I’ve been working on this post since the day I was born. I turned 30 years old this week and I am finally ready to confidently say what I am going to say. I have spent 30 years on a journey of finding out who I am and getting to be comfortable with all the things I am. This might seem simple or obvious, but most of the things that define me are things that are not popular or simple or easy or even likable. Maybe you can relate, I mean, aren’t all abortioneers a bit unpopular at times/places?
I’m done apologizing for who I am. I don’t owe explanations to anyone and I don’t need to censor or tone things down. If I had a penny for every time a friend or family member or co-worker has asked me to tone it down, well then I’d actually be one of those rich abortioneers the antis always reference!
I’m an Abortioneer. I love abortion and all the good it does in this world. I have seen a 26 week abortion and handed the physician the instruments and did not think twice or have any feelings of sadness or disgust or ambivalence.
I am an ethical vegan. I am proud of the fact that I am intentional about every single food or drink that enters my body. I aim to respect animals in every way possible and that starts with what is on my plate and how I engage with food. I am healthier and happier not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, and I know this is because I am vegan.
I am a feminist. I always have been. I don’t know any other way to be. And yes, I fit lots of the stereotypes. I hate wearing bras. I don’t wear makeup. I generally do not enjoy the company of most men. I like tye dye. I have been called a radical feminist, angry feminist, feminazi--yet I am just a feminist...so simple.
I am gender agnostic. I reject gendered labels and I hate choosing a box. I dressed up as a “half boy half girl” in fourth grade.
I am a Jew. I will not feel bad about this or try to hide this part of me in situations where it is less-than-popular.
I am against marriage regardless of the gender combinations seeking it. I am undecided about having children.
My family friend called me “assertive” when I was in elementary school. I have also been called loud, tactless, obnoxious, and callous. That last one was in regards to my views on abortion (duh).
I am sex positive. I talk about sex openly and freely and don’t feel the need to discuss sexscapades in hushed tones or code words.
I have a DSM-IV diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I know how to manage this and I am not afraid to advocate for myself. I am no longer afraid to disclose this to people. I exercise a lot. Some people think I have an addiction to running and going to the gym. For me though, exercise is my medication and my treatment for anxiety. Exercise centers me. Running is better for me than popping pills.
I am filled with contradictions. I love reading celebrity gossip. I love Garth Brooks. I can be selfish. I don’t usually like sharing food.
What are you done apologizing for?
Thank you for writing this. My lover and I are in the heat of an argument about my need to be in an open relationship, which has been the case the entire time I have been in relationship with this person.ReplyDelete
I am so DONE with apologizing for who I am and my desire to have sexual relationships with more than one person. I'm sure I could think of more things i'm done apologizing for but that is #1 for me at this moment.
You sound fantastic!ReplyDelete
At 36, I wish I could say I was done apologising for anything. Unfortunately, partly due to an abusive childhood and partly to being British :-D , the urge to apologise is coded into my very being.
However, things I *very rarely* apologise for now: being a feminist, being assertive, having different opinions to other people. Expecting myself and others to be treated with respect. Calling out bullying and -isms. Not being a lady. Not being perfect.
I've come a long way!