I help women.
I help women who ask for abortion services. Who want them. Who believe that abortion is the key to their futures, their successes, their happiness.
And all of a sudden, I'm the bad guy.
Women are smart. I repeat: women are smart! Women know what they want, what they need. They pursue it ruthlessly. A woman who wants an abortion wants an abortion. Is this unclear?
Can I help a woman by not respecting her desires? Can I help a woman by trying to convince her that she's nutso, that she really only wants the abortion because she's been brainwashed? Can I afford not to listen to other human beings who are reaching out to me? I understand now why the homeless and hungry become so enraged when do-gooders refuse to give them money, but offer sandwiches instead; it's not what they asked for, not what they want, not what would get them through the day! Do they care what I think is best for them? Do they care if what they want is completely contrary to what society tells them is good and wholesome? They don't! They might just really want that cigarette. Maybe some homeless folks would really like that sandwich, but is that up to me? Not so.
This reminds me of a horrible episode of "Trading Spouses" that I once saw. At the end of each episode, each family uses $20,000 or something like that to buy gifts for their temporary families. In this particular situation, a well-off family traded moms with a not-so-well-off one. At the end, the not-so-well-off mom gave wonderful gifts to each member of the family that they loved. She listened to them, learned their personalities, put thought into things that would make them feel happy and appreciated, e.g. bought a guitar for the aspiring teen rock star. But the well-off mom...yikes. She put all the money into a savings account for the kids with the stipulation that they graduate college before accessing it. Graduate?! How were these poor children going to get to college to begin with? Did you consider that, crazy lady? And I'm sure she thought she was doing them a great service, and in another world she might have been. But when you don't understand the contexts of the people you're "helping", and their hopes and dreams and realities, its easy to say and do INSANE things without considering whether these people are actually better off after you come into their lives.
And so, as Abortioneers, we help people. We help them all the time, and we improve lives. Whichever decisions women make, we help them by respecting those decisions. We respect who those women are, what they want, what they need, and from their own standpoints and not from our pie-in-the-sky pedestals in Abortionland. I would never tell a woman who asked, begged me for help to access an abortion that she would be better off doing something else. Because something else is not what she wants. You see, Abortioneers grant wishes :)
I completely agree - and have long felt the same way about people asking for cash on the street, incidentally. I do like the concept of offering people food or a sweatshirt if they're hungry or cold, but it can be insulting if that's not what they need, like you said. And it's sad that you have to "earn" the right to use substances that 99% of everyone else uses, and the way to earn that right is to have a nice house so no one can wonder if your priorities are mixed up. SO many assumptions going into that one. Well anyway...also, Abortioneers!
ReplyDeleteok, so this is scary. yall posted within hours of each other, on the exact same thing. anyways, the facebook screenshot is worth reading here:
ReplyDeletehttp://talesfromethehood.wordpress.com/2009/12/16/1-5-of-3-required-reading/
Well said, and a point worth making. People want what they want... whether it's a woman seeking an abortion (for whatever reason), a homeless person refusing a bag of cucumbers, or the third-world poor.
ReplyDeleteKeep writing. (and stay safe!)
ZOMG, talesfromthehood commented on our blog! Heh. (hi there, longtime reader first time interacter...)
ReplyDelete