These roots were made for abortioneering

I was born into abortion. And yes, that statement is logical.

My earliest memory of being exposed to abortion was when my sister told me “We don’t get pizza from Domino’s, they are pro-life”. I didn’t know back then what pro-life meant, but I knew I didn’t want to be it (because I eagerly mimicked everything my sister did including ice skating, gymnastics, and playing with Barbies).

Years later I ended up working at an abortion clinic and I was fortunate to have the support and approval and encouragement of my entire family. I have met many abortioneers over the years that hid their profession from their loved ones and I luckily never had to be quiet about my work and passion.

Am I a direct product of my pro-choice upbringing? I often wonder if I would have been born into a pro-life family would I have ended up pro-life? Well thankfully that is a scenario I was never faced with. So here’s the rundown on my family tree:

Dad is a pro-choice neonatologist, and yes that is also extremely logical. He has spent his life taking care of babies who were born premature or ill. Oftentimes these babies were not wanted and he sees the direct result of women who were denied access to abortion and how an unwanted child impacts their health. He understands how women and girls don’t have access to family planning and he understands rape and incest. He is an advocate for women and for what they choose and that is ultimately the best kind of medicine. My dad was the first person I would call after a heartbreaking case at work. I needed someone to vent to and I knew he would understand the hard things I was constantly dealing with at the clinic.

Mom was a nurse midwife for years. One of her first jobs out of school was at an abortion clinic right after abortion was legalized. She is the first person I go to any time I am fundraising for pro-choice causes because she is such an incredible supporter. She is the epitome of pro-choice and would never question the choice of a woman or pass judgment.

My aunt is currently a prison nurse but worked in an abortion clinic years ago. She is also a no-questions-asked advocate for women.

My half-cousin who is a generation older than me is a nurse practitioner who has worked at Planned Parenthoods all across this great nation of ours. Once when I was babysitting her daughters I ordered pizza from the above-mentioned Domino’s (they were the only number I knew to call for delivery)…when she got home she promptly threw out the leftover pizza. I have never ordered from Domino’s since!

So those are my roots…I look forward to passing on my own abortioneering to the next generation.

Reading and ranting: when theory doesn't meet practice

So I'm reading this paper. It's about desired and actual fertility levels in developing countries. And it's written by...an economist.

No offense to any economists reading this, but y'all say a lot of funny things. You base a lot of your reasoning on the idea that people make "rational decisions" and everything else follows logically from there, but underneath that you have a very restricted sense of what rational decisions might be.

An example: this paper posits that there is "a very small influence of contraceptive access on fertility levels .... The decision to have another child is simply too important and too costly for contraceptive costs to play a major role." 

I kind of hesitate to name this paper and author, because in fact it's a very interesting paper with some thoughtful research behind it and some good points to make. But I just need to say it: are you fucking kidding me? 

Sure, it's easy for you to say from your armchair, "It just doesn't make sense to behave any other way; if a woman can't afford birth control, she certainly can't afford a child, so she should be sure to get on birth control because it's a tiny investment compared to the cost of a kid." Well, duh. 

But I mean: has this guy EVER spoken with an actual woman of reproductive age (as they say) during his career? Here in the first world, where theoretically there is a pharmacy around every corner and Medicaid for poor people, I have met SO MANY women who would have loved to buy contraceptives in the month they got pregnant, but couldn't afford it because diapers or seizure medication or a new (used) tire had to come first. The thing is, if you can't afford birth control this month, the fact that you could even less afford to have a child doesn't matter -- you still can't afford birth control right now. And then accidents happen. 

This doesn't even get into all the pseudo-consensual sex that occurs even in the U.S. -- not to mention more resource-poor countries -- meaning you may be afraid of getting pregnant and unable to get birth control but you may also have little agency in sexual decisions. Your abusive partner is actively trying to get you pregnant as a control tactic. The guy you depend on for child support comes around every few weeks and maybe gets a little pushy. You support your four siblings by trading sex for food. You live on the street and cops routinely harass you until you'll fuck them! 

I'm just saying. The fact that it's cheaper doesn't always mean birth control is cheap enough. 

The paper goes on to use other, more sound arguments to propose that the well-known idea of "unmet need" for contraceptives is more or less moot, because "actual fertility" levels are nearly identical to "desired fertility" levels in most developing countries. Really, they are interesting points, but then he doesn't even address the extremely high rates of unsafe abortion in those same countries -- a pretty strong indicator of desperately not wanting to be pregnant, I'd say, and of a need (an unmet need, if you will) to avoid pregnancy in the first place. I mean, stuff like that: WTF, economists?

So I am still trying to understand how a person can write about the real-life problems of real-life individuals, overlook critical aspects of the situations many of them are in, and write off an entire sub-field of health as irrational or unnecessary. I mean, I feel like if someone asked the author about the abortion thing, he'd dismiss it by saying he is only looking at the "big picture" of births per woman, and his point is that women on average are still having as many children as they say they desire and that point still holds, and micro-level issues such as death and disability due to unsafe abortion are only details to be worked out by someone else who takes an interest in that stuff. And that's as may be -- perhaps you just wanted to show something interesting about these national-level birth-related indicators -- but really, even if it's just carelessness, you shouldn't let your theory errantly piss all over others' actual practices. 

Better strategies:
1) Acknowledge that there is an unmet need for contraception so long as unsafe abortion is widespread, or
2) Acknowledge that abortion is an important part of your finding that women are meeting their "desired" fertility levels, and include in your recommendations section that it be made safer and more accessible.

To put it less wordily -- those women your science can't understand: they are nevertheless real and you haven't managed to math them away.

