminist.

Abortion is an option

Read that post title again. Perhaps twice more. Slowly, if you need to, to let it sink in and make sense.

Abortion is real. It happens. It is an actual thing. I didn't make it up just now.

I feel the need to belabor this point because lately I've been bitch slapped in the face with outright denials of abortion's awesomeness. What's more, I've had people straight up tell me that abortion is not a pregnancy solution. COME AGAIN?!

I've been thinking about abortion stigma lately, due in part to an upcoming series in the Gender Across Borders blog (check for it in a couple weeks!). Now, I have no delusions about being able to eradicate abortion stigma anytime soon. But the first step towards fighting stigma in any arena is just to get people talking about it. Get folks to the point where they can actually say the word "abortion" in public without giggling or lowing their voices. But how can we even get there if people won't even think of abortion as a real live option? And I'm becoming increasingly frustrated that it doesn't even come up in the family planning conversation, even as an idea that one might reject.

Remember: Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

What's funny is that a lot of the aforementioned "abortion denial" does not come from the full-on antis. No, they know abortion is real, and they make it very clear to everyone else how much they hate it. BUT HEY: at least they're talking about it! At least they use the word, even if it's in the [false] context of "Abortion is dangerous" or "Women regret abortion". So, in that respect, I have to applaud the antis for their awareness, if nothing else.

No, it's the middle-of-the-road, don't-care, would-never-happen-to-me-so-I'll-never-have-to-think-about-it types who, for whatever reason, have never talked about abortion. Sure, we've all talked about abstinence, and most of us have talked about contraception. But ask them what they know about abortion and they can't be bothered. And I suspect it's not a matter of distance from the problem. (Just see our latest poll, in which 100% of respondents report knowing someone who's had an abortion!) I think it's a matter of ignorance, of never having had the opportunity to ask questions, or to listen to someone else talk about it. Ignorance, notoriously, begets stigma and hatred and fear and all that, so I think it's super easy for someone who's never actually thought about abortion on a complex level (besides would you/wouldn't you) to think it's weird and scary and something you should never talk about, let alone post to someone's Facebook wall.

So, as an ally of both abortion and people who want to know more about it, I've tried to open myself up. I still face a small degree of stigma from people who learn that I'm pro-Abortioneering, but it's so worth it when someone finally comes to me and - even in hushed tones - asks what abortion is really all about. Is there really such a thing as "partial-birth abortion"? How much do abortions cost? Are all clinics like that one in Philadelphia?

Abortioneers far and wide, I feel your pain. But I also feel the joy of being a sounding board for curious fence-riders who simply want to know what's what. And being able to educate someone with factual, experience-based information to help balance out the tripe they read elsewhere is definitely worth the cost. Who knows; the heart you open up could be that of the next Abortioneer!

Defining Choice

I came across an editorial published online for the Chicago Sun Times about being pro-choice and whether that means defending one's right to have an abortion or to carry to term. I won't recount their editorial, but I think it's a pretty interesting read and recommend you check it out. It made me think about choice and what it means to be pro-choice.

For me personally, pro-choice isn't pro-abortion. I am pro-choice because I think that people have the right to make decisions about their life and their body. If your choice is lawful, why should it be any of my business? For me this means people should be able to choose abortion, choose to carry to term, choose to use their preferred method of contraception, or choose not to use contraception - all without stigma.

It frustrates me to no end when someone refers to me as pro-abortion, which is something anti-choice folks say all the time. First of all, abortion is only one part of what choice means to me. Also, and this may surprise or bother some of my pro-choice brethren, but I'm not pro-abortion. I don't necessarily think that someone should have an abortion. I think they should have the CHOICE. That's what it's about - the ability to choose what is best for you. This blog is the Abortioneers and a lot of what we do and talk about obviously revolves around abortion, but choice, for me, includes many different aspects of reproductive health. And I am happy to live in a country where people have the right to decide which choice is right for them and their families.

Seriously, the GOP frightens me.

