Sunday, April 26, 2009

Termination counseling 101

What do I do when I disagree with a woman’s reasons for choosing an abortion?

Funny you should ask: This does not happen to me. I don’t and can’t see why anyone would ever doubt a woman who did not wish to grow life inside of her body, to raise that child in this world.

I think I do what I do—I can’t be entirely sure—because I can easily find a woman where she is when she’s in an abortion clinic. I can’t do this for others or myself always in the rest of my life, but when I sit down to talk about pregnancy termination, I can take whatever comes from her and ask a woman to admire herself for what I hear she is doing.

I would say it’s a thing inside my blood but it’s not. It’s a spirit thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not tooting my saintly horn—sometimes I don’t like the woman. But, let’s be honest: in those cases shouldn’t I agree with her even more?


  1. Great post DoW!

    I couldn't agree with you more. I decided a long time ago that a woman's choice is..well...her choice. And who I am to judge her for the choices she makes? As soon as I personally start limiting her choices I become the same antiquated, patriarchal system that is in place in this country now. For me, choice is not grey, it's black and white.

  2. "Funny you should ask: This does not happen to me."

    me too. sometimes, i wonder where this question comes from. then again, i know people who ask it of themselves and are just as committed to the work as i am. i think, regardless of our personal comfort/discomfort, for all of us it still comes down to "who could possibly be more qualified or more entitled to judge this situation than the pregnant woman herself". duh.


This is not a debate forum -- there are hundreds of other sites for that. This is a safe space for abortion care providers and one that respects the full spectrum of reproductive choices; comments that are not in that spirit will either wind up in the spam filter or languish in the moderation queue.