The Case of the Minor

I would like to piggy back off of Revolutionary Vagina's last post about the young girl who self-induced an abortion using a lead pencil. An article about this was posted on lifenews.com, and contains several false and just plain ridiculous claims.

I am sure this story probably has most people wanting to vomit and cry at the same time as their hearts break for this little girl. I would also guess however that many of those same people would not even bat an eye if her method of killing her child had been a RU 486 prescription from the local Planned Parenthood. -Bryan Kemper, head of Stand True, a pro-life group

First of all, you cannot get the pill from Planned Parenthood to induce abortion after about 9 weeks. From the article, it sounds as if she was much much further along, but who really knows. If she was "delivering a baby," I would guess she had to been late second trimester. If she was that far along, wouldn't her parents have noticed? If she was in her first trimester, she wouldn't have delievered a "baby." She would have bled a lot. Kemper makes it sound like you can just take the pill at 25 weeks and boom you're done. Totally not the case.

Secondly, if this young woman would have been able to go to Planned Parenthood to get her abortion pill prescription, she would have had an interview with a counselor. Obviously, we cannot know if she would have told the truth to the counselor or not, but it would definitely have been in her best interest to talk to an adult about having an abortion before trying to perform one on herself. Thus it probably would have been GOOD for her to go to Planned Parenthood.

It is also a very different thing to perform an abortion on yourself and then have your creepy older boyfriend bury the fetus in a ditch. That is just not normal. That is very sad, scary, and bizarre. Having an abortion in an abortion clinic is normal. It is safe. It is not dangerous. The risk of even minor complications is very, very low when an abortion is performed in a safe, sterile environment with trained medical professionals, like at a Planned Parenthood. So, yes, I would not bat an eye at that. If that makes me a monster, then you have a fucked up definition of what it means to be a monster.

Kemper also said, "I can also hear the spin now, 'this is why we need safe and legal abortion,' -- even though abortions are already legal and are supposed to prevent such self-induced abortions." This goes back to precisely what Revolutionary Vagina was talking about. Pennsylvania has parental consent laws. She obviously did not want to tell her parents. How come none of the anti-choicers want to talk about that? If she was able to go to a clinic she wouldn't have been in this situation. THAT is the problem. Further, she is thirteen years old. She is child. I can say at thirteen I was in no shape to be having sex, and definitely not sex with someone SEVENTEEN years older than me. Can we take a step back and ask, why was this thirteen year old doing this? Her boyfriend/partner/creeper said he had sex with her "hundreds" of times. How did this happen? It troubles me this happened so many times yet nobody seemed to be aware. Of course, teens can be very sneaky and do a good job hiding things from their parents, but she is thirteen! I find it hard to believe a thirteen year old could sucessfully pull that off unless she is some sort of smooth talking magical pixie with a unicorn.

My favorite quote of the article is "'If the girl had gone to Planned Parenthood he would probably still be raping her as I doubt they would have turned him in," Kemper explained."

It is true there are cases where Planned Parenthood staffers did not appropriately follow state rules and turn in a man who was engaging in an inappropriate relationship a minor. I think that is terrible. It is beyond messed up. I would prefer if everyone followed the rules about that. I do think that each staffer was trying to act in the best interest of the minor, even if the staffer might not have been in reality. Either way, it is ridiculous to assume that all Planned Parenthoods everywhere just let minors get raped all the time like it's no big deal, because that is definitely NOT the case. I have worked with plenty of clinics that have bent over backwards to get guys arrested who were doing that kind of stuff. Planned Parenthoods and clinics, for the vast majority of cases, DO follow the rules. And rapists get caught. Which is a good thing because they might otherwise have not.

How come anti-choicers don't want to talk about how clinics often get bad guys in trouble. Or that this girl, who could have died, and just went through something terribly traumatic, didn't have to go through that. She could have just had a regular, safe abortion. It wouldn't have been the horrifying experience of shoving a pencil into your own uterus and then becoming violently ill and having to have your boyfriend who is not a doctor deliver your dead baby for you and then take it and bury it in a ditch. The fact she had to go through that is so fucked up. If she had access to a clinic, she would have been able to have an abortion with a doctor who knows what he/she is doing and with counselors who are trained to talk to her about her decision. A fucking sad state of affairs. Perfect example of what parental consent laws are dangerous.

Also -- if anyone stumbled upon this page by googling the story of the girl who used the pencil, and is thinking of using a pencil or anything to self abort. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT. Self aborting is very dangerous and often leads to at minimum serious complications and even death. If you have questions about where to go please see the National Abortion Federation's list of clinics or contact your local Planned Parenthood for a place in your area.

Nth Degrees of Abortion

Sex has changed since working at the clinic. So have meals, long stares, idle thought, light conversations about happy things. I can have anything have to do with abortion. I do not have to try. I do not need six degrees.

I would imagine things will begin to change in Washington. Someone will be willing to listen. If I could talk to the president about anything, I'd talk to him about abortion. Basically sacred, an instrument all its own. Let it be. We who wish the best for the women having them, who never ever fall short of empathy--let us dwell in it. Let us usher the women having them. Let us make it beautiful and right. Better for them and for health care and motherhood and the earth and spirituality and arts and publishing and advocacy and counseling and families and babies and local farmers and birds and christmas carols and...

Sign what needs to be signed. Veto what needs to be vetoed. Call me if you have any questions. Have your friends call me. Give them my number. Pleazzzzzesss.

The time to share has come. The outlook is good. Beyond the vow to protect confidentiality. The gross resistance. The heartbreak that leaves you sobbing, coping in unfamiliar patterns, laughing at things others will not get and feeling so sweet and so wicked. There is a woman, a patient, who deserves a dignified solution to her medical plight. A story. A mother. A daughter. A really good reason to have an abortion.