Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Walking Contradiction: Confessions of an Abortioneer

Recently, I've caught myself looking at my pro-choice friends (which should be ALL of my friends because I aim to have no anti-choicers in my life) and thinking, "Sure, she SAYS she's pro-choice, but when is she gonna put her money where her mouth is?!" (Or put her pen and paper where her mouth is, or put her mouth where her private views are, or put her volunteer hours where her mouth is or whatever convoluted metaphor describes it best.) Never mind the fact that just last week, I was saying, "I don't care how you do or don't show your views; just support choice!"

And even worse, I've caught myself looking at some of my other pro-choice friends and thinking, "Sure, she volunteered as an escort once, but that doesn't mean she can run her mouth all the time about what it's like to fight to abortion access on a daily basis! I'm the only one who knows that!" And then, read the above paragraph, rinse, repeat, and shake your head at me.

I didn't even realize that I was doing this until recently. I shake my head at me. And friends and family who read this, no, I'm not talking about you. And the thing is that even if I were, the point of this post is my unique experience as an abortioneer and my strange, strange biases. I don't have answers and I'm not proud of this confession, but when I put it out there, it loses some of its power over me. And sometimes, I need to show my unpretty side of abortioneering.

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