2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate?

I had the most amazing morning today. I had to wake up extra early and travel on busy public transit during rush hour to a corporate-area of town that I usually try to avoid, but it was all worth it! One of the abortion clinics that our hosting organization partners with held their first ever appreciation breakfast for the volunteers who work with them. This included volunteers who host their clients overnight in homes and also the volunteers who help women fundraise to pay for their procedures.

This clinic is not a non-profit, not a feminist center, and not a Planned Parenthood. They are a for-profit clinic that has impressed me time and time again with their commitment to all of their clients, not just the ones paying full cost or using private insurance. The physician who runs the clinic is visibly invested in his clients and I have been on the phone with him multiple times regarding clients and making sure their arrangements for travel and care are all set. He defies stereotypes of abortion providers and physicians in general.

I do not do this work to be thanked or appreciated, in fact that is what I love about hosting clients. I do not have to attend meetings, events, or trainings and I rarely have my face recognized as a player in the reproductive rights movement. I sometimes receive thanks from the clients I host, but not always, and that is ok with me. However, there was something very special about being appreciated this morning. I feel like what I do is usually so easy, and I really do not need a big show of thanks. If anything, I want to thank the providers, specifically the doctors, nurses, counselors, and clinic staff. They are the (s)heroes in my book and I am so thankful for what they do. I have been on that end and I know how nice it is to be appreciated.

As I said above, I don’t ask for appreciation from the clients I host, but sometimes I hear from them the night after their procedure, or a few days later, or maybe a week or two. Here’s what some of them had to say (and yes I save them on my phone for those days when I need some TLC):

(note: all messages are via text and exactly as I received them):

“Yea…Thanx 4 being concerned because I really needed it. My heart got so broken when I got home…U made me really comfy though n I appreciated it.”

“Everything went fine an were about 20 minutes from home thank u very much 4 everything we both can not thank you enough”

“It’s ZZZZ we just got home. Thank u a lot u r a very good person…”

“everything is great YYYYY is better and im back 2 work thank u again 4 everything u r great!!”

Who Has Appreciation? We do!

From the bottom of my heart I thank all abortion providers for all that they do. You endure harassment, even death threats, new laws restricting your job, news articles denouncing you and what you do, and even more. Through all of this you continue to go to the clinic, day after day, to help women access choice.

You spend hours calling funds, discussing her finances, and looking for ways where you can discount the cost. You do all of this to help low income women access choice.

You volunteer your time to answer phone calls, before, work, after work, on your lunch break, on the weekends. You listen to her story and try to give her as much money as you can to help her. You participate in activities to fund raise more money. You do this to help women piece together they money they need, so they can access choice.

You get up early to wait outside the clinic and are yelled at by protesters, pushed around, harassed. You do this to help women get into the clinic.

All of those that work in abortion care - doctors, nurses, counselors, receptionists, clinic escorts, local funds, and all of those that I missed. You are amazing. You are the reason women have access to safe, legal abortion care. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Thanksgetting

I don't do it for the thanks. If I did, there are plenty of days that I might have quit! I've had women shout at me, swear at me, tell me I wasn't a good feminist, I hadn't secured enough financial assistance for them, I didn't answer my phone often enough, I wasn't checking them in fast enough, doing enough, caring enough. When in fact I care really hard and I try really hard. Sometimes I'd hear a coworker have a similar interaction -- maybe just an abrupt goodbye after she phoned to delivered news of a donation toward a patient's abortion costs -- and hang up and mutter, "A little gratitude would be nice." Idunno, I say screw that. Women have a right to choose abortion; I don't have a right to clients' gratitude just for providing their care. It's a matter of social justice that women have access to abortion, and they don't owe me thanks for their rights. They weren't mine to give anyway.

Don't I appreciate a word of thanks from a patient who, by all rights, ought to have her mind on anything but my feelings? Of course--quite a bit. It's wonderful to hear, "You all have been so kind and so professional; thank you for making this so much less stressful and scary than I expected." It's wonderful to get letters that read "This means the world to me. God Bless and may heaven smile upon you guys. Thank you."

But it's the part that comes before it that keeps me doing this work: "Due to my pregnancy I was discriminated against at work, they cut my weekly hours from 40 to 15 and I could barely afford rent, let alone paying for an abortion or even having a baby."
"I'm involved in domestic violence and have had no one to turn to. You have saved my life from eternal abuse and my child from growing up with violent torture."
"This year I earned a sports scholarship to go to college, but when I found out I was pregnant I was afraid I wouldn't even get to graduate high school."
[Excerpted to protect privacy, but these are women's own words.]

Those women don't owe me thanks! We, as a society, owe them all that we can do to reverse workplace injustice, end domestic violence, increase educational opportunities, AND make reproductive freedom a reality. And I thank them: for not giving up, for seeking to make their own life, for being patient with the unfairly long process of seeking a provider, an appointment, the money, the ride, the babysitter, the day off to recuperate.

Thank you, so much, for the compassion and companionship that I hear you offer each other in the waiting rooms and the recovery room.

Thank you for the times I was training and you consented to have me in the room, even though my presence was of no particular use to you that day. Thanks for everything you continue to teach me and my coworkers as we strive to support you and connect you with what you need. In short, thank you for the privilege of being involved in your care -- I will try to earn it.