Dreamland

Maybe this happens to every abortioneer. I know a few other abortioneers have shared their dreams about pregnancy and abortion. I had a dream I was 20 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I had no idea I was pregnant until for some random reason I got an ultrasound and I was told I was in the second trimester of a pregnancy.

I was astounded. I'm gay and I have not slept with a man in over 5 years. In my dream I could not comprehend how I ended up pregnant without sleeping with a man. It seemed obvious my very masculine female bodied partner was who impregnated me. It was some form of immaculate conception except in my dream it seemed less immaculate.

I considered abortion, my partner was like, "this is amazing, its my baby of coarse you aren't going to get rid of it." There I was knowing I did not plan this pregnancy and I have always been very clear that any pregnancy will be very planned especially given that accidents are so highly unlikely given my sexuality. In my dream I started searching for a pregnancy test, just like the ones we use at work. I finally found one and only when I saw the positive second line did I believe the ultrasound.

I felt really ambivalent about keeping the pregnancy because I did not plan it and it did not feel like it was the right time. However, I also felt really unsure about having and abortion. Ultimately I very ambivalently decided I would keep the pregnancy. Then I got lost in an unfamiliar city, alone, still trying to figure out how the hell I got pregnant.

I woke up thinking about pregnancy, parenthood, abortion, and babies. I feel really blessed that planning pregnancy is pretty much a must because I'm gay. I fear that when I'm ready it might be hard, or my ovaries will have expired. However, I feel really blessed that I will not face an accident that results in an unplanned pregnancy. In my dream every one around me was like, "this is amazing!" and all I could think was that I did not plan to get pregnant right now!

When faced with something so unintended I felt really unsure of what to do. I know one thing, it was really important to know I had the ability to choose how to handle the very unexpected circumstance.

Six Degrees of Kevin-abortion-bacon

You know that game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? Well I think that can also apply to abortion, although I would say it is probably more like one or two degrees. Everything I do in my day-to-day life and every interaction I have can somehow be related back to abortion. I see abortion everywhere and I can find a way to bring it into every conversation (either for humor or seriousness or somewhere in between). Friends of mine joke about how much I talk about abortion. A classmate and I had a running joke about bringing abortion into every classroom discussion and we would beam with pride when professors dared to include it. Just as my women’s studies classes in undergrad made me see the world through a feminist lens, my time working at an abortion clinic got me seeing the world through an abortion lens.

I see a pregnant person and I wonder if she tried to get or wanted to get an abortion.

I bought a car years ago and before I decided on a Mazda I Googled “abortion and Mazda”. I was overjoyed to find anti-abortion sites complaining about how Mazda had a hospital located at their factory and abortions were performed there. That sealed the deal!

I ride the subway with crisis pregnancy ads plastered along the inside of the cars. The pictures are always of very sad looking women (I like to think they are sad b/c they ended up at the crisis pregnancy center).

I asked the HR person at my new job what the insurance coverage was for abortion services (yup, first time meeting him, pretty sure I’ll be one to remember!).

I see a clothes hanger and think of abortion.

When I hear about friends/family using In Vitro Fertilization my first question is “Will you use selective termination if you end up with multiple embryos implanted?”

I remember legs of road trips not by the fast food joints and highway rest stops, but by the anti-abortion billboards peppering our country’s landscape.

Any time I see a health center that advertises “women’s services” or “gyn care” I get nervous that it is a crisis pregnancy center.

I get daily emails in my inbox and facebook posts with subjects like “this is about abortion and I know you will love it.”

I dream of one day organizing a marathon that gives 100% of the profits to abortion funding.

I relate costs of high-end items to abortion. Example: “Wow you spent $375 on 3 new pairs of shoes? That could have paid for an abortion.”

…Or even low-end items. Example: “You spent $40 on shoes? That is like 1/7 the cost of an abortion.”

I think about domesticated dogs getting abortions, I dream about abortions in my sleep, I wish there was an iphone app to tell me the location of the closest abortion clinic, and I am so comfortable with all of this.

And apparently Rick Santorum and I have this (and only this) in common


p.s. Of course I chose the Kevin Bacon Footloose photo…he was all about sex-positivity!

What do you connect to abortion? What are the random things that make you think of abortion? I know I'm not the only one here...

