Shitty Jobs: They Exist Here, Too

Abortioneers can have shitty jobs. Most of us do the work because we care. We look to the greater good. We are motivated by helping others (and if you’re not, you won’t last long as an Abortioneer). Most of us are grossly underpaid and grossly overworked. Most of us have co-workers who are incredible and inspiring. Hopefully, we have bosses and doctors who give a shit and don’t take the crazy stress out on their employees.

Those of you who work in clinics are pretty amazing, really. You get up every day and go to work in the face of protesters that scream at them. You hold onto complete strangers' secrets and carry them as your own. You put up with threats. You get isolated socially because it's hard to talk about your job. You hold hands. You wipe tears. You smile. You're brave. Sometimes you get into the safety of the clinic to face unhappy, burnt-out, unkind co-workers or, worse, bosses. Yes, they exist. They exist everywhere, don’t they? Why should abortioneering be any different?

We’re all so scared to talk about the shit that exists within our work because we want to portray an image of the altruistic feminists who fight hard for the cause, never give up on women needing abortions, and never give up on their employees. That doesn’t always exist. The reality is, just like in any other job, there can be fucking shitty managers. Fucking shitty co-workers. Fucking shitty work environments. And guess what? We hatehatehatehate talking about it because we:
1) Don’t want to get outted to our employers (and possibly face getting fired)
2) Don’t want to fuel the antis who read our blog and will say, “See! You guys are suffering because of the evil work you do!”

I’m sick of both of those things. My dear, dear co-blogger, Sparky, just wrote about how she’s having a hard time at work in this post. She’s brave. I admire her. She spoke out. Our work is hard. It’s easy to get burned out. We givegivegive of our hearts and sometimes our employers don’t really give much back to us in terms of support. Sometimes our employers tend so much to the “business” part of our business, that they forget the heart of it. They forget that without passion, without advocacy, without caring for more than the bottom line (and without having employees who do, to their core, have these qualities), they will have a very cold business. They will lose those who care the most: who are motivated by making a difference in women’s lives. Some of my friends are getting lied to by their bosses: being promised that they would always have a job/not get a paycut/not get laid-off/that they’re too valuable to ever lose; then all of the above happens. And employees who are rude to patients, rude to other employees, who suck the heart out of a clinic stay behind.

I understand Sparky. I’m burned out, too. I’ve been burned out. And I realize that sadly, where I work, there are lots of unhappy people who probably are just waiting to get out. Maybe they want to find a replacement before they quit. I’m looking for a new gig. I’m loyal to abortion work, but I’m no longer loyal to my clinic. Hard to be loyal around those who aren’t loyal to you or who you can’t really respect.

So, we’re sorry to those of you who are struggling at work. It totally sucks. If employers dump so much stress on their staff on top of the inherent stress that already exists doing this work, they’ll lose all their best people (they’ll either quit or they’ll get so disenchanted and angry that you won’t want them anymore). What a terrible thing to squash the passion and the love of the work out of your employees or co-workers.

In my opinion, abortion clinics should be a place of love. When they aren’t anymore and there’s nothing you can do about it, it’s time to get out.

Burn-out

Thank you to deliverance for joining us again as guest blogger today!

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I was talking with a co-worker yesterday about our work in abortion care. "We should all work part-time here, and then part-time somewhere else, like…an ice cream shop!"

What a great idea, I thought.

Burnout has gotten me down and it is harder than ever to self-motivate. A sanctuary-type environment where I used to continually stumble upon joyful moments, has become a normal office building with boring tasks.

It's not the absence of all joy or gratification, but those moments have become few *and* far between.

Part of it is repetition--the same stories ("I feel like I am killing."), the same obstacles (poverty), and less patient interaction in my current position.

It's also about money. Recently I called a few clinics to get an idea of how much others charge for abortions. There was a clinic a few states away charging over $600.00 for first trimester abortions. Considering how challenging it is for patients at our clinic to pay for procedures, I can't imagine how difficult it is to come up with twice as much money. Then again, women in that state probably don't have any other option.