A Few Things:
1. Could this video be anymore reminiscent of George W. Bush? Seriously creepy.
2. Liberals often criticize GOP leaders like Bush, Palin, Bachmann, and Perry for being, well, not very smart. I think this video is an excellent example of this. Republicans counter that Liberals are just snobby intellectuals who think people who don't talk in "educated" ways are therefore stupid. Therein lies the problem and I think the crux of differences dividing the parties. Just because I think Rick Perry is a fucking idiot and this video is an excellent example of his fucked up ideas, does not mean I think everyone from Texas is stupid. I think Rick Perry is stupid because he has a moral stance (sex before marriage is wrong/bad/sinful and abstinence is the only way) that he maintains in the face of overwhelming evidence that abstinence only education does not work and does not do any favors for the teens of Texas or anywhere else in the United States. When pushed on this, and I give props to the interviewer for refusing to let Perry off the hook, Rick Perry bumbles and offers no legitimate reasons why abstinence-only education works besides "abstinence works."
This is what Liberals find so annoying - just saying you personally believe it works in the face of facts that suggests otherwise does nothing to persuade me that you have a credible opinion. Conservatives, who tend to have more opinions based on morals, I think find this appealing because he is "sticking to guns" that sex is bad and abstinence is the best.
3. This practical/moral divide is even more apparent in the abortion debate. The pro-choice sides argues that women should have control of their reproductive rights and be able to choose when and if they have children because it's a complex issue and sweeping laws banning it don't make sense in many cases. Rape, incest, maternal indications, say the father is abusive, or the family lives under the federal poverty line, or the mother gets sick often, or the mother already has 3 kids.............etc. Anti-abortion people say abortion is murder no matter what and therefore all abortions are bad. (Except for, of course, when they get pregnant. Every clinic I've ever interacted with has stories of protesters who come in for procedures).
4. Both the contraceptives and abortion issues also highlight, at least to me, that Republicans don't care about women. Their beliefs on this matter have no gray area, no wiggle room. If you are a teenager and had sex (BTW I wonder how old Rick Perry was when he lost his virginity?), there is no message of "Maybe we should talk about sexuality," or even, "Let's talk." It's you are bad you did a bad thing and if you are pregnant then you better keep it! Because that bad thing you did results in a magical holy pregnancy and if you want an abortion then that is EVEN WORSE because that's murder. Obviously, not everyone who identifies as Conservative holds these beliefs and I'm not trying to suggest that every Republican thinks that way. However, there is something to be said for the idea of fact-based opinions and moral based opinions, IMHO (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)
5. THIS IS TERRIFYING NEWS FOR THE ELECTION. Since, historically, the economy is the greatest predictor of who will get elected, it seems likely (at this point) a Republican is most likely going to get elected. The prospect of having to deal with another of these idiots in the Oval Office is really sad/frustrating/UGHHHH

Jennie McCormack: You Rock!

I’m often in awe of the strength of women. In my experience, women who seek abortions often exhibit the most strength I’ve witnessed. In awe? Yes. Strengthened myself as a result? Yes. So women who stick their tongues out at abortion stigma and announce to others they’ve had one, and announce loudly and proudly publicly they’ve had an abortion (and to get off their backs), amaze me even more. I’m saddened it must amaze me (stigma, stigma, stigma), but still, I respect the strength.

Jennie Linn McCormack is one of these women. She’s from Idaho. Pocatello, Idaho. And if any of you know much about Idaho, you know just how conservative it is. You may not know this, but, Idaho is one of the states that made it illegal to have an abortion after 20 weeks’ gestation. Jennie was arrested in May for having an abortion (which would’ve required her to go to Salt Lake City, Utah as there aren’t any providers in Idaho that go beyond 14 weeks. She didn't have the financial means to do this, as many women don't.). Allegedly, she performed a self-induced abortion. Get this: her sister’s “friend” called her in to authorities. If you want to read more about Jennie Linn McCormick’s situation, you can read here; but obviously, since we’re abortioneers, we’re supportive of her decision to seek an abortion after 20 weeks, regardless of her reasons. Well, anyway, charges were dropped, but she has now filed a lawsuit challenging the “fetal pain abortion ban.” Jennie is pressing charges against the state saying the ban is unconstitutional as it doesn’t allow for maternal or fetal indications (as reason for abortion later in the pregnancy) as Roe v Wade promises.

I'm incredibly sad that Jennie Linn didn't know about other resources that may have been available to help her obtain a safe, legal abortion. The Justice Fund within the National Abortion Federation is a national abortion fund that can help women in Idaho pay for their abortions (they also help women from any other state where Medicaid doesn't cover abortions). I'm not sure if she ever contacted a clinic, but if she did, I can only hope they tried to connect her to the National Abortion Federation. And hopefully, then, she would've spoken to an individual who would've brainstormed with her and helped with case management in order to get her to a clinic to have an abortion either in Boise, Idaho; Spokane, Washington; Seattle, Washington; Salt Lake City, Utah; or Portland, Oregon. Traveling to such places can place a huge hardship on women, like Jennie; but there are some clinics and abortion funds that will help women pay for the cost of travel, pay for hotels, or set clients up with volunteers so they can stay in their homes.

I think Jennie Linn is a hero for pressing charges against the state and for bringing to light the lack of access to abortion services in Idaho. Whether she realizes it or not, she is facing stigma straight on and telling it to go suck itself. She’s telling the lawmakers in Idaho to do the same. All the while, she’s standing up for all Idaho women – women who are totally undeserved – in hopes of helping pave the way for better rights.

Jennie Linn McCormack. You rock.