I just can’t understand that there are people out there who don’t support abortion even when rape is the cause of pregnancy. I don’t want to understand these people and I don’t believe I could even be civil to one of them. I really don’t. (And if you knew me, you’d know I’m civil to most everyone.)
This week, my co-workers and I advocated for a young girl – 13 years old – who was pregnant and had been raped by her father. Last week, I was helping an elderly woman schedule an appointment for her 12 year old granddaughter who had been raped by a cousin. A couple weeks before that, I was trying to help a woman that lived 300 miles away to get to our clinic for an abortion after being raped by a guy 1,000 miles away. All of these girls had to travel to our site. All of them needed help coming up with the money to pay for it. Each of them was in their second trimester. One of them had been denied Plan B at a Catholic hospital after her rape, so she thought she didn’t need it and believed she wouldn’t become pregnant. Under lots of stress, she didn’t think twice about not having her period for awhile. The 12 year old had only just started her menses, so she didn’t even know/understand/think to tell anyone she wasn’t bleeding.
How anyone – ANYONE – could deny these young women an abortion is absolutely beyond me. As clinic employees and abortion advocates, it’s our responsibility to do everything in our power to be there for them, to give them resources, to help make their abortion experience empowering in some way. Our doctor who will help give rape victims a bit of control during their abortion; he will ask the women to hold one of his fingers and if at one point (before aspiration), they want him to stop so they can breathe/take a break, then they just have to pull on that finger. This works. It gives the clients a voice without using their voice. Some control in a position – literally – that could bring back horrific memories.
I don’t agree with – but can be respectful of – individuals who don’t agree with abortion for most circumstances; but I just cannot – and will never – be able to get behind someone who believes that even if raped, that abortion is wrong. Sometimes, I just wish that those individuals could meet one of these girls. Or just talk to them. And though everyone says it: if it was one of their children/grandchildren, I would hope to god they’d be supportive of her having an abortion after a rape, if that is what she chose (because I do know that not everyone who becomes pregnant as a result of rape chooses abortion).
Anyway, I just want to say to those who don’t agree with abortion even under this circumstance, need to totally go fuck off. That is all.
It warms my heart to know there are people like yourself and the good doctor who, quite literally, has more respect and compassion in one finger than any anti-abortion protester I have ever encountered. The bile some of these "pro-life" mouth pieces spew ranges from the inane ("two wrongs don't make a right! Save your baby!") to the malevolently cruel ("You don't look like you've been brutally raped!") to the absurd reverse victim act ("I've been lied to by so many women using abortion as birth control, why should I believe you?"). I'm baffled that more of the clients and companions we escort into our local clinic through all of this verbal detritus don't lash out more violently.
ReplyDeleteBut, just like you good folks, these loving friends and family are there to support and help heal people who have chosen to do what they feel is best for themselves, their families and their health. The best defense for those that would shame or legislate these people into doing otherwise is to not give them any juice, to give not a single little bit of a fuck what their little mouths parrot.
Amen, AAG. These are the same sickos who blame rape victims and seem to think that rape isn't a big deal. I HATE those people. I'd never wish rape on someone, but if those fools knew for a minute how frightening it is to be sexually assaulted, let alone penetrated against your will, they'd be of a completely different mine, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteYour passion is truly admirable. I wish I still saw this like you do.
ReplyDeleteBut you're asking anti-choicers to be inconsistent. If they truly belief that an abortion is the taking of an innocent human life, that's true regardless of whether or not that human was conceived through rape or consensual sex. You see how that's logically incoherent, right?
ReplyDeleteHi Erin - you're right. I am asking anti-choicers to be inconsistent; but I find that most people who call themselves "pro-life" are inconsistent. *Most* people will still find reasons where they can understand and be supportive of abortion: like rape, incest, the life of the woman is at risk, or for fetal anomalies. I think it's very rare that there is really someone so radical in their pro-life stance that they won't support abortion even in rape; however, I also realize that they are, in some twisted way, at least being true to their black + white/extreme view.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading our blog, Lizzie.
ReplyDeleteKen - thank you for commenting. I love what you wrote. Thank you for supporting the women seeking abortions by escorting. I greatly admire you and I am certain the clinic staff and the patients are ever so grateful.
ReplyDeleteAA - thank you. :)
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I wish I knew what to do/where to start to help these women. I guess for now, blogs like our's will have to do! =)
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