Please shut up so we can actually talk

Sometimes anti-abortion spokespeople act like it's huge news or a total outrage that abortion providers and abortion-rights advocates are hesitant to discuss flaws in their colleagues, partners, or movement. "See," the antis say -- and you can almost hear their crossed arms and satisfied smirk -- "They're only worried about protecting themselves, even if it means protecting their predatory, dangerous, greedy peers." And anti-abortion "activists" are constantly manufacturing problems to "investigate" and "expose" as well -- like when Lila Rose tries to prove that Planned Parenthood staff protect child traffickers, when actually they're telling the fake traffickers that young women can receive free checkups there (true), and then alerting the police (appropriate). 

In such an atmosphere, where tapes are heavily edited and even simple statements get twisted to mean something else entirely, is it any wonder that we fear perverse or disproportionate consequences, from antis and employers alike, if we speak up about the non-manufactured problems that do exist? 

Don't misunderstand: all of us, pro- and anti-choice, want dangerous abortion practices or abusive providers to be brought to light. But those are few and far between, way rarer than anti press would have us believe. So we have to spend our time dissecting what's real and what's BS, and meanwhile, there are more subtle issues that can't take stage, like "I prefer X style of abortion care provision while the only clinic in town provides it like Y," or "My organization has a fantastic mission but terrible leadership," and so forth. Stuff that I really want us to work on. Stuff that would move abortion care from "widely safe, usually decent, sometimes wonderful" to "uniformly excellent." 

I won't give a million more examples right now, but I'm working on it. But if, for example, you want to know why it's taken me weeks to draft (and months to conceptualize) a critique of Planned Parenthood's current position in our field, all you have to do is take a gander at shit like this: 

"AT LAST!! Former Planned Parenthood Director and "Employee of the Year" to Reveal Abortion Chain's WEAK LINK!"

Guest Blog: When the Movement Disappoints

A warm welcome to Steph, a fellow blogger at Abortion Gang and the founder of I Am Dr. Tiller, a site for abortioneers to make their voice heard. Steph is guest blogging at Feministe this week and has graciously agreed to cross-post here because the topic is so important to me, and one we've discussed privately many times. Expect to see more on this in the near future. Steph can be reached at twitter.com/iamdrtiller

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When the Movement Disappoints

I moved to Brooklyn from Philadelphia almost a year ago. My partner got his dream job here, so I left my decent reproductive health gig to live in the feminist mecca. I had high hopes – almost every major feminist and/or reproductive health organization has a presence in NYC. Surely, I thought, it will take me no more than a few weeks to find a job that I love.

You can imagine my excitement when over the course of a few months, I landed interviews at many of the big pro-choice organizations here. I don’t have to name them. You know who they are. I interviewed for jobs at these places that fit my experience, jobs at which I could’ve kicked ass. But each interview ended with some version of this: “I’m sorry, but you are too radical/too much of an activist to work for us.”

At one particular organization, a senior executive looked me in the eye and said, “If you work here, you have no voice on reproductive rights.”

Another organization wanted me to delete my twitter account. Some wanted me to stop blogging. Others said that because I have a published opinion on later abortion, I would be a liability. One wanted me to resign from all my volunteer pro-choice activism, namely being on the board of the New York Abortion Access Fund.

These requests were not implied. They were said to me in no uncertain terms.

I have a few theories about why this happened. Each theory deserves its own blog post, but I’ll summarize them in three bullet points.

1. New media is still, somehow, an intimidating enigma to these organizations, and they have no clue how to deal with it and with people who know how to use it well.
2. The thought of new leadership coming in means the old leadership has to go somewhere, and, well, where would they go?
3. Fear of the anti-establishment approach and of hiring someone who could potentially offend your board/donors.

Or I just could’ve been wearing the wrong outfit.

Don’t get me wrong, there are many reasons I could’ve been rejected from these positions. I’m not on some kind of vengeful rampage against these organizations. What I AM on a rampage about is this: how can a pro-choice organization tell a job candidate that her dedication to pro-choice activism disqualifies her from a job? How can you STILL, in 2011, not understand the activist potential of new media? The necessity of using anti-establishment approaches every now and then?

I can’t tell you how profoundly disappointed I was in the movement-at-large every single time this happened. Not because I’m special and deserve to be hired, but because I can’t be the only one having this experience. There is something perverse about not wanting to hire people who are so committed to the movement that they work in it in their spare time.

How many other young activists are being cast aside because we are “too radical”? How many people who do great work on their own are disqualified for being “too established?” How is a young, fired up activist supposed to pay her rent in this town without selling out?

It breaks my heart that so many of the organizations I admire mirror the corporate world: they are just as hierarchical and scared of the power of young people. We should not have to apologize for our experience or our passions. I ultimately got lucky and found a job at a place that does great work AND doesn’t force me to compromise my extracurricular activism. I remain furious that young people are treated this way, this profoundly un-feminist way, in our own movement. If your organization isn’t going to treat young, committed activists with respect and dignity, it has no future in the feminist movement.

Movers and Shakers: building this movement.

I'm from a southern town where french heritage lingers in our language mixed with some West African, Native American, and Haitian languages, and Spanish. All my life words that are unique to this region have formed my speech patterns and some might say my thought patterns as well. Since returning here I have come across many people sporting a bumper sticker that reads "Preaux Life". Apparently this sticker is a campaign for the Louisiana Right to Life Federation.

While I rarely do things like visit anti websites, I wanted to check out what the bumper stickers are funding. So they charge $1-$2 for a bumper stickers and I'm guessing the proceeds go to help them develop their "cause". I didn't see any links to the fund where they help mothers with their babies' needs...but I suppose the site made me feel so nauseous that I didn't look hard enough. However, there is a link to a camp, "Camp Joshua," where they train young antis to speak out against abortion and learn how to be anti-choice advocates. This particular camp happens every summer and is funded by the Knights Of Columbus, a group of Catholic Christians that formed based on the ideals of Christopher Columbus and now funds many anti-choice campaigns. Colonialism, racism, sexism, and women's rights is such a labyrinth of history, oppression, and struggle.

I really try not think about antis, even though every time someone wants to know my professional background I have to think about who that person is, and whether I am willing to risk enduring their BS response if they are against abortion. I watched the trailer for the camp and it was hundreds of white kids being taught to "educate people" and bring light to this issue from an anti's perspective. Quite sickening if you ask me.

So I'm thinking, where is our pro-choice camp where we teach young people to empower women to make choices that are conducive to enhancing their lives? My first thoughts are that we just have too much going on in our lives. Survival tends to sap the energy of people who are pro-choice activists and women who know they deserve choice. We are so busy trying to figure out the day-to-day necessities of accessing health care that we do not proactively train young folks to join our movement. Now, my second thought is there are so many forums in which this is possible. I used to teach a comprehensive sex education program, and there are liberal groups of youth involved in organizing movements across the nation.

I want to create a camp N'Zinga, where young people come to learn about how to advocate for women, abortion, justice, and health! A really wonderful woman, who was actually against abortion, said she believes part of the problem women face is that we do not envision ourselves in positions or power or authority. We do not know how to envision ourselves accomplishing goals that might seem out of reach. I am envisioning a place where dynamic young people come together and learn about sexual health, advocacy, or how to start and run an abortion fund, a baby sitting club, a writing group, or a book club. A place to learn activism that is guided by social justice principles that support women's rights and challenge racist, sexist, and classist systems, especially those pertaining to health care.

This is for my grrrls all around the world!