Thursday, April 22, 2010

"Hello, my name is XXX. I am the proud parent of an Abortioneer"


Last week, Daughter of Wands posted a tale of talking with her mother about a clinic experience and how her work as an Abortioneer relates to her family. My own mother is an avid Abortioneers reader, and she later mentioned to me that she liked seeing Daughter of Wands' mom (Wands, herself?) post a comment, and that gave her an idea: My mother, the Progenitor of Desembarazarme (Desembarazarle?), proposes a blog, or maybe a club, or a support group, even, for Proud Parents of Abortioneers. It wouldn't be a place for them to commiserate, because, my mom reasoned, what is there to commiserate about when your daughter (or son) is working every day to give women a choice, to keep abortion safe and legal, and doing work they love? It could be a place to brag about our good work, or to talk about how they wish they didn't have to see us cry in anguish over a tough case. They could discuss how they don't feel free to talk about their kids' jobs because they don't live in a community that lets them talk freely about their beliefs. And boy, oh boy, would they have tales to tell about the time before abortion was legal because don't forget, they lived it. They could also probably discuss their unspoken fears as we walk through protesters to go to work behind bullet-proof glass. And sure, they could talk about how even though they're life-long pro-choicers, until we started working at our clinics or our support jobs, they never had to really think about the realities of a 23 week abortion, and how they got OK with that (or didn't).

I give out pamphlets and brochures and websites written on scrap of paper to clients all the time--materials that direct them to post-abortion support groups or hotlines. I've given out booklets about decision-making, and I love suggesting sites that demystify abortion and de-terrify clients. So why couldn't I give out a card to my colleagues' parents letting them know that THEY aren't alone? I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time they were exposed to a group like that...after all, if they are the parent of an Abortioneer, they're probably used to 18+ years of finding support for parents of a feisty/stubborn/sensitive child. Now, they could get some company as they parent feisty/stubborn/sensitive adults.

Props to my mom and Daughter of Wands' mom and all moms and dads and grandparents and aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters and friends and fifth cousins twice removed who read and who love us. The antis want us to tell you thanks for not aborting us (though let's face it: I'm sure they wish we were aborted, if only they believed in it!), but I say, thank you for believing that you had a choice when you were pregnant with us, and thank you for raising us in such a way that allowed us to become the Abortioneers we are, and thank you for supporting us and our choices as well as all women and their choices. And to my mom, in particular: Thank you for donating to the NNAF Bowl-a-Thon. (And for so, so much more.)

4 comments:

  1. That's a great idea! I wonder how my parents would react to a support group... Every time I read posts about your mom, DOW's mom, etc, I feel all warm and fuzzy. My parents are great, but they aren't really like that. Like, my mom doesn't talk about it around her mostly-anti friends, but I wonder whether she would if her friends were more pro-choice. I don't know the answer!

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  2. I'd add thanks to the parents for raising us to be critical thinkers, to know how to evaluate truths from propaganda, to embrace compassion for humanity, to know that we are, as Dr. Leroy Carhart said, prolifers because we love life in all its complexities, even when abortion is the best or only option for a woman's life. Many thanks.

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  3. What a nice idea! Kind of like Placenta Sandwich's boyfriend's "Mates of the Abortioneers" idea. But at the end of the day, abortioneer moms are Abortioneers themselves!

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  4. P.S. This Abortioneer's mom loved to reminisce about the pre-Rowe days when she and her fellow female med students were threatened with expulsion if they became pregnant. They rode their bikes to neighboring states to get abortions, or else they'd have to kiss their dreams goodbye. What a world!

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