Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Things I would rather do than carry an unwanted pregnancy

1. Eat seafood (those of you who know me know what a big deal that is)
2. Play World of Warcraft
3. Eat poo
4. Not bathe for one week
5. Succumb to mononucleosis
6. Watch a marathon of Lord of the Rings (again)
7. Go bald
8. Attend a Jonas Brothers concert
9. Attend a Justin Bieber concert
10. Receive medical care from Baltimore's Union Memorial Hospital
11. Lick a flagpole in Fargo
12. Go first base with Rush Limbaugh (but that's where I draw the line)
13. Have my hair done by Snookie
14. Have my hair done by The Situation
15. Live in an igloo
16. Smell tuna fish for a month
17. Live in Darfur
18. Watch Paranormal Activity again, but by myself in the middle of the night on Halloween
19. Wear Crocs
20. Sell my soul to Satan for a giant donut
21. Watch an episode of "The O'Reilly Factor"
22. Work at The Office
23. Have a credit score of 200
24. Be Kate Gosselin's partner on "Dancing With the Stars"
25. Be a Gosselin child

And so on. Please share your tragedies that are less tragic still than being denied an abortion!


  1. Loose my golf ball around the water hole as a snake wraps itself around it. . .damn ball cost me $5.

  2. Interact with a extremist antichoicer. Yuck!

  3. 1) Eat meat (I'm a vegetarian)

    2) Have sex with an anti (pukes in mouth)

    3) Be bit by Gabby, my parrot (ow...)

    4) Get my tongue stuck to a flag pole, like the kid in Christmas Story (not that I'd ever lick a flag pole..)

    5) Break a violin string. I hate that sound!

    6) Listen to a middle school orchestra play for hours on end.

    7) Watch Tom & Jerry with my 5 year old cousin for 4 hours straight (ugh, a marathon)

    I'll add more when I think of more..

  4. Okay....would you rather march in an anti-choice parade carrying a sign with a Biblical quote and a photo of an aborted fetus, or.....go all the way with Rush???

  5. L, you are delightfully twisted.

  6. Aghhh come on! Gross, you guys.

    BTW, did you see Rush Limbaugh said "if this healthcare reform bill is passed, I'll leave the country for my healthcare...I don't know, I'll go to Costa Rica."


    OK, that's all I have to say about that!

    Things I'd rather do than carry an unwanted pregnancy to term: Listen to right-wing talk radio - which is saying a lot, because that shit really kills my soul.

    Lose my friends and have to start over - really (not that that would happen, with my crowd of friends).

    Donate my boobs to charity.

    Kill myself, possibly. The last time I dreamed about an unplanned pregnancy, I was too late to have an abortion and the despair was so real I felt it when I woke up and for the rest of the day. After that, I knew very viscerally that I'd probably go to dangerous lengths if that ever happened to me. Hooray for lifelong abstinence...

  7. An anti on my blog said that forced pregnancy is equal to someone stealing an ice cream cone from you. This one is dedicated to her.

    8)Have my ice cream cone stolen.

    placenta sandwich- I know exactly how you feel. I want to get pregnant one day, but I can't imagine how painful it would be to be forced through a pregnancy. I'd probably rather kill myself, too.

  8. I'll agree on the "kill self" option.

  9. L, rather than march in an anti-choice parade carrying a sign with a Biblical quote and a photo of an aborted fetus, I would definitely go all the way with an unbathed Rush, for hours. I would make him like it.


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