According to the National Abortion Federation, women cannot access abortion in 88% of counties in the U.S., and that percentage rises to 97% for women in rural areas (http://www.prochoice.org/about_abortion/facts/access_abortion.html). It doesn't take a genius to figure out why we need people who have a ton of passion and motivation to work in abortion care--this right is, and has been, on the brink of extinction.

I have met and waved goodbye to numerous abortioneers who have flung their entire selves into abortion care, but when it comes down to it (and I really do hate to say it), what we make isn't sustainable. If you want to have a family, go back to school, travel to get away from such stressful work, while also meeting rent, buying groceries, and paying off student loans (a Bachelor's degree is required for many positions at clinics)--good luck.

There is an effort on many of our parts to not only be happy, but to thrive with less--we don't need most of the shit we buy anyway--but fair pay is surely a feminist issue, one which many clinics want to avoid discussing. "Everyone needs a raise," is a reply I've gotten quite often, but I don't think that's so true when looking at wages for administrators and doctors.

Despite all of this, there are still some abortioneers who stick around. They have worked at clinics in the same position for 7 or 8 years, and although many clinics don't have much room for advancement, they hang on because our work can be that important and fulfilling. Some go to medical school to become providers. Others study midwifery, so they can deliver babies as well as provide abortions, in the few states where midwives are able to do such comprehensive care. A few play the game of working their way up to an administrative position.

When I realized I wouldn't be one of those people, I started to make plans to "move on," as people call it (even though I will take this work everywhere with me). I feel guilty for knowing I will one day leave, and resentful for what could've been.

For those of you who stay for the duration of your working life, thank you for being the backbones of our movement. Your amount of commitment and dedication is astounding to me.

Moving On

I am grateful for Sparky's last post about "Dr. Rude." I, too, have run into a Dr. Rude, and it's so not fun.

What I - sadly - feel of more often is the need to advocate for patients within my own clinic. It's true that many clinics are suffering across the country. Most are seeing fewer clients. We're worried about healthcare reform and Obama selling us out. We want to keep our doors open so we can serve women. I believe, however, when a business focuses so much on the operations of running a business, and forget the women, forget their stories, forget why they're here in the first place...then they lose sight of why our work is so important, and they'll ultimately lose business, too. (Unless, of course, they're the only provider in the area!)

I was recently told, "you advocate for all the women," as if that's a bad thing. Seriously? Are you kidding me? Since when is it a barrier to be passionate about this work? Since when is it a barrier to completely care with all your heart and soul about the women we see? Since when is it bad to go the extra mile, find a little more funding for a woman, and ensure she has a safe abortion in a compassionate setting?

Like Moral Pilgrim, one of our avid readers/commenters, I am very passionate about patient advocacy. It's what motivates me. It's what puts a fire in me. I think about the women. I fight for them because I give a shit. I don't forget that pregnancy impacts every.single.aspect.of.their.entire.lives. I don't forget that. I treat each woman with respect and kindness. Even when I'm fucking tired and would like to go home. Even after getting it in the ear about spending time with someone who is making one of the biggest decisions of their lives. Because guess what? You spend the fucking time, you give a shit, you put your heart on your sleeve, you are compassionate and genuine...and (as if, by fucking magic!) you'll have a good clinic, with good staff, and with patients who are fucking grateful and will go tell all their friends how great xyz clinic is.

Oh. And since most of us clinics get their referrals from friends/family, it's probably not a terrible idea to forget why we're here doing abortions. Because it's not about abortion. It's not about how fast the doctor can finish his job so he can sod off home for the day. It's not about the bottom line. It's about giving a shit. It's about LIFE. I will say that again: OUR WORK IS ABOUT LIFE. It's about EVERYTHING. And if you don't get THAT, you shouldn't be doing this work. And if you're in this work just because of a paycheck, or because you can't be bothered to look for a new job in a bad economy, or because you feel you have to be loyal to your business (even though you're finished and done with it all), then this is my suggestion: move on. Get a new job. Quit wasting your time. And a note to those of us in companies where maybe we're not so excited with the current philosophy of where we work: maybe we, too, should find a new clinic where clients come first. Really. Or start our own clinics!