UNBORN IN THE USA: Inside the War on Abortion

Land of the free: until you're faced with an unwanted pregnancy...

Lately I have found myself fascinated with people who are against abortion, particularly those people who are anti-abortion activists. My fascination grew as I began to collect the brochures discarded in our waiting room by women who were there to have an abortion. The pamphlets are handed out by anti-choice street "counselors." These pamphlets are an extreme embellishment of possible complications involved in abortion procedures and include dramatic photos of mothers and children, images of fetuses throughout pregnancy, and describe the procedure using words that create images of dismembered babies and knife like objects inserted into a woman's vagina. They are such an embellishment on the truth that I think it's safe to say these kind of pamphlets are lies!

I recently stumbled upon a documentary called UNBORN IN THE USA: Inside the War on Abortion. This documentary included interviews with dozens of pro-life activists and sheds light on the anti-abortion movement throughout the country. The documentary explored training institutes for college-aged students such as the Focus Institute where young people receive intensive instruction on how to "minister" to pro-choice people and women to encourage them to join anti-abortion forces. The students at this institute practice role playing in order to gain skills about how to approach pro-choice people. The tactics are pretty sick, including giant gruesome pictures of dismembered fetuses as a conversation starter. I have said it before and I will say it again we need a training institute for pro-choice, pro-women, pro-family warriors! The longer I work in this field the more I think we need practical training for doctors, medical assistants, nurses, ultrasound technicians, and counselors. Thankfully there are organizations like Medical Students For Choice. We need pro-choice people trained to provide the services necessary in abortion provision.

One of the most sickening things said in the whole documentary was during one of these training sessions. The facilitator addresses how to deal with the "concern" of rape. One of the questions the students are encouraged to ask women who have been raped is if the child should pay for the crimes of their father. As someone who has been raped before and who has helped many women who were pregnant as a result of rape seek abortions I cannot even comprehend how this seems plausible to anyone, anti-abortion or not. No person's experience of rape can be minimized to a "concern," and surely most sane people would not agree with the notion that a woman should carry a pregnancy that is a result of rape so that the "child" does not pay for its father's crimes.

Another key tool developed by the anti-abortion right are Crisis Pregnancy Centers (CPC). Staff from a CPC located next door to Dr. Tiller's clinic was interviewed. This clinic offered multi-dimensional ultrasounds and was identified by the staff as a tool to help women choose motherhood. A Time Article from August 2010 estimates that there are over 4,000 CPCs in the U.S. and nearly five times as many CPC's as there are abortion clinics. These clinics purposefully choose location close enough to abortion clinics that they can easily be confused for the abortion clinic. I have spoken to dozens of women who have stumbled into these kind of centers. They are a waste of time, money, and energy. Maybe we could turn these centers into day care centers where women can bring there children during the multiple appointments that are often required to obtain an abortion.

Overall I found this documentary extremely informative; it shed light on the weapons used to fight against abortion. I hope to see the day that pro-choice people are fighting back even harder. The documentary is definitely worth checking out -- know thy enemy!

Nice save

Ahh, I just love the smell of lunacy early in the morning.

The time is upon us: "40 Days for Life" is well under way across the U.S. and other countries. I took a moment to peruse the website and found some real gems. Here is my favorite, from a collection of what appears to be soundbites from 40 Days participants:

"Learning that the 'free ultrasound' coupon worked, convincing women to get ultrasounds – and saving lives "

I'm so glad that your scheme "worked", and it doesn't sound the least bit conniving or devious. What a farce; tempting women with coupons? How about you offer her some free childcare for that baby she's about to have that she can't support? Which is not to mention that ultrasounds are also provided in ab clinic, but that's a different can of worms.

In the corner of the website there is this ticker:

September 22 – October 31
Day 29 – 346 babies saved

More like 346 women harassed, accused, guilt-tripped. Oh wait, it's more like a billion women. Those 346 are just the ones who actually stopped to listen to you, who either didn't want to have abortions in the first place or who didn't know where to turn for real information and advice and fell victim to your lies and injustice.

In a list of ways for antis to "get involved", the lovely folks at 40 Days recommend the following:

"And please consider fasting. Some people are unable to fast from food for health reasons; that's understandable. Fasting simply involves renouncing an activity that can put a barrier between you and God. It could be television, the internet, chocolate, coffee, etc. You really can do without it. Take the time you usually spend in those activities and give it back to God."

Yes, please starve yourselves. Not only will it do nothing to end abortion, but it will hopefully reduce your anti vigor and I can enjoy a peaceful walk to work. Maybe you can "fast" from being lazy idiots and go help people in need. Clean up one of the filthy, drug-paraphernalia-ridden parks that unplanned children are playing in/being kidnapped and raped in. Or are you too afraid to know how some people really live once they drive away from that clinic? Maybe. All that matters to you is that you have your chance to scream at people during your free Saturdays and head back to cushy homes where you don't have to worry about others' problems. Helping your fellow man, indeed.

Do us all a favor; if you really want to make lots of happy children why don't you start making this world a better place for them. Better homes for our children mean better communities for everybody, including yourselves you anti pricks.

Deception

A fantastical post by Mr. Banana Grabber this past Sunday reminded me of an experience I had a couple years ago. After joining Abortion Land and having had my eyes opened to the horror of CPCs, I started looking out for them everywhere. Under tables, behind bookcases. I had to make sure patients had the correct names, addresses, phone numbers of clinics to ensure that they didn't accidentally wander into a CPC wondering why they have no trained health care personnel on staff. So it was pretty obvious when the signs depicting a distraught young black woman and the thoughts floating around in her head ("...my baby...") started showing up in city buses that they were up to no good. So like any curious/concerned/asshole person, I gave them a ring.

The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Hi, I think I'm pregnant.
Them: We offer free pregnancy tests if you come to one of our centers.
Me: What kind of pregnancy test? I don't like needles.
Them: No it's a urine test.
Me: Is it accurate?
Them: Sure, it's [some commercial brand] that is 99.9% accurate, like in the commercials.
Me: Do you have a doctor on staff?
Them: No
Me: What kind of people work there?
Them: We're social workers.
Me: But what if I want some medical information? I want to make sure I'm healthy.
Them: Well, you can come into our center and we can give you some information.
Me: I work, and I don't have a car. I don't know if I can get there. Can you tell me some info over the phone?
Them: We don't give out information over the phone, you'll have to come into our center. (emphasis added)

I think I even got an address for one in the 'burbs where "se habla Español", but of course I didn't go. I did try not to sound to hip to what they were really about. I figured I'd ask questions that any average Joanna would ask about a pregnancy center, using cues from actual phone convos I'd had with patients. I don't remember now if I blocked my number or not; they undoubtedly have caller ID, but luckily I never received a call back.

So, let's go through the red flags that most folks would just gloss over:

1. No doctor - or nurse, or physician's assistant, or nurse's assistant, or dental hygienist - was employed. They are not licensed to practice health care or give medical opinions (at least credible ones)
2. No clinically significant pregnancy test is administered, meaning they have no diagnostic/laboratory capacity. They buy stick tests from the drugstore that you could easily administer yourself.
3. Ambiguous clinic name. I don't remember what it was when I called, and it didn't say on the bus signs, but I remember being confused by the name. It was very unclear what kind of enterprise this was.
4. Insisting that I come to the center! They would not talk to me about anything over the phone. They wouldn't refer me to any external resources (not even external anti resources, which I found surprising). They wanted me to come in so they could hold me hostage and force feed me propaganda.

For lack of time to live a double life I dropped my investigation. I didn't think I had the gumption to actually go there and snoop around wearing a wire, but maybe I should one of these days. Of course, to get the kind of info I'd need for an exposé I'd have to get real specific and make it clear that I was onto them. For example:

"Please cite the research that you use to determine that 50% of women die within one year after having abortions."
"Please describe the physiological mechanism by which abortion causes cancer of any kind."
"Please explain why you have no health care professionals present to substantiate these health risks."
"Is this center affiliated with any religious institutions? If so, why?" (After all, there must be some atheist antis out there!)

And so on. But how to carry this out without blowing my cover? I guess it's a lost cause. But what a scoop! At the very least, some CPCs are being *sorta* honest about what they can do for you. Take the banner above, from a CPC in Michigan. They admit on their website that they do not perform abortion services, and gives a fair assessment of Plan B (at least!). Haven't gone through the entire site, but why is that so hard for CPCs to do? Why can't they just say, up front, WE DO NOT PROVIDE ABORTIONS. It might be bizarre for us to request that McDonald's disclaim that they don't provide abortion services, but not so for a pregnancy center! What a bunch of whiners.

Anywho. Pregnant ladies, if you're out there, please beware!

Crisis Pregnancy Centers

Recently, there was a pretty alarming article in the news about crisis pregnancy centers and their advertising techniques. For eons now, CPCs have spread lies and misinformation, so this is not a new development by any means, but the tidbits I found in this piece really pissed me off.

A young woman in North Texas went to what she thought was an unbiased options counseling center, called the Arlington Crisis Pregnancy Center. Unfortunately, she was gravely mistaken.

She was shown a 20-minute video of "fetuses, complications and horrible things."
Then a counselor told her that 50 percent of women who have an abortion get breast cancer and 30 percent die within a year of the procedure.
She left with one final thought from her counselor. "God wouldn't forgive me if I murdered my baby.”

50% of women who have an abortion get breast cancer? Not according to the World Health Organization, the U.S. National Cancer Institute, the American Cancer Society, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, or the American Medical Association.

30% of women DIE within a year of the procedure? Talk about fear mongering! So, just to take a quick minute to think about this, if there were 45 million (legal) abortions from 1973 – 2005, I guess then 13.5 million died because of it. Or, more then everyone in the entire state of Illinois.



Glory To God On High, For He Knows Abortion Will Make You Die, Maybe Of Cancer

I am just baffled at the total shithead nature of CPCs. Why in God’s name (pun intended) would you lie to these women? Scare them? Terrify them?

This young woman, unsurprisingly, chose not to return to this terrible place for more medical work.

When Sarah didn't return for a sonogram, the counselor tried to contact her at home. But instead of talking to Sarah, the counselor talked to her boyfriend's mother, who was visiting.
"She was told I was pregnant and considering an abortion and that she needed to stop me in order to save me," Sarah said.

AGAIN. SERIOUSLY? The best part about this is that a real abortion clinic would NEVER do this. Further, if one did, that would be a HIPAA violation. However, since CPCs are not "real" clinics, and thus do not fall under the same rules and laws, they can pretty much do whatever they want. Seems fair, huh?

CPCs routinely have confusing signs saying they offer “options” counseling (abortion definitely not among them), contraception, etc.

To wit:

As for accusations that the centers are deceptive, Joe Young (vice president of operations for Heartbeat International) said they're truthful about the services they provide. When they advertise that they provide family planning, they do. It's just in a natural way, not involving pills or contraceptives, he said.

DKSFJ:SLEKNT:SBL JF:KLSDJF:SLDKFJSETH#*$%YW(#$*%Y{

REALLY? The double standard around abortion services is really frustrating. Can you imagine if this happened in a different setting?

SIGN: CANCER CLINIC – WE OFFER CANCER TREATMENT
Hello! Welcome! We offer lots of cancer treatment services! ……Oh – you wanted traditional, medically accepted forms of treatment? Chemotherapy and the like? Oh no, sorry. We offer the natural method. Praying. By the way, if you get chemotherapy, you will rot in Hell and gnash your teeth for an eternity. And if you don’t return for your follow-up visit I am going to call your phone repeatedly and tell members of your family you have cancer.

So... how do we fix this?

I'm not sure what the best solution is here. How do we regulate places that make themselves appear to be medical facilities, but are not? There can't really be a law about lying. Certainly that is awful and disingenuous, but that is impossible to regulate. I think some sort of patient confidentiality needs to be put into place. It is unfair to try to convince women you are a medical facility and thus abide by those laws, when in actuality you do not and have no intention of respecting that woman's privacy.

Further, I think it is perfectly reasonable to require CPCs to have signs out front stating they do not provide abortion services or contraception, if they do not. Similarly, abortion clinics advertise on their signs they offer abortions. The fact that CPCs are against having to put this information out in front of their facility proves my point. They want to lie to women; create the illusion of being a real abortion clinic. If the fact they do NOT offer abortion is apparent, that stops women from coming in who have no interest in their services. AKA their target population. God forbid we stop putting women through unncessary stress and harrassment.

